Chuck versus the Decision
by timewalker05
Summary: A sequel to my fic, 'Chuck versus a Normal Life.' Chuck struggles to recover from his injuries while Sarah worries about her future with Team Bartowski. NOW COMPLETE
1. The Sleeper Awakens

I do not own _Chuck_. There. That's out of the way.

This is a sequel to my previous fic, 'Chuck versus a Normal Life.' Thank you to all those who read and reviewed the previous story and encouraged me to write the sequel I mentioned in my notes at the end. For all of you, here it is:

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CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 1

The Sleeper Awakens

Chuck clawed his way slowly awake, as if fighting his way through a layer of gauze. As he neared consciousness, he became aware of another presence, a certain pressure resolving into the feeling of a head resting on his left arm. As his cognizance grew, he began to feel soft hair draped over his arm, tickling his skin. It felt nice. 'I wonder who that is?' he thought. 'Who is in my room?'

At the feeling of Chuck stirring, Sarah woke up. As a trained agent, she had the ability to come instantly awake if necessary. She sat up, stretched, and reached over to caress Chuck's shoulder. "Good morning, sleepy head," she said softly.

Chuck blinked, yawned, and turned to look at Sarah. His throat was still raspy from the breathing tube and lack of use. "Sarah?" he asked. "What are you doing here?" He blinked some more and then looked around. "Where am I?"

Sarah frowned. "You're in the hospital Chuck, don't you remember?"

"I… No. What… What am I doing here?" he asked.

"You were hurt," Sarah said. "Shot. And then you fell and hit your head. Don't you remember?"

Chuck creased his eyebrows and tried to concentrate. "Shot? No. I… I was shot?"

"Yes, Chuck," Sarah said. "This is very important. If anyone asks, you need to say that we were robbed and you saved me from a mugger. You can't tell anyone we were on a mission."

"Mugger?" Chuck asked. "Mission? We were on a mission?"

"Yes," Sarah said. "Don't you remember?"

Chuck looked confused. "No. I… No. How did I get shot?"

'_You were a brave, selfless hero who did what no one has ever done for me before_,' Sarah thought. '_You threw yourself in front of a bullet to save my life_.' But she couldn't tell him that. The agent in her was still too strong. "You did a very foolish thing, Chuck," she said softly. "The North Korean agent shot at me and you jumped in front of the bullet. You're the Intersect; I'm your handler. It's my job to protect you, not the other way around." She knew she should be sterner with him. The Intersect couldn't go around sacrificing himself for a mere agent. He needed to understand that. But the words came out hollowly, as if she was reciting from the CIA Asset/Handler Handbook. She knew she had to make him understand that what he did was wrong, but it was hard to be harsh with the man who had been willing to sacrifice himself to save her life. Maybe Casey should be the one to broach this topic. He could do a much better job. In fact, he would probably enjoy explaining it all to Chuck in excruciating detail. Okay, maybe that could wait until Chuck was feeling better.

"I… I don't remember," Chuck said.

"That's normal," Sarah said. She had dealt with enough injured agents to know a little something about post-traumatic amnesia. Some people never remembered the events leading up to their injuries. "You can tell people that. That you don't remember what happened. What's the last thing you do remember?"

Chuck closed his eyes and furrowed his brow, as if in deep concentration. "I… It's all kind of fuzzy. I remember being at work. And then Casey… No. Maybe it was you… The Castle…" He let out a breath and shook his head, then rubbed his forehead. "I… I can't."

Sarah patted his arm. "It's okay. Don't try to remember. It'll be okay."

"Where's Ellie?" Chuck asked. "When can I see her? I can't believe she hasn't come to see me."

"Chuck, Ellie has been here every day. You saw her, and Devon, and Morgan, and Anna last night. They were all here."

"They were here?" Chuck asked. "I…" He stopped and furrowed his brow. "I'm thirsty," he finally said.

Sarah reached over to the tray and got the cup with the straw and held it up so he could take a drink. "Here you go," she said.

Chuck took a drink, then licked his parched lips and took another. He nodded and Sarah took the cup away. "How long have you been here?" he asked.

Every day Chuck had been in his coma, Sarah had been by his side, only leaving when Casey or Ellie forced her to go home, or more often, to Ellie and Devon's to eat and freshen up. But now that Chuck was awake, the distance between Asset and Handler was beginning to reassert itself. It was automatic, ingrained in her after the almost two years of Operation Bartowski. "Casey or I have watched you the whole time you were unconscious," Sarah said, avoiding a direct answer. "We have your room and the corridor monitored."

"Uh huh," Chuck said. Was that disappointment Sarah noted in his voice, or was she simply projecting what she wanted to hear?

"All your friends stopped by almost every day," she said, changing the subject. "And you've received a lot of cards and flowers, see?" She pointed to the ledge in front of the window of his room which was covered with cards and flowers, many of which were starting to droop a little after being there so long. "And Morgan said he was going to bring your X-Box by today now that you're awake so you have something to do."

"Great," Chuck said, half-heartedly. "That's great."

"How are you feeling?" Sarah asked.

"My shoulder itches," Chuck said, reaching up to scratch only to encounter a large bandage covering his shoulder.

"That's where you were shot," Sarah said. "Itching is good. It means it's healing." She didn't know if that was true, but she remembered her father telling her that.

"I have a bit of a headache," he said. "And I'm kind of tired."

"We have an appointment with Doctor Parker today, now that you're awake," Sarah said. "She's the neurologist assigned to your case. She's the best there is. The CIA arranged for her to come in to monitor your case."

"Well," Chuck said. "That was nice of them."

"Don't worry," Sarah said. "General Beckman arranged for everything. The CIA will take good care of you, Chuck." She stifled a frown. That was a lie, and she was not sure why she didn't tell Chuck the truth. Actually, General Beckman had been willing to terminate Operation Bartowski, assign a low-level agent to monitor Chuck remotely, and write Chuck off. Sarah (and, surprisingly, Casey) had badgered General Beckman to get Chuck the best care possible. It had finally been Casey's argument that Chuck was, in effect, a soldier and the nation had a solemn responsibility to its soldiers injured in the line of duty that had carried the day. That and the fact that two major operations had gone sour since Chuck's 'accident' without the Intersect there to provide the timely intel necessary to successfully complete the mission.

"The CIA," Chuck said. "Well, I guess that's good. I'm not sure my Buy More health insurance covers getting shot by enemy agents."

"Mugged," Sarah reminded him.

"Whatever," Chuck said, a little irritated.

The door to the room opened and Ellie and Devon came in, dressed in their scrubs. "Good morning, Sleepyhead," Ellie said, hurrying over to the bed to give Chuck a hug. "You had us pretty worried, you know."

"We're glad you're back, bro," Devon said, slapping Chuck on the shoulder – fortunately the non-injured shoulder.

Sarah stood up and stepped back so as not to get in the way of the Bartowski family reunion. As she watched Ellie and Devon fawn over Chuck, she felt a little stab of jealousy. As long as Chuck had been in his coma, he had been all hers, or so it seemed. Yes, Ellie, Devon, Morgan and the rest had stopped by to check on him and even to spend a little time, but it had been tacitly acknowledged that Sarah was nurse, guardian and protector. Now, she realized, she would go back to being just the cover girlfriend and everyone else would once again claim a piece of him. She felt guilty for feeling that way, and that simply made her feel worse. After all, she already felt guilty for Chuck being injured in the first place. She had failed in her job. She had failed to protect her asset. More importantly, she had failed to protect _Chuck_.

"You know," she heard Ellie say, "Sarah has been here every day. All day. We had to practically drag her out of your room to take a little break. I even had them bring up a cot because she insisted on sleeping here with you."

"Oh really?" Chuck said and glanced over at Sarah, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

Sarah felt herself flush and knew she was blushing. Blushing! She was an agent! She didn't blush. "I… It was the least I could do for the man who saved my life," she finally managed to stammer.

"Protecting your woman, Chuck," Devon said. "That's awesome."

"No, it was foolish, "Ellie said. "I can't believe you did that, Chuck. It was a very brave thing to do, but you should have simply let him have the money."

Sarah took a step forward. Chuck was a hero. In fact, he was a hero dozens of times over that no one could know about and _no one_ was going to take away the one time they could proclaim Chuck a hero to the world. "I told you before, Ellie," Sarah said. "It was my fault. I didn't want to give him my purse. If it wasn't for Chuck, he would have shot me. Chuck really is a hero."

Ellie smiled. "Okay," she relented. She gave Chuck another hug. "My brave brother."

"I… I really don't remember," Chuck admitted.

"That's normal," Ellie said. "It's called post-traumatic amnesia. You may never remember what happened that day."

"He also doesn't remember you stopping by last night," Sarah interjected.

Ellie looked at her and then frowned and looked back at Chuck. "You don't remember Devon, Morgan, Anna and I being here last night?" she asked.

"No," Chuck admitted.

"Well, that's normal," Devon said thoughtfully. "Nothing to worry about. After you've had a head injury, sometimes your memory is a little spotty. I'm sure Doctor Parker will talk to you about all of that this afternoon."

"I have a bit of a headache, too," Chuck said. "Can you have them give me something?"

"I'll talk to the nurses about getting you a little something," Ellie said.

"Um, that may not be such a good idea, Babe," Devon said. "I think we should wait and let Doctor Parker prescribe anything. After all, he's her patient."

Ellie gave Devon an irritated look, but then shrugged and her expression softened. "You're right, Devon." She turned and looked at Chuck. "I'd be upset if another doctor prescribed something for one of my patients, even if they were family. I'll give Andi – Doctor Parker – a call and see what you can have. Other than that, how are you feeling?"

Chuck sighed. "Tired," he said. "Even though I slept all night. At least I think I did. And a little edgy."

"Well, make sure you tell Doctor Parker all of that when you see her this afternoon. I'm not sure how we managed to get her on your case, but she's the best neurologist in LA." Chuck avoided looking over at Sarah and smiled. After the little revelation about her staying in his room while he was unconscious, he was beginning to suspect that she had a little something to do with the CIA's 'taking care of him' as well.

The door opened and Morgan came in, loaded down like a pack mule. "Hey, buddy," he said. "Now that you're back among the living, I brought you a few things to pass the time." He began cataloguing his inventory as he dropped things on the end of the bed. "We've got your X-Box. I'm not sure if we can run the Wi-Fi here so you can do online play but Anna said she's check that out. We've got a portable DVD player and the complete series of Babylon Five. I know you were saying you didn't have time to watch it and now you've got the opportunity. I've got the PSP. Some munchies. Oh, and Jeff threw in some DVD's he burned. You may want to really burn those yourself. I'm not sure what's on them." Now unloaded he looked at Chuck and smiled. "Looking a little pasty, there, but it's good to see those baby browns. How are you feeling?"

The infectiousness that was Morgan spread throughout the room and they all smiled. Devon looked down at his watch. "Sorry, Chuck, I've got a procedure in ten. I'll check on you later, bro, okay?"

"Sure, Devon," Chuck said. "Thanks for stopping by."

Since Chuck didn't remember the visit from last night, they spent the next hour and a half regaling him with stories about what had been happening, especially at the Buy More, while he had been out. Sarah sat back and watched from the other side of the room, feeling at once both part of and apart from Chuck and his extended family. Finally, Chuck started to yawn and Ellie suggested they all leave and let Chuck rest. Sarah wanted to protest and stay, but Ellie shooed her out into the hallway.

"You know," Ellie said once they were outside Chuck's room. "I don't think I've told you before, but I am so grateful for all that you've done for Chuck."

Sarah simply shrugged. "I really didn't do anything," she said. "I just sat with him."

"I know that means a lot to him," Ellie said. "And to me, too. I don't know a lot of girlfriends who would have stayed like that."

"He saved my life," Sarah said. "It was the very least I could do. And…" 'And I love him and I can't imagine not being with him,' she wanted to add, but the 'Agent' part of her wouldn't let her admit that out loud, even now. "And he's a very, very special man."

"That he is," Ellie said. "And it's still going to be difficult for awhile. In some ways, his recovery is going to be even harder than when he was in a coma. I just want you to be prepared for that."

"I'm not going anywhere," Sarah said, and she hoped it was true. Unfortunately, she suspected it might not be. When the CIA had tried to reassign her while Chuck was in a coma, she had balked and taken an 'indefinite leave of absence.' She knew they only granted it because, first, it was standard procedure to allow some downtime for an agent who had lost her asset so she could 'get her head back in the game' and, second, they weren't concerned with her ability to protect the asset so long as they thought the asset wasn't going to recover. Now that Chuck was awake, they would no doubt reassess the situation. She had allowed her asset to be injured. Worse, her asset had been injured protecting her. In her grief and guilt after the incident, she had been foolish enough to admit that fact, something even Casey had conveniently omitted from his official report. Her record so far would keep her from being canned, but she was no doubt looking at a series of low-level, back-water assignments for awhile until she could prove herself again. Unfortunately, while she desperately did not want to leave Chuck, especially now, the rational part of her told her that she had obviously hopelessly compromised her mission and it would be better if another agent took her place.

She looked at Ellie to see Ellie studying her thoughtfully. Evidently her musings were evident on her face. "You can't blame yourself," Ellie said. "I know you are. I can see it. I told you before, Chuck loves you and he would do anything for you. I know he's glad that it's him lying in that bed instead of you."

She reached out and gave Sarah a hug. "I know that you and Chuck have, as you keep telling me, a 'complicated' relationship. I don't pretend to understand. But I want you to always remember, no matter what, you are now part of this family."

Sarah tried hard to stay professional. To stay the cool, aloof agent. But her damn eyes wouldn't cooperate and they filled with tears. She pulled Ellie into a fierce hug.

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While Chuck was sleeping, Sarah took the opportunity to go shower and change. She knew that she should also take the opportunity to stop by the Castle and report in to General Beckman now that Chuck was awake, but she couldn't bring herself to do it just yet. She feared an immediate reassignment or at least removal from the mission and she simply wasn't ready for that confrontation. She knew she was falling into one of the worst traps a agent could: ignoring a bad situation and hoping it would just go away. But after all that had happened, she just wasn't emotionally ready to deal with General Beckman. She would let herself revel in Chuck's recovery for at least one more day before the inevitable confrontation with her bosses.

She had just finished dressing when there was a knock at the door. She frowned. No one except Chuck stopped by her hotel (except, once, her father and since he was on the lam she wasn't counting on seeing him any time soon). She checked her pistol and went to check the door. She blinked in surprise. It was John Casey. Other than the Rajiv Amad case, she couldn't think of another time Casey had stopped by her hotel.

She slid the gun in the back of her pants, but kept her right hand close, just in case, and opened the door.

"Walker," Casey said and simply pushed past her into the room.

"Hello, Casey, come on in," she said sarcastically.

"You know, you really did screw the pooch on this one, Walker."

Same old blunt Casey. "Don't you think I know that? I told Chuck to get down, but he…"

"I'm not talking about that," he cut her off. "We need to chain him to the car so he'll stay. I mean why the hell did you tell Beckman that Chuck got shot trying to protect you? Now both our asses are on the line."

Sarah sighed. So much for avoiding the inevitable fallout. "I wasn't thinking straight," she said. "I… I'm sorry, Casey."

"Sorry don't feed the bulldog," Casey said. "_You_ need to fix this." Without another word, he turned and stormed out of the room.

"Well," she sighed. "At least he waited until Chuck woke up."

She shook her head and went into the bathroom. She looked, frankly, like shit. Stress, fatigue, lack of exercise, and lack of proper nutrition had taken their toll. She was gaunt and hollow-cheeked and there were dark circles under her eyes. Now that the long vigil waiting for Chuck to awaken was over, she felt completely drained. She felt tears welling up in her eyes again and angrily brushed them away. What happened to the tough-as-nails agent that she used to be? How did she let herself fall so far?

With another sigh, she picked up her concealer and began to apply it to the dark circles under her eyes.

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Chuck was awake and had a tray of food in front of him when she arrived back at the hospital. A quick glance told her that he had merely picked at the food. She sat down next to the bed. "You have to eat something, Chuck," she said. "You're going to need your strength."

He smiled. "Well, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black," he said. "Ellie stopped by to get me to encourage you to start taking better care of yourself. Look at you. You're skin and bones. You can't be a kick-ass ninja assassin on an empty stomach."

She smiled at him. His voice was still a little slurred and he tended to pause before certain words, but it was good to have Chuck back. God, how she had missed their playful banter.

He reached over and took her hand. "Promise me that you'll take some time for yourself," he said. "Get some decent rest. Start working out again. I appreciate all that you've done for me, but now it's time for a little Sarah time."

Sarah felt herself blushing at his words. It was so like Chuck. Here he was still lying in bed with a bullet hole in his shoulder and less than 24 hours out of a coma and he was worrying about her.

"I promise," she said. She felt like she should pull her hand away, to start to re-establish the professional distance, but couldn't force herself to do it. "Isn't it about time for your appointment with Doctor Parker?"

"Yeah," he said. "The nurse's assistant y stopped by to tell me that she would be by…"

The door to the room opened and a striking middle-aged woman in an expensive suit and a white lab-coat stepped into the room.

"…right about now," Chuck continued with an ironic smile.

Sarah stood and faced the newcomer. She suddenly felt very self-conscious about her appearance in the presence of this very attractive doctor.

"Good afternoon, Mister Bartowski," the woman said. "I'm Doctor Andrea Parker. I'm the neurologist assigned to your case." She turned to Sarah. "And you must be Agent Walker." At a startled look from Sarah, Doctor Parker said, "Diane Beckman sent me a copy of Mr. Bartowski's file. I was called in as a consultant after Mr. Bartowski received the Intersect as to how the stored data would affect his neurological function." She turned back to Chuck. "I must say, you are a remarkable young man."

"Thank you, Doctor," Chuck said.

"Please, call me 'Andi,'" the woman said. "After spending so much time reviewing your case and talking with your delightful sister, I feel like we're old friends. Well, let's take a look at you, shall we?"

She conducted a thorough physical examination. Sarah moved to excuse herself at the beginning, but Dr. Parker insisted that she stay. "Protocol requires that an agent be present for my examinations," Dr. Parker explained. "Something to do with a Dr. Zarnow."

After her physical examination and after asking Chuck a series of questions, Dr. Parker pulled up a stool to sit down next to the bed.

"Well, Mr. Bartowski," she said.

"Please, call me Chuck," he replied.

She smiled. "Very well, Chuck. All in all, you're doing pretty well. Your cognitive function is excellent for someone less than 24 hours out of a coma, and your motor skills are in the acceptable range. The post-traumatic amnesia is normal and not something to worry about unless the short-term memory loss does not resolve itself. As for the events leading up to your injury, you may never recover those memories, and I don't want you to be concerned about that."

"The next few weeks may be very difficult for you. I've come up with a regimen of speech therapy, physical therapy and occupational therapy. We would like to move you to a special secure facility approved by the NSA."

At the mention of an 'NSA secure facility,' Chuck grew agitated. "I am not going to a bunker," Chuck said angrily.

Dr. Parker frowned. "Bunker? No. This is a facility here in Los Angeles we use for treatment of sensitive and high-profile patients. It's not a bunker. We can just monitor access much more closely that at, say, a nursing home or standard rehabilitation facility. Your family and friends will be able to visit you, provided we are able to properly verify their security status. I certainly wouldn't call it a 'bunker.'"

"When Chuck first received the Intersect," Sarah explained, "The NSA threatened to lock him in bunker… for his safety."

"How barbaric," Dr. Parker said. She shook her head. "The CIA has arranged for you to be classified as a research test subject, which is the explanation for all your bills being paid and for why you are at such an exclusive facility."

"So I'm a guinea pig?" Chuck asked.

"Mr. Bartowski… Chuck… You've been a guinea pig since the moment that you received the Intersect. No one has ever had such a volume of data downloaded into their brains. Frankly, it was not anticipated that anyone ever would. As I understand it, the whole idea behind image encoding was that an agent would review the encoded image relevant to their particular mission, not that anyone would see every image from the entire Intersect Database."

"Be that as it may, your recovery regimen will follow a standard therapy schedule for head injury cases of your type. We will simply also be monitoring you for how the injury has affected the Intersect data and your ability to… what is it you call it… flash?"

Chuck nodded. "Flash," he confirmed.

Dr. Parker nodded and continued. "Now, I have reviewed your MRI and CAT scans. There is currently an area of scarring… a brain lesion… that we are going to have to monitor. We're hoping that it will resolve itself over time, but brain injuries are still an area we don't know everything about. It's impossible to study brain lesions and the like without causing more harm by the invasiveness of the procedure to study the abnormality."

"Now, I want to go over what you can expect over the next several weeks or months. You may experience headaches; trouble remembering, concentrating, or making decisions; fatigue or a general feeling of tiredness; feelings of anxiety, listlessness or sadness; and irritability. We will be monitoring for more severe reactions such as seizures, which are possible in cases such as yours, but I wouldn't concern yourself over the possibility."

They spent the next several minutes talking over the specifics of the treatment until Chuck started to yawn again.

"Am I boring you, Chuck?" Dr. Parker asked. "No, no, don't worry, neurologist humor. It's actually very common for patients waking up from a coma to need a lot of sleep. As long as we monitor you closely for any sign of relapse, we should be okay."

Sarah and Dr. Parker left the room to allow Chuck to rest, and stopped in the hallway to talk.

"I wanted to talk to you privately, Agent Walker," Dr. Parker said. "Two potential side effects of brain damage are emotional instability and personality changes. Since we, meaning the therapy team, do not have a baseline it is impossible for us to monitor for these symptoms. We therefore are going to rely on you and Ellie – Doctor Bartowski – to let us know if you see signs of changes in his personality or emotional stability."

Sarah nodded. "I will, doctor."

"Good. Now, let's talk about you."

"Me?" Sarah asked, startled.

"The role of caregiver for a brain trauma patient, which is a role Ellie has informed me that you have taken upon yourself, is very difficult. First of all, it's emotionally and physically draining. The patient has a tendency to lash out at their caregiver in their frustration over the course or progress of their treatment. It can be an extremely difficult proposition, especially given the mood swings and irrational irritability of the patient."

"I understand," Sarah said.

"Actually, I don't think you do," Dr. Parker said. "I mean no offense by that, but no one who hasn't gone through this can really understand what they are getting themselves into. You are going to need your own network of family and/or friends to help _you_ through this, as well. You are going to have to force yourself to get proper rest, exercise and nutrition. Especially an agent such as yourself if you are going to keep yourself in proper condition." She looked Sarah over. "Something I can see you haven't been doing." Sarah started to protest, but the words died in her throat. No doubt Drs. Parker and Bartowski had already had long talks about both Chuck _and_ Sarah.

"I… I understand," Sarah said.

"Good, Agent Walker" Dr. Parker said. The kind, caring physician façade was gone and a hard-as-nails NSA asset stood before her. "Because I am going to monitoring you as well as Mr. Bartowski. And I will not hesitate to call your superiors if I believe that you are jeopardizing yourself or Mr. Bartowski's recovery, is that clear?"

"Very clear," Sarah replied.


	2. The Long Road Ahead

So. I had Chapter 2 almost completely finished and I managed to save my blank story template over the top of it. Lost the whole thing. That's the reason for the long delay in updating this story. I had to start completely over. Ah well. To err is human; to really foul things up you need a computer.

So, after a complete (and unintentional) re-write, here is…

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CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 2

The Long Road Ahead

The annoying beep of the alarm startled Sarah awake. She slipped off her sleeping mask and glared at the alarm, then reached under the pillow for her knife. She fingered the handle for a moment, then let it drop. The fact that the alarm clock was a Christmas present from Chuck had saved it – again. She glanced around the room. It seemed odd to be waking up here after so many nights sleeping in Chuck's hospital room. Her hotel room had always seemed rather lonely, but now it seemed worse. She sighed, got out of bed and padded across the room to turn off the alarm; otherwise the damn beeping would only get louder.

Chuck had shooed her out of his hospital room with a mandate to get 'a good night's sleep, a decent meal, and a work-out' before she would be allowed back. Chuck's first physical therapy session was today and she wanted to be there for it, thus the reason the alarm was set for 5:30 a.m. She hoped he appreciated it.

She put on her workout clothes and stepped over to the heavy bag she had hanging in her room. She stretched and was surprised at how tight her muscles were. Then she began her workout. After fifteen minutes, she was sweating, panting and her muscles ached. But she pressed on. After thirty more minutes, her muscles were screaming and she staggered over to collapse on the bed. She had no idea she had let herself get so out of shape. Not enough food, not enough sleep and no exercise had clearly taken their toll. If her CIA trainers could see her now, they would send her for an intensive PT session at the CIA boot camp with all the 'other rookies.'

She forced herself to get up and stretch some more. Her muscles would be screaming tomorrow and she would need a forklift to get out of bed the day after. She stepped into the bathroom and turned on the shower, then stripped out of her workout clothes and stepped into the wonderfully hot stream. The heat of the water helped relax the knots and she breathed in the refreshing steam. She stayed in much longer than normal, allowing the hot water to wash away at least some of the fatigue.

She stepped out of the shower and heard a knock at the door. She pulled on her robe and cinched it tight, then wrapped her hair in a towel. There was another knock at the door, louder. "Room service," a voice called.

Sarah stopped to pick up her pistol and then looked out the keyhole. She recognized the room service waiter. She stuck the pistol in her robe pocket and opened the door. "Good morning, Miss Walker," he said. "You've been gone for awhile." He wheeled in the cart and set up her breakfast on the small table in her room. Sarah quickly glanced out in the hallway to make sure he was alone and then closed the door. The waiter handed her the check and she signed.

"Thank you, Miss Walker. Anything else?"

"No, thank you, James," she said, escorting him out. She noted with a frown that he didn't give her his usual appreciative once over. Did she look that bad?

She stepped over to the mirror and looked at herself. There were still dark circles under her eyes and her face looked gaunt. What did Chuck think of her? Did he realize how bad she looked? She shook her head to chase that thought away. It was that kind of thinking that got them in this mess in the first place.

She sat down to her breakfast of fruit, yogurt and juice. She smiled when she remembered Chuck bringing her chocolate croissants the morning after her father had skipped out on them, explaining that 'they were all out of fruit.' She forced her herself to finish off the breakfast. She rooted through the closet to find a dress that she thought would be particularly flattering and laid it out on the bed. She carefully fixed her hair and applied her makeup, making sure to completely hide the signs that she had not been taking care of herself – like the dark circles and the gaunt cheeks. Fortunately, her CIA courses had included extensive training in using makeup to hide a multitude of sins.

She put on the dress and then stepped in front of the mirror and frowned. She pulled at the waist. The dress hung loosely on her frame. Nothing for that now. She grabbed her purse and headed to the hospital.

********************************

"Good morning, Mr. Bartowski," the much-too-chipper-for-this-hour-of-the-morning nurse's aide said as she stepped into Chuck's room and flipped on the light. Chuck groaned and tried to roll over, but the various tubes and wires prevented him from getting far. "What time is it?" he asked.

"Seven a.m.," the nurse's aide said. "I'm Victoria. I've brought you your breakfast. Just yogurt, juice and some mashed banana this morning I'm afraid. But they're going to start weaning you off your I.V. today, so you should be graduating to real food soon." She picked up his chart, checked his pulse and blood pressure and noted them on the chart. "We are so happy that you're finally awake," she said, sticking a thermometer in his mouth. "Everyone just loves Doctor Bartowski and she just wasn't the same while you were 'asleep.'" She noted the temperature and then she eased Chuck forward and fluffed his pillowed, then eased him back down.

She prattled on for awhile while she checked him and his room over. Chuck looked down at his hands. They were shaking from the effort not to tell her to 'just shut the hell up and get out of the room.'

Fortunately, the door opened and Sarah popped her head in. "Good morning," she said. "Up for some company?"

"That depends," Chuck said. "Bed? Breakfast? Bag?"

Sarah smiled at the alliteration. "Yes to all three," she said, entering the room and stooping by the bed to give him a kiss.

Victoria smiled. Everyone in the hospital knew the story of the lovely young girl who refused to leave the side of her comatose lover. It had been all anyone could talk about, although the votes were pretty evenly split at the time between 'beautiful' and 'tragic.' (With a few of the male doctors voting for 'foolish.')

"Is there anything else you need, Mr. Bartowski?" Victoria asked.

"No," Chuck said. Sarah looked at him strangely. His normal response would have been 'call me Chuck.' Or at least 'thank you.' Maybe he was just tired.

"Remember, your physical therapy session is this morning and then Lupe will stop by for your bath."

"Bath?" Chuck asked.

"Sponge bath," Victoria said. Chuck's eyes went wide. Sarah stifled a grin at his expense, and then the thought hit her. Sponge bath? Chuck? Visions of a nubile young brunette in a tight nurse's outfit slowly running a sponge across Chuck's naked body caused her to flush with a combination of embarrassment and jealousy. How dare anyone else give her Chuck a sponge bath!? That should be her job. As soon as this thought entered her head, however, she paled. My God, what was she thinking? Clearly she must be more tired than she thought.

Victoria left the room and Sarah pulled up 'her' chair next to the bed. "So how did you sleep?" she asked, reaching up to brush a stray curl away from his forehead.

"Lousy," he grumbled. "They came in every two hours to check my vitals and then had the nerve to ask how I was sleeping. I came close to telling them what they could do with their blood pressure monitor."

Sarah smiled. "Maybe I could talk to Ellie about it and see if they can ease off on the midnight checks."

"If it was just midnight, it would be alright," Chuck groused. He looked up, "Speak of the devil and she appears."

Sarah looked over and Ellie, looking beautiful as always even though dressed in simple blue scrubs, had poked her head in the room. "No hanky-panky going on in here, is there?"

"Good morning, Ellie," Sarah said, and stood to give Chuck's sister a hug.

"Morning," Chuck grumbled.

"What's with him?" Ellie asked.

"He says that they won't let him sleep. They stop in every two hours to take his vitals."

Ellie smiled. "I know it seems that way," she said. "They're just trying to make sure you don't have a relapse, little brother." She looked over at Sarah. "I love that dress. Is that new?"

"No," Sarah said. She felt suddenly self-conscious about the way the dress hung so loosely on her. "Just something I pulled out of the back of my closet." She pulled at the waist. "It doesn't fit very well, does it?"

"Well, you've lost a lot of weight. You haven't been taking care of yourself."

"That's what I told her," Chuck piped in. "I made her go home last night and get a decent night's sleep."

"But I tossed and turned all night," Sarah said. "I'm not used to that bed. I think I got used to sleeping here," she hinted.

"Oh, come on," Chuck said. "It has to be better than trying to sleep here with all the commotion and the beeping."

"I kind of got used to it," Sarah hinted again. "It seemed weird to be in my room. It was so quiet."

Chuck didn't take the hint. "Well, I'll be happy to be back in my room," he said, "provided Ellie and Awesome haven't rented it out by now."

"Just like you left it," Ellie said. "Well, except for all the dirty clothes on the floor of the closet and all the dust. I took care of those."

Chuck gave her a lopsided smile.

Ellie looked at her watch. "Well, I've got rounds. I'll stop by later, Chuck, to see how the PT session went."

"Potty training?" Chuck asked.

"Physical therapy," Ellie said, slapping him on the arm. "Though potty training will come later. I think they cover that in occupational therapy." She gave Sarah a kiss on the cheek and hurried out of the room.

"She was kidding, right?" Chuck asked. "Tell me she was kidding."

Sarah just shrugged. "Time to eat," she said. I ate all my breakfast, so be a good boy and eat all yours." Sarah watched Chuck eat. He yawned as she cleared the tray away. "Why don't you rest until the physical therapist arrives?" she asked.

"Okay," Chuck yawned. He laid his head back on the pillow and was quickly asleep. Sarah sat down in her chair and laid her hand on Chuck's arm. She stared at the morning news show on the television, but really wasn't watching it.

***********************************

Sarah was startled awake by the door to the room opening. She blinked in surprise. Her spycraft had atrophied as much as her muscles. How was she going to protect Chuck if she fell asleep on the job?

A pleasant-looking middle-aged woman with short, dark hair entered the room. "Good morning," she said. "I'm Diana Moore, the physical therapist."

"Wha? Huh?" Chuck asked, coming awake. "If you guys stick another thermometer in me, I swear I'll bite it off."

The physical therapist smiled. "Good morning, Mr. Bartowski. I'm Diana Moore. I'm your physical therapist."

"Please," Chuck said. "It's Chuck."

"And I'm Diana," she said, coming over to stand next to the bed.

"Sarah Walker," Sarah interjected. "I'm his girlfriend." She winced. Why did she feel the need to add that?

"How are we feeling this morning?" Diana asked.

"I don't know about you," Chuck said, "but I'm tired."

"I think the yawning gave that away," she said. "That's normal in head trauma cases. It will take awhile until you are back to your normal sleep pattern." She pulled down his blanket and sheets and ran her hands over his arms and legs. "You still have some pretty good muscle tone," she said. "The hospital staff moved your arms and legs while you were comatose to prevent atrophy as much as possible."

"I helped," Sarah piped in, and immediately regretted it. How lame did that sound?

"Good," the therapist said. Sarah analyzed her tone for any hint of condescension and couldn't detect any.

"Now, we are going to start slow, Mr. Bartowski… Chuck. Today, let's try sitting up on the side of the bed. I know that doesn't sound like much, and if you're doing really well, we might try a little more. But you've been lying there a long time and I think you'll be surprised at how taxing this might be."

"Should I leave?" Sarah asked, hoping the answer would be 'no.'

"It's all right. You can stay," Diana said. "He's a big guy and you can help me if he needs steadying." She reached behind him and gently eased him into a sitting position.

"Whoa, head rush," Chuck said.

"That's normal," Diana said. "Your body isn't used to having to pump blood into your head when you're upright. Just sit there a moment and let me know when the dizziness passes."

Chuck took a deep breath. "Okay, it's gone."

Diana came around the bed and slowly eased his legs over until they were dangling off the side of the bed. Chuck sat there a moment, and then seemed to swoon for a moment. He reached out to steady himself and winced when he put weight on his injured right arm.

"Oh," Sarah said, and immediately reached over to ease him back into the bed. "Here you go," she said.

Diana glared at her. "Miss Walker," she said. "May I speak to you in the hall for a moment?"

Diana strode out of the room and Sarah slunk after her like a teenager just caught throwing spitballs. As soon as the door closed, Diana looked at her. Gone was the pleasant smile. "Miss Walker, if you are going to continue to attend my physical therapy sessions, you will, in the future, refrain from undermining me. _I_ will determine the course of treatment. _I_ will decide when the patient needs to stop. Is that clear?"

"But he was in pain," Sarah said. She hated to be chewed out, especially when she knew she was in the wrong.

"And he will experience a lot more pain before he is fully recovered," Diana said. "Especially when he starts range of motion therapy for his arm. It will be necessary for him to push himself and I will push him as hard as necessary for him to fully recover as quickly as possible. If you coddle him, it will only prolong the therapy and make it more painful in the long run. Do you understand?"

Sarah nodded.

"Good," Diana said and turned and walked back in the room. Sarah did something she hadn't done since she was a little girl. She stuck her tongue out at Diana's back. Somehow, that made her feel better.

When she reentered the room, Diana already had Chuck sitting on the side of the bed again. Chuck looked over at her and smiled. "Look ma," he said, holding his arms up, although he couldn't lift the right one very far, "no hands."

"Very good, Chuck," Sarah said, offering him a smile.

The therapist was closely watching Chuck, as well as the monitors. "How about we let you lay back down?" she said.

"Are you sure?" he asked, panting. "All I've done is sit on the edge of the bed."

"As I said," Diana said. "We don't want to push too hard. That can impede your progress as much as going too slowly." She eased him back into the bed. "It's amazing how hard just sitting on the edge of the bed can be, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I suppose," Chuck said. Clearly he was hoping to simply jump out of bed and race down the hallway and out of the hospital.

"You did very well for your first session, Chuck," Diana said. "I think tomorrow we may work on standing up."

"Great," Chuck muttered.

Sarah started to say something but Diana motioned her to silence. "You really did do well, Chuck," she said. "Now try and rest. The first session can be taxing. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thank you, Diana," Sarah said when Chuck didn't say anything, but instead settled into his pillow and closed his eyes.

Chuck soon fell asleep and Sarah went back to staring at the television. This time, however, she willed herself to stay awake.

A little while later, the door to the room opened and a very pretty young Filipina entered. "Good morning," she said. "I'm Guadalupe de la Cruz. I am here to give Mr. Bartowski his bath." At least, Sarah thought, she's wearing scrubs and not a tight nurse's outfit.

Sarah stood quickly. "Um, hello," she said. "I'm Sarah. Chuck's _girlfriend_." She winced. She was doing it again. When did she get so territorial with regard to Chuck?

"It is nice to meet you," Guadalupe said in her pleasant accent.

Sarah leaned over and touched Chuck on the arm. "Sweetie, the nurse's aide is here. Wake up, sleepyhead."

Chuck blinked awake. "Huh?"

"Good morning, Mr. Bartowski," Guadalupe said. "I am Guadalupe de la Cruz. But you can call me Lupe. I am here to give you a bath."

"You know," Chuck said. "I really haven't been doing all that much. You know, not so dirty and all. I'm sure there are dirtier people on the floor that need a bath more than me."

Lupe smiled and Sarah noted with displeasure that it was a very pretty smile. "Now, Mr. Bartowski, you would not want to get me in trouble, would you? They have told me to give you a bath."

Sarah looked at Chuck hopefully. "If it would make you feel better, I could do it," she offered.

Chuck looked over at her, panic in his eyes. "No!" he shouted, then seemed to realize how loud he had spoken. "I mean, that would be a little weird, you know?"

"Would you like me to at least stay while she does it?" Sarah hinted.

"No. No. It'll be fine. We'll be fine. Won't we Lupe?"

"Of course, Mr. Bartowski. I have lots of experience."

"I'll bet you do," Sarah muttered under her breath.

"What?" Chuck asked.

"Nothing," Sarah said. "Nothing. I'll just go get some coffee."

Sarah stomped out of the room, berating herself the whole way for being jealous. It didn't help that as soon as the door was closed she heard laughter, both male and female, coming from Chuck's room.

She headed down to the hospital cafeteria, bought a cup of coffee, and say down at one of the tables. She just sat staring at the cup.

A few moments later, she heard a boisterous, "Sarah!" and looked up to see Dr. Devon "Captain Awesome" Woodcomb entering the cafeteria. He poured himself a cup of coffee and strode over to her table. "The doctor's lounge was out," he said, holding up the cup. "Mind if I join you?"

"No. Of course," Sarah said, indicating the empty chair across the table. Devon pulled it out, twirled it around, and straddled it backwards. Sarah stifled a smirk. Even the way he sits is 'awesome,' she thought.

"So, Sarah, how's everything?" Devon asked.

"Fine," Sarah said. "Chuck was just getting a bath."

"You know," Devon said, "It's awesome the way you're there for Chuck."

"It's the least I can do," she shrugged.

"No. That's where you're wrong," he said. "See, I've seen a lot of people come through those doors, and I've seen a lot of so-called girlfriends, boyfriends and even husbands and wives who just let their loved one sit alone in their room, day after day. All alone."

"Well," Sarah shrugged. "Chuck wouldn't ever be alone. He has all of you."

"But it means a lot to him that it's you that's here," Devon said. "He loves you, Sarah. You can see it in his eyes." Sarah blushed. She seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. "But now," Devon said, "you have to let some of the rest of us help you out. You can't do it all yourself, Sarah. We want to help. And you need us to help. It's not going to do Chuck any good if you get sick because you're not taking care of yourself." He pointed a finger at her. "You especially need proper nutrition and exercise. Doctor's orders."

Sarah smiled. At first glance, Devon came across as some kind of pretty boy jock who didn't have two brain cells to rub together. But he was constantly surprising her at how deep, and how caring, he really was. Even if he was still an overgrown kid in many ways.

"Yes, doctor," she said. "I got a workout in this morning."

"Awesome," he said. "Some of us doctors have some workout equipment stashed in the basement. It's yours if you ever want to use it."

Sarah smiled. "Thank you, Devon. I may take you up on that."

"Hey, we Bartowski in-laws have to stick together," he said. "Well, gotta run."

He got up and left and it wasn't until he was out the door that she realized the implications of his penultimate comment. Then she glanced over and noticed that his coffee sup was still sitting, full, on the table. "And sneaky, too," she murmured.

She finished her coffee and then wandered back up to Chuck's room. She knew she should take the opportunity to run over the Castle and report in to General Beckman, but she still didn't know what it was that she was going to say to her. How could she explain the Intersect sacrificing himself for her? How could she justify not being reassigned? More importantly, should she even try? Wasn't Chuck better off with a handler he would allow to simply protect him? Except, Sarah rationalized, he probably would have done the same for Casey. That's just who Chuck was. Would it be any different for any handler Chuck had?

She was startled to find herself back in front of Chuck's door. Her musings had carried her through the hospital without even paying attention to where she was going. 'Some spy,' she thought. 'You've even lost your situational awareness. Maybe Chuck needs a new handler just because you're simply not up to the job.'

She heard muffled voices coming out of Chuck's room and strained to hear what they were saying, but couldn't make it out. She opened the door and stepped in to find Casey, dressed in his green Buy More shirt, sitting next to the bed and leaning in so he could speak quietly to Chuck.

"Hi, Casey," Sarah said.

"Walker," Casey acknowledged her with a nod. "I was just asking Bartowski here how he liked his sponge bath. If I had known the nurse's aides looked like that, I might have jumped in front of a bullet myself."

Sarah tried hard not to react, but knew she failed when she saw the smirk on Casey's face. "What's the matter, Walker, don't like anyone else fingering the merchandise."

"I'm right here," Chuck protested.

"So, Agent Casey," Sarah said, switching into agent mode. "Is this a social call or do you have business with the Intersect?"

"Routine debriefing," Casey said. "Since you haven't filed any reports, Beckman wants to know what the Nerd, here, remembers and what he's told anyone about the incident."

"Still right here," Chuck said.

Casey turned to Chuck. "So spill it, Bartowski, what do you remember about the night you got shot?"

Leave it to Casey to be so blunt, Sarah thought.

"I don't remember anything," Chuck said. "The whole day is a blank. I remember going to work, and then it gets kind of fuzzy."

"Is that it?"

"I know I flashed on a GLA employee the day before and we were following him. Agent Walker and I discussed it a little," he said. "She told me that the GLA employee was meeting a North Korean agent to transfer some laser technology. It was the agent that shot me."

"Which wouldn't have happened if you'd stayed in the car," Casey said.

"Maybe there was a good reason I didn't stay in the car," Chuck said irritably. "Have you thought of that?"

"Like what?" Casey asked.

"I can't remember," Chuck mumbled.

"What was that?" Casey growled.

"I don't remember, all right," Chuck said, growing agitated. "But just because I can't remember doesn't mean that there wasn't a good reason."

"Right, Bartowski," Casey said. "Just like there is every other time you don't stay in the car like you're told."

'Well maybe if you were a little better at your job I wouldn't keep having to get out of the car," Chuck said, his tone cold.

Casey gritted his teeth and glared at Chuck. "You know, Bartowski, I just might have to…"

"Enough," Sarah barked. They both looked at her, startled. "You two can grunt at each other and thump your chests when Chuck is better. But this is _not_ the time, _nor_ the place for this."

"We'll discuss your attitude later, Bartowski," Casey said. He stood to leave.

"Wait," Chuck said. Casey turned slowly around, looking as menacing as possible. "The guy who shot me, the North Korean agent. What happened to him? Did you get him?"

"No," Casey said. "Once you went down, you were our top priority. He got away in the confusion. But don't worry. We'll get him."

"See that you do," Chuck said.

"I will," Casey said, "and he'll be spending the rest of his life staring at four grey walls."

"No," Chuck said, his voice flat and emotionless. "I want you to shoot the son of a bitch."

Sarah eyes went wide and she looked over at Casey. Casey had a satisfied smirk on his face.

"With pleasure, Chuck," Casey said. He smiled and strode out of the room.

Sarah couldn't help staring at the person lying in the bed. Who was this? More important. Where was her Chuck?


	3. Questions

Thanks to all for your reviews. As usual, a special thanks to **Poa** for catching the typos in the last chapter.

************************************

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 3

Questions

Left punch, right punch, knee kick. Left punch, left punch, side kick. Sarah worked over the heavy bag in her room. A good, hard workout was her favorite way to get out her frustrations. She wasn't frustrated now. She was scared. Sarah Walker, the big, bad CIA agent was scared as a result of one, short sentence. "I want you to shoot the son of a bitch."

Those words had been uttered not twelve hours before by Charles Bartowski, the kindest, most decent man Sarah had ever known. A man whom she had seen carry a spider outside rather than kill it. A man who felt guilty about killing someone in Call of Duty. A man she suddenly felt like she didn't know.

Left punch, left punch, right punch. Right punch, left punch, side kick. Sarah had tossed and turned all night. The most terrifying thing was, she didn't know what had changed. Doctor Parker had warned her there could be personality changes or emotional instability as a result of Chuck's head injury. The problem was, she didn't know if Chuck's sudden change in attitude was a result of his brain injury – a personality shift – or a as a result of being shot – a change of attitude.

Many an agent had grown hard and calloused after getting shot the first time and facing their own mortality. She never would have expected it of Chuck, however. She wanted to believe, she _needed_ to believe, that Chuck's innermost core was good and decent. That he really was, in his heart of hearts, a kind and gentle soul. If Bryce and the Intersect and the CIA had taken that away from him… No. She didn't want to contemplate that.

Left punch, right punch, pause. Her muscles were screaming. She realized she had no idea how long she had been hitting the bag, but suddenly she barely had the strength to stagger over to her bed and collapse atop it. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She couldn't talk to Ellie about this. What would she say? Your brother wants us to kill the North Korean agent who shot him?

Not Casey, either. Casey wouldn't understand. She had seen the satisfied smirk on Casey's face when Chuck asked him to kill the North Korean agent. Casey would no doubt say, 'The nerd is finally developing a backbone. About time, too.' Sure, Casey had changed from the cold school assassin who had shot Bryce and tried to kill her the night Chuck discovered he was the Intersect. But he was still a killer. He wouldn't understand her concerns. In fact, he might even report them to Beckman as evidence that she was no longer fit to be Chuck's handler.

Doctor Parker! Doctor Parker was NSA, but she was a trained neurologist. One of the best, according to Ellie. She had specifically counseled Sarah to watch for personality changes or emotional instability. Sarah rolled this around in her mind for a few minutes. If she played her cards right, she could parley this into her ticket to staying on the team. To staying near Chuck. If she could convince Doctor Parker that they needed her to provide a litmus test for changes in such a valuable asset – Chuck's Intersect imbedded brain – then Parker would convince Beckman to leave her with Chuck, at least for now.

But Parker worked with the NSA. Would she see Chuck's change in attitude as a bad thing, or a good thing? After all, Chuck's moral compass had come close to compromising missions before. Somehow the phenomenal Bartowski luck had seen them through, but the NSA might prefer an Intersect with fewer scruples.

Sarah struggled off the bed and headed into the shower. She turned it up as hot as she could stand and stood under the soothing water. The heat helped to sooth her aching muscles.

She stepped out of the shower, toweled off, put on her robe, and wrapped her hair. She had restocked the minifridge in her room with fruit, yogurt and juice so she didn't have to call room service.

She chewed on a strawberry and looked out the window and the hazy sunrise. Was she being selfish? Here she was plotting and scheming not only to stay on Team Bartowski, but to get 'her' Chuck back. But should she? Was Chuck better off with a different handler? One he wouldn't put himself at risk for? For that matter, was Chuck better off being harder, less compassionate? Would his apparent new attitude keep him alive longer? Was she simply being selfish in wanting things to simply go back to the way they were?

Sarah hung her head. Her life had been so much simpler B.C. – Before Chuck.

********************************

One of the advantages of being the cover girlfriend of a man who's sister and future brother-in-law were doctors was that Ellie and Devon had wrangled her a parking pass to the doctor's parking lot;. Of course, her Porsche fit right in with all the Lexus, Mercedes, BMW's and the like. In fact, it was Ellie's Prius that stood out amongst the expensive foreign cars.

Sarah's first stop was Chuck's room. She frowned to see that Lupe, the nurse's aide who had given Chuck his bath yesterday, was listed on the whiteboard in his room as his NA for the morning shift. In fact, she was hardly in the room before the pretty Filipina came in carrying Chuck's breakfast tray.

"Good morning, Chuck," Lupe said.

"Good morning, Lupe," Chuck said. "I'm sorry I was so much trouble yesterday."

"It is alright," she said. "Many of the patients are ticklish. Especially the men."

Sarah narrowed her eyes. She made a show of leaning over to give Chuck a big kiss. "Good morning, honey," she said. "How did you sleep last night? Were the nurse's aides mean to you again, keeping you up?"

"No," Chuck said. "Ellie talked to them and they let me sleep. I feel a lot better."

Lupe took his vitals and noted them on his chart. Before she could fluff Chuck's pillow, however, Sarah beat her to it.

She plastered on a smile. "Thank you so much for taking such good care of my boyfriend," she said, sweetly, trying to avoid emphasizing the last word.

"Oh, it is our pleasure," Lupe said. "Mr. Chuck is such a good patient."

Chuck smiled. "Thank you, Lupe."

Lupe gave a little bow and then left. Sarah smiled to see her go.

"How are you feeling?" she asked Chuck.

"I've got a bit of a headache," Chuck complained. "It started coming on yesterday and I thought a good night's sleep would take care of it."

"I'm going to go meet with Doctor Parker," Sarah said. "I'll mention it to her. What time is Diana coming by for your physical therapy session?"

"Sometime between ten and eleven," he said. "It depends on her previous patient."

Chuck looked at Sarah and licked his lips. "Sarah, there's something I've been wanting to tell you."

Sarah felt her heart start to race. She took his hand in hers. "Yes?"

"I really appreciate all that you've done for me," he said. "Ellie said that you sat with me the whole time I was in a coma. That you wouldn't leave. I… I think I knew you were here. I think I could hear you talking to me, feel you touching me. I think it helped a lot with my coming back."

Sarah smiled and squeezed his hand. "It was the least I could do, Chuck," she said. "You saved my life."

"And since I've woken up, you've been here, too. I… I've really enjoyed having you here."

Sarah brushed a stray hair behind her ear and smiled down at him. "And I'm glad I was able to be here for you, Chuck," she said.

"But…" Chuck began, and Sarah's heart immediately dropped into her stomach. 'But?' she thought. 'There's no but. You're glad I was here and you like having me here and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else and I want to spend as much time with you as I can, before…'

"But," Chuck continued. "I know that you have things to do. It's a waste of the country's best agent to have you sitting here in my hospital room, day after day. It was different when I was going on missions with you and Casey. At least then you got to use your spy skills. But there's really no point in you sitting around with me, day after day, while I recover. I don't think Fulcrum is going to be making a move for a brain-damaged former asset lying in a hospital bed."

Sarah was trying hard to keep her shock out of her face. Chuck didn't want her here? He wanted her gone? Did he blame her for his getting shot? Was that it?

"Chuck, I…" she started.

"Hear me out, Sarah. I know this has been hard on you. I can tell that with just one look at you. You haven't been taking care of yourself. Ellie told me that she had to force you to eat something. I don't want to see you like this, Sarah. Clearly being here with me is hard on you, and I don't want you to go through that. Casey has the cameras. You guys can monitor me, or have someone else watch the monitors. I'll be all right."

A sliver of light, a tiny ray of hope wormed its way into Sarah's bleak mood. Was he sending her away because he was worried about her, not because he really didn't want her around? Was he really not mad at her for failing to protect him? Or was he simply sugar coating it to let her down easy?

She let out a long breath she didn't realize she had been holding. She wanted to say, 'Chuck, I stayed because I care about you, not because I'm your handler. I wanted to be with you. I want to be with you. I don't want to be anywhere else.' Instead she let go of his hand and said, "I have to go to meet with Doctor Parker. We can talk about this when I get back."

She turned and fled the room before he could see the tears starting to well up in her eyes.

************************************

Doctor Andrea 'Andi' Parker had been given an office in the hospital. As long as she was detailed here, she saw other patients besides Chuck Bartowski and the hospital administration was thrilled to have her. It added to the reputation of the hospital to have a doctor of Andrea Parker's considerable professional standing in residence.

Andi looked over the brain scans for Chuck Bartowski or, as the NSA called him, 'the Intersect.' This was simply fascinating. To have so much information downloaded into his brain without, up until now, any noticeable side effects or loss of cognitive ability. In fact, she was able to badger General Beckman into giving her access to a vast array of research regarding the Intersect and the attempt to 'download' images directly into agents' brains using encoded images. The research done by Doctor George Fleming at Stanford and Doctor Jonas Zarnow at the NSA had been simply groundbreaking. Of course, there was the pesky problem of agents whose minds had been destroyed by the inability to process the rapid flow of information, but 'you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs.' It seemed Chuck was truly remarkable in his ability to not only retain the Intersect information but to actually act as a surrogate Intersect computer in subconsciously mining the data for patterns and relationships. If she could figure out what made him tick, her future would be assured, not only with the government but with the medical community as a whole. Imagine if she could study Chuck Bartowski and identify other potential candidates for Intersect downloads. She smiled as she imagined an open government checkbook fulfilling her every need.

There was a knock at her door and she looked up. It was that CIA agent, Sarah Walker. She was clearly more than just Chuck Bartowski's handler. One simply didn't show the devotion that this woman showed to Chuck Bartowski without there being something much stronger than a simple handler/asset relationship going on. Perhaps she could use that. What better way to gain Chuck Bartowski's trust than through his handler who was more than a handler?

Andi stood and came around her desk to great Sarah Walker. "Ms. Walker, isn't it?" she asked, as if she hadn't already read and practically memorized Chuck's classified CIA file.

"Yes, Doctor Parker. Thank you for seeing me."

"Please, call me Andi. And may I call you Sarah?" She motioned for Sarah to sit and then took her seat behind her desk.

"Of course," Sarah replied. She leaned in and picked up a pad from Andi's desk. 'Has your office been swept for bugs?' Sarah wrote.

"Of course," Andi answered aloud. "That nice agent Casey stops by each morning to run a sweep." Sarah smiled. 'Nice' and 'Casey' were not words one heard together in a sentence very often. "So what can I do for you, Sarah?" Andi asked.

"I'm worried about Chuck, Charles Bartowski," Sarah said. "You told me to watch for any personality changes or emotional instability."

"Yes," Andi said. "Those can occur in head trauma cases and they would be particularly worrisome for a person of Mr. Bartowski's… particular interest to the government."

Sarah nodded. "You have to understand," Sarah said. "Chuck is not an agent. He has had virtually no training in spycraft. His receipt of the Intersect was something of an accident and since then he has been thrust into a world for which he is neither trained nor, in many ways, emotionally suited."

"What do you mean by that?" Andi asked. "Emotionally suited?"

"As you may know," Sarah explained, "the world of a spy is morally ambiguous, at best. Sometimes you have to do… bad things… in pursuit of the greater good."

Andi saw an opportunity to put the agent a little more at ease. "Just as we doctors sometimes have to, for instance, sacrifice a limb in order to save the life of the patient."

"Exactly," Sarah said, seeming to relax a little. "Chuck has never dealt well with moral ambiguity. For us – we agents, I mean – the world is shades of grey. For Chuck, it is starkly black and white. He is firmly convinced that there is a moral high ground and that the right choice is always the moral choice. In a way, this difference has made him more effective as an agent, as paradoxical as that sounds. In every case, his devotion to his ideals has proven crucial to more than one of our missions."

"Go on," Andi said.

"Yesterday," Sarah said. "Chuck told Casey that he wanted him, Casey, to kill the man who shot him."

"And this is out of character for him?"

"It goes against everything Chuck stands for," Sarah said. "I know that other people might simply think it is a thirst for revenge against the man who shot him, but I don't believe that. I don't think Chuck would simply abandon his principles just because someone hurt him."

"What does Agent Casey think?"

"I haven't mentioned it to him. You have to understand: to Casey, wanting the man who shot you dead is normal. He's always viewed Chuck as a little abnormal for his moralistic views."

"Well, then," Andi said. "I'm going to have to rely heavily on you as my 'barometer' on Chuck's attitudes and opinions and how those have changed. I, unfortunately, do not have a good baseline to evaluate any changes in his behavior. You, Sarah, will have to be my baseline. I would normally use his sister, but it sounds like there is a lot about Chuck's life she doesn't know."

"True," Sarah said. "Chuck has worked very hard to keep 'Spy World' as he calls it apart from his 'real life'."

Dr. Parker turned the large monitor on her desk so that both she and Sarah could see it. "I was studying Chuck's CAT scans and MRI. I am concerned about this area here," she pointed to a large, darker mass in the front of Chuck's brain. "The swelling in this area has not gone down and I am afraid there may be some scarring. It could impede his recovery and may be responsible for his uncharacteristic behavior."

"He also said that he has a headache," Sarah said. "He told me it started yesterday and hasn't gone away."

"We have been weaning him off of the IV including some anti-inflammatories with pain relievers. It could be that he is just now noticing the pain. How did his first physical therapy session go? I haven't read Doctor Moore's report yet."

"All he did was sit on the edge of the bed," Sarah said. "That seemed to tire him."

"Believe it or not, that's normal," Andi said. "I want to keep a close watch on this brain lesion and I want to meet with you on a regular basis to discuss his progress toward returning to normal functioning."

Sarah licked her lips and took a deep breath. Here it was. "I… I don't know if that is going to be possible," Sarah said. "I was Chuck's handler the night that he was shot. It was my responsibility to protect him and I failed. General Beckman ordered my reassignment but I took a leave of absence in order to stay with Chuck until he woke up. I am afraid that now that he's awake that they will end my leave and order me to return to duty."

"Don't worry," Andi said, smiling her best 'trust me I'm a doctor' smile. "I'll talk to Diane. Once I explain that I need you here in order to facilitate the return of the Intersect to full duty, I am sure that she'll allow me to use you… I mean, allow you to help Chuck."

Doctor Parker smiled. This would work out perfectly. She could use Agent Walker to gain Chuck Bartowski's trust. Then she could find out what really made the Intersect tick. Who knows? He might even survive the testing.

***********************************

Sarah walked out of Doctor Parker's office feeling more optimistic than she had since Chuck woke up. If this residual swelling of the brain was responsible for his personality shift (and she said a silent prayer that was what it was), then it might be reversible. The old Chuck might return.

As a bonus, she now had Chuck's neurologist as an ally. An ally she could use against General Beckman and the reassignment order. For that matter, she now had an excuse for staying with Chuck. One even Chuck couldn't argue with.

************************************

"What?" Chuck asked when Sarah told him the 'good news.' "Sarah, you have better, more important things to do than to baby-sit a brain damaged nobody."

Sarah tried to keep her jaw from dropping. She thought Chuck would view the fact that she wouldn't have to be reassigned as great news. Maybe she had been right before. Maybe he did blame her for his getting shot. She tried to keep her voice steady. "Chuck, there is _nothing_ more important than making sure that you get well."

"Because the government needs the Intersect," Chuck said.

"I get it," she said, ignoring his last comment because she couldn't bring herself to admit that wanting Chuck better had _nothing_ to do with the Intersect. "You don't think I can protect you anymore. Fine. I'll talk to General Beckman. I can recommend several top-notch agents that can take over from me for your protection detail." She turned to leave.

"Sarah, wait," Chuck said.

Sarah took a deep breath and steeled herself before she turned around. "Yes, Chuck?"

"Sarah, I…"

The door to the room opened and Diana Moore, the physical therapist walked in. "Good morning, Mr. Bartowski. Ready for our session today?"

Chuck looked at Sarah, but she couldn't read what he was trying to convey with his eyes. "I suppose," he said to the therapist.

Diana once again helped him to the side of the bed and let him sit there for a few minutes, watching the monitors to check that his pulse, blood pressure and oxygen levels remained good. "Okay, Sarah," Diana said. "I want you on Chuck's left. I will take his right. Now, Chuck, we're going to get you to stand up. Sarah and I will be right here for you to make sure you don't fall."

They eased Chuck off the bed. He felt his knees shake and almost buckle, but Sarah and the therapist had a firm grip on him. With a little effort, he managed to stand. He turned and smiled at Sarah. Her grip on his arm was like a vise, but he didn't mind.

Diana slowly let go and nodded at Sarah. Reluctantly, she slowly eased her grip. Chuck's legs were wobbly, but he was standing on his own. "That's great," Diana said. "Excellent, Chuck, excellent."

Chuck managed a proud but wary smile. "So I will be dancing the tango soon?" he asked.

"Maybe this time we can even teach you the boy's part," Sarah teased.

Chuck's knees started to buckle and both Sarah and Diana immediately grabbed him and eased him back down to sit on the edge of the bed. The heart monitor was emitting a rapid "beep, beep, beep" as he took several deep breaths to calm down.

"Just relax, Chuck," Diana said. "I want you to stay sitting there as long as you feel comfortable."

He reached out and took Sarah's hand and she sat down on the bed next to him. She blinked rapidly to prevent the tears that threatened to form in her eyes as she looked at him. "You're going to make it," she whispered. He squeezed her hand.

"Now," Diana said, and they both turned to look at her. "I don't want you trying that on your own. With Ms. Walker's help, you can sit on the edge of the bed, but don't try to stand on your own. Agreed?"

Chuck nodded and Sarah added an emphatic nod of her own. "Tomorrow," Diana said, "we'll try to let you take a few steps. Do you want to try to stand again? Your pulse is back down."

"Sure," Chuck said. Sarah stood and gripped his left arm and Diana took up her station on his right.

"This time," Diana said, "try to stand on your own. Sarah, be prepared to catch him, but don't help him unless he needs it."

It was hard for Sarah to let go of his arm, but reluctantly, she did. Chuck licked his lips, took a deep breath, and slid off the bed. He tottered a little and Sarah lunged for him, but he recovered and slowly straightened his legs. Sarah saw that his hands were shaking and she caught Diana's eye and nodded slightly to indicate his hands. Diana nodded, waited a moment, and then said. "I think that's enough for today, Chuck. Why don't you sit back down?"

Chuck stood there a moment longer and then finally settled back onto the bed. "So that tango may take a little while," he said.

"We'll get you there," Diana said.

Chuck lay back down on the bed and smiled. In a few moments, he was asleep.

*************************************

Morgan stopped by during lunch. Chuck had graduated to jello, mashed potatoes and a fruit smoothie. Morgan turned up his nose at the selections. "Man, buddy, if I had known they were starving you to death I would have stopped at Sbarro and picked you up a Morgan."

"They're slowing reintroducing him to solid food," Sarah explained. The nurse's aide had been kind enough to bring a tray for her and she was sitting next to Chuck, picking at her food. She and Chuck hadn't had the chance to continue their conversation, interrupted by the physical therapist, then Chuck's nap, and now Morgan. As Morgan regaled Chuck with stories of the goings on at the Buy More, Sarah silently brooded.

Finally, Morgan's lunch break (which he managed to stretch to two hours) was over and he headed out to return to work.

Sarah moved Chuck's tray away and stood by the side of his bed. She cleared her throat, buying time for what she had to say next.

"I guess I better go," she said. "I need to report in to General Beckman and make my recommendations for my replacement."

Chuck grabbed her hand. "Wait," he said.

Sarah swallowed the lump in her throat. She didn't trust herself to speak, so she just looked at Chuck, waiting for him to continue.

"Sarah, I…" He took a deep breath. "Do you want to go?" he asked.

"If you want me to," she said.

"That's not what I asked," he said. "I don't want to hold you here if you would rather be somewhere else. If you'd rather go back to being a real spy and not a baby-sitter."

"Is that what this is about?" she asked. "You think I don't want to be here?"

"Do you?" he asked.

"Yes," she said.

"Really?"

She smiled. "Yes, really. Chuck, there isn't anywhere I'd rather be. I'll be here as long as you need me. I promise."


	4. New Digs

Thanks again for all of the reviews. You all have been very supportive and encouraging throughout the writing of all of my fics. It makes it a joy to write for you.

************************************

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 4

New Digs

In the hospital basement, Devon "Captain Awesome" Woodcomb stood over Sarah as she lay on the bench, struggling to push the bar up for just one more rep. "Come on, Sarah," Devon encouraged. "You can do it. Just one more." Sarah's arms shook with the effort as she gritted her teeth and put the last bit of effort into lifting the weight and locking her arms, before letting out her breath in a 'whoosh' and lowering the weight down. Devon would never allow her to just let the weight drop.

She sat up and reached over for a towel to wipe her face. "That was awesome, Sarah," Devon said. "You've come a long way in the last couple days. You can already out bench some of the guys."

Sarah picked up a water bottle and took a drink. "Thanks, Devon. You're a great trainer. I'm going to miss these workouts."

"Well, you can stop by any time," Devon said. "This place," he indicated the basement storage room that had been converted into a workout room by some of the hospital's doctors, "doesn't get much use except the first month or two of the year while everyone is still working on their New Years' resolutions. It's nice to have someone to work out with."

Sarah looked at her watch. "Oh, I gotta run. I need to get cleaned up and up to Chuck's room."

"We're gonna miss having you two here at the hospital," Devon said. "But it looks like a real top-notch facility Chuck's moving to. I'm sure we'll be stopping by as often as we can."

Sarah leaned up and gave Devon a peck on the cheek, something she never would have been comfortable doing before 'the accident.' But Sarah had bonded with both Devon and Ellie in a way that Agent Walker never would have believed possible, or allowed. "I really do appreciate all your help, Devon," she said. "You've been… awesome."

Devon laughed. Sarah headed to the employee locker room in the basement and took a quick shower, changed into a sundress and heels, and slipped on her charm bracelet. She took a moment to admire it. She didn't wear it often. She was afraid to lose it. But for special occasions like today, she wouldn't be without it.

She hurried upstairs to Chuck's floor and saw a crowd gathered in the hallway outside Chuck's door. She recognized many of them as nurses, nurse's aide, candy stripers, technicians and even some of the maintenance staff. Despite his occasional bouts of irritability, Chuck had managed to charm most of the hospital staff while he was here. Two of the maintenance men were wheeling rolling carts covered with flowers and plants out of the room. Behind them came Morgan, laden with Chuck's various electronic accoutrements which Morgan insisted he would not trust anyone else with. Except, of course, Jeff and Lester who trailed behind with various others of Chuck's 'toys'.

"Hi, Sarah," Morgan said. "Big day, huh?"

Sarah smiled at Chuck's best friend. "Yes, Morgan. We're all pretty excited. You have the address for the new facility?"

"Yeah, I programmed the GPS coordinates into my phone," he said. "We'll let Chuck get settled and then bring his stuff by." He turned to Jeff and Lester. "Come on, guys." Jeff looked a little dazed and Sarah wondered if he's been hitting the Nyquil during working hours again. Lester leered at her when she wasn't looking, but when she turned and saw him his expression turned to one of sheer terror and he quickened his pace to put Jeff between Sarah and himself.

Diana Moore, the physical therapist, was in Chuck's room, as were several of his regular duty nurses, nurse's aides, Doctor Andrea Parker and Ellie. Diana was giving Andi Parker a disk with her evaluations of Chuck's physical therapy so far to give to his new physical therapist. Sarah looked over to see Guadalupe de la Cruz giving Chuck a hug. "We will miss you, Mr. Chuck," the pretty little Filipina was saying. Sarah, on the other hand, would not miss having Lupe giving Chuck sponge baths. The woman was becoming much too attached to Chuck to Sarah's thinking. The other nurses and nurse's aides were taking turns telling Chuck goodbye and he was looking decidedly uncomfortable. Chuck generally enjoyed being the center of attention when he could still keep a measure of distance between himself and the crowd, Sarah knew. This was much too intimate a setting for the shy nerd. She could see the beginnings of one of his peevish snaps he seemed to have more and more these days and determined to head it off.

"Is the ambulance ready?" Sarah asked loudly to Doctor Parker.

"It's waiting downstairs," Doctor Parker said. "You're right, Sarah, we should probably get this show on the road." She nodded to Diana who stepped into the corner to pull out a wheelchair.

"Can't I walk?" Chuck whined. "I've been doing pretty well." Indeed, in the last couple of days Chuck had gone from barely able to sit on the side of the bed to being able to shuffle down the hall to the elevators and back.

"I'm sorry, Chuck," Diana said. "Hospital rules. You've got to ride." Diana and Dr. Parker moved to stand on either side of Chuck as he stood and shuffled toward the wheelchair. Sarah hurried over to get behind it so that she could be the one to push Chuck. Chuck sat down and Diana adjusted the footrests so that he could put his feet on them. "We'll miss you, Chuck," she said and took his hands.

Chuck smiled at her. "You been the most pleasant torturer I've ever had," he said. Sarah managed not to wince. Chuck had been joking, of course. He had taken to calling his physical therapy his 'torture sessions' and Diana Moore his 'torturer'. Among those in the room, only Sarah (and possible Doctor Parker – she seemed to have read all Chuck's file) knew that Chuck had, on more than one mission, actually been tortured.

Ellie stooped to give Chuck a hug. "Devon and I will stop by later to see your new digs," she told Chuck. She stepped around the chair and gave Sarah a hug and then a wink. It seemed she had noticed Sarah taking up the position behind Chuck's chair and didn't want to make her give it up.

There were lots of "goodbyes" and 'good lucks" as Sarah wheeled Chuck out of the room and toward the elevator. "The ambulance will take you to Twin Oaks," Doctor Parker told Sarah. "I have to wrap up some things here. I will stop by later to check on Chuck there."

"Thank you," Sarah said. Doctor Parker really had been a Godsend. She took a genuine interest in Chuck's case. Sarah, in their sessions to discuss Chuck's progress, had come to confide in the neurologist more and more. The normally reticent Sarah had found Doctor Parker a good listener. It helped that she was fully briefed on Chuck and the Intersect so Sarah didn't have to be so circumspect around her.

An ambulance was waiting downstairs and the two EMT's helped to transfer Chuck from the wheelchair to a gurney and then lifted him into the ambulance. Sarah climbed inside. Ellie, who had followed them down, handed her a bag of Chuck's things. "We'll see you later," she said. One of the EMT's climbed into the back with Chuck and Sarah while the other closed the back door to the ambulance.

"How are you doing?" Sarah asked Chuck.

"All the attention was a little tiring," Chuck said. "It's not even ten and I could use another nap." He glanced around. "I never could sleep in the car, though." He turned to the EMT. "How long a trip is it?"

The man shrugged. "Depending on traffic, about twenty-five, thirty minutes."

Sarah smiled at Chuck and took his hand.

************************************

The drive to Twin Oaks, the rehabilitation facility chosen by the CIA and NSA, was uneventful. Sarah was sorry that the EMT had to ride in the back with them, because neither she nor Chuck was comfortable speaking in front of him. So they rode in silence for the most part.

At one point, they got stuck in a traffic jam and slowed to a crawl. Sarah noted that Chuck started to grow agitated at the delay. It never would have bothered him before, unless he was in a hurry for some reason, but Sarah noticed that he was much more easily agitated. She had discussed it with Doctor Parker who assured her that it was normal in cases like Chuck's, but to keep an eye on him to see if it got any worse.

Twin Oaks Rehabilitation Hospital was set on seventeen acres of trees and manicured lawns. It looked much more like an executive retreat center than a hospital. Sarah, however, noted that it was surrounded by a high wall topped with sensors and with cameras and motion sensors covering every inch of the walls. The main gate had a guardhouse with an inverted 'ship's prow' shape that would flip any car trying to run into it. The road beside the guardhouse had a quick-release barrier that looked like it could stop a speeding semi. The guard that came out to check on them was unarmed, but Sarah caught sight of a second guard with an AR-15 in a concealed position to cover the first guard. She guessed that there was also a sniper post somewhere nearby covering the gate.

As they drove up the long drive to the front of the facility, Sarah noted that the green, flower-bedecked lawns were likewise studded with ornamental towers that Sarah guessed contained both cameras and sensors.

They pulled up in front of the main facility and Sarah's trained eye could discern that it was blast-resistant, with hardened doors and bullet-proof glass. This was undoubtedly the most secure facility Sarah had been in since her last trip back to Langley. They had done a good job, however, making it _look_ like it wasn't a secure facility.

When the ambulance pulled up in front of the facility, the EMT opened the back door and jumped out. A balding man in a three-piece suit was waiting. He held out his hand to Sarah as she exited the ambulance. "Good morning, Agent Walker. I'm Edward Wheeler, the administrator of Twin Oaks. We've been expecting you and Mr. Bartowski."

Sarah took the man's hand and noted what a limp grip he had. She immediately pegged him as a typical administration bureaucrat. Probably one of those who counted the number of syringes used quarterly and compared it to previous quarters to make sure there wasn't any wastage. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Wheeler."

"Please, call me Edward," he said, flashing her a smile that showed his nicotine stained teeth. She noted also that his gaze strayed down to take in her cleavage. Good. This one would be easy to manipulate.

He motioned to a stunning brunette standing slightly behind him dressed in an expensive business suit that clung suggestively to her ample curves. "This is my assistant, Carol Martin. All of the necessary paperwork has already been taken care of, so she will be showing Mr. Bartowski to his room."

Sarah gave the woman a pleasant smile, although it took a great deal of effort. "Thank you."

Carol held out her hand and Sarah took it. Sarah looked into her eyes and immediately pegged her as a trained agent. The eyes always gave it away, if you knew what to look for. That and the cat-like grace with which she moved. A more experience agent like Sarah learned to hide her training. Carol Martin must be a newer agent.

Carol smiled at the EMTs. They both got that puppy-dog look men got around sexy women. "If you will bring Mr. Bartowski? We have his room waiting."

The EMTs pulled Chuck out of the ambulance and lowered the wheels on his gurney. "Do I have to ride in like this?" Chuck asked. "At least at the hospital I got to ride in a wheelchair."

"Enjoy it while you can, Mr. Bartowski," Carol said, holding out her hand. "This is the last easy day you will get at Twin Oaks. I'm Carol Martin, nice to meet you."

Sarah noted with approval that Chuck wasn't drooling over Ms. Martin like the EMTs had. Instead, he glanced over at Sarah and gave her a slightly worried smile. She patted his hand. "I'll be right here, Chuck."

Carol led the way, with Sarah walking beside her. One of the EMTs came behind them, pushing Chuck's gurney. The Twin Oaks facility was obviously state of the art and incredibly plush. The floors were polished marble and the walls were mahogany.

"A very nice place you have here," Sarah said.

"The facility was built for rehabilitation of agents injured in the field," Carol said. "We also take in a select clientele of celebrity clients in order to keep up the cover of a private, exclusive rehab facility. In fact, we make enough off of the celebrity clients that the facility actually turns a profit for the CIA. It also means that our agents get the very best in not only rehabilitation but other amenities while they are recovering. A win/win all the way around, wouldn't you say?"

"Very impressive," Sarah said. "Almost makes it worth getting injured in the field."

"Yes," Carol said. Sarah had been watching her carefully and this one word was enough to tell her that 'Carol', while trained as a field agent, had yet to be given a field assignment and resented that fact. Sarah suppressed a shudder. If she didn't play her cards right, she could be looking at her very own ghost of assignments future. A low-level, back-water assignment that every agent dreaded. The existence of such assignments, however, served as an incentive for the field agents not to 'screw the pooch.' Sarah wondered who Carol had pissed off to get stuck here in this gilded cage.

They arrived at Chuck's room and Sarah and the EMT helped Chuck off the gurney and into bed. She looked around. The room was plush, looking more like a four-star hotel than a rehabilitation facility. It was hard to completely disguise a hospital bed, however, and Sarah could pick out the various slots and ports on the wall behind the bed into which various medical equipment could be plugged. Still, it beat any hospital room Sarah had ever been in.

The EMT hurried out of the room with a last lustful glance at Ms. Martin. Sarah's ego was a little bruised that the look didn't include her, but she knew that although she was recovering nicely from her self-neglect, she wasn't up to Sarah Walker standards quite yet.

As soon as the EMT left, the door to the room opened and John Casey stepped in. "Hello Agent Casey," Carol said.

Sarah stifled a grin. Carol Martin was smitten with John Casey! She recognized the poorly concealed mix of awe and hero-worship of the brand-new agent for an agency legend like John Casey, even if Casey's reputation was that of a burned-out killer. That appealed to a certain brand of female agent, of which Carol Martin was obviously one. She stood a little straighter and stuck out her ample chest a bit as soon as she saw Casey.

Either Casey was oblivious or he simply didn't care. He seemed to regard Carol as a non-entity. "Walker," he said with a nod. "We've finally got some first-class digs. State of the art security and enough integrated firepower to hold off a company of Taliban." John Casey was never as excited as when he had ample firepower at his disposal. "I've integrated with the center's security chief. I've arranged a satellite feed from the security system here to the Castle so I can monitor from either location."

"And hello to you, too, Casey," Chuck said from the bed.

Casey merely grunted. "We'll do a security overview with the security chief after lunch. Martin, here," he finally deigned to acknowledge the young agent's presence, "can show you where." Carol seemed to glow from the mere fact that Casey had simply acknowledged that she existed. This, thought Sarah, could be very interesting. Finally a chance to needle Casey for a change.

Casey left and Carol followed him out, asking in a breathy voice if there was anything he needed. His response was cut off by the closing door. Sarah turned to Chuck. "It looks like Casey has an admirer," she said.

"You noticed that, too, huh? I wonder what on earth she sees in him."

"It's normal," Sarah said. "New agent, wet behind the ears, is infatuated with the older, more experience agent and everything he represents."

"She's an agent?" Chuck asked.

"A new one," Sarah said, "but field trained."

"Did she tell you that?" Chuck asked.

"She didn't have to. It's pretty clear just from watching her," Sarah said.

"So did you have a crush on any of the older agents, Sarah?" Chuck asked.

Sarah smiled. "A harmless crush, yes, on couple of my teachers at the academy. Nothing serious."

"Good," Chuck said.

Sarah refrained from further comment. "So," she asked. "What do you think of your new digs?"

"Seems to me, it would be hard to get people to focus on rehab," Chuck said. "After all, a guy could get used to a place like this." Went to put his arms behind his head in a 'casual' pose, but winced when he moved his injured right arm too far. "Ouch. Dammit."

Sarah hurried over to the bed. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, just my shoulder," he said. He flexed his right hand a few times, obviously trying to fight off the pain.

Sarah laid a hand on his arm. "You've had a busy morning," she said. "Why don't you get some rest? I'll be right over here." She motioned to the sitting area in the corner of the room.

Chuck opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. Instead he nodded and closed his eyes. He was asleep almost immediately.

***************************************

Doctor Andrea 'Andi' Parker pulled the thumbdrive out of the computer. She had just transferred all the information about Charles Irving Bartowski, the Intersect', onto an NSA supplied secured thumbdrive so she could take it with her to Twin Oaks. Next she pulled out a second NSA supplied thumbdrive and inserted it in the computer. The computer automatically rebooted and then ran a series of automated programs off of the thumbdrive. The computer's memory was completely erased and a special program slagged the hard drive, the ROM chips and even the video memory. The hospital would have to buy a new computer for this office, but no one would ever be able to get any information off of it regarding the Intersect.

She sorted through her paper files and arranged those regarding the patients she had been seeing here at the hospital into neat piles. Andi Parker was compulsively neat and could not bear to leave a messy office behind.

Andi slipped the thumbdrive in her pocket and then locked the office door. She stopped by the hospital administrator's office to drop off the keys and put up with the pleasantries of how much they enjoyed having her there, if she ever wanted a more permanent position, yadda, yadda, yadda. As if she would spend her time at a little regional hospital like this one, especially since now she had the means to enhance her reputation even further.

The drive to Twin Oaks did not take long. The guard at the gate welcomed her and presented her with a 'staff' name badge which would allow her access to most parts of the facility. When she pulled into the staff parking lot, she was pleased to see that they had already reserved her a parking space.

She used her new name badge to unlock the staff entrance and was pleased to see that even the 'back room' parts of the facility were plush. She made some mental notes for when she got the NSA to build her her own research facility.

Her first stop was the administrator's office. Edward Wheeler was an officious little toad, but he served his purposes. As loathsome as he was, Andi made it a point to give him a promising smile and flash a little cleavage. As brilliant as she was, Andi Parker was not above using sex, or at least the promise of sex, to further her aims. And it was clear that this little weasel would be an easy mark for her charms.

Edward Wheeler came out from behind his desk and grasped her hand. "Doctor Parker, it is indeed a pleasure and an honor to have you here at our facility."

Andi noted with disgust that shaking the man's hand was like holding a dead fish – limp, cold and clammy. Still, she turned on the charm. "Please, Mr. Wheeler, call me 'Andi.' And the pleasure is mine. I have heard so much about the fine work that you do here at Twin Oaks. And of course a facility is only as good as the man at the helm."

"You flatter me, Andi," he said. "And please, call me 'Edward.' If there is anything, anything at all you need, you be sure to let me know. We will do all that we can to accommodate your every need."

'Indeed you will, you disgusting toad,' she thought. But she said, "That is so kind of you, Edward. I sent over a list of equipment…"

"Not to worry, not to worry, we have taken care of everything," Wheeler said. "I've seen to it personally."

"If it is not too much trouble, could I see my lab and office?" Andi asked.

"Of course, of course, down to work. If you'll come with me?"

Wheeler showed her down the hall and through several corridors to a plush office that already had a brass nameplate with her name on the door. "We were informed of the sensitive nature of your work and of the need for security, so only your security badge, and mine, of course, can open your office door." Andi looked around the office. It was tastefully decorated with a large mahogany desk, a small conference table and a couch with two wingback chairs set up for more relaxed conferences. One wall of the office had six flat screen monitors.

"This will do nicely," Andi said.

Wheeler smiled, showing his yellow teeth. "Your lab is this way. Your assistant, Doctor Forrest, arrived yesterday and assisted us with getting everything set up to your specifications. This wing of the facility was recently added, so you will have complete privacy. Nothing else had been moved in here yet."

"Excellent," Andi said. "You've been too kind, Edward."

"Well, General Beckman said that we are to give you every assistance," Wheeler said. "But it is a pleasure to do whatever we can. Ah, here we are." He stopped before an unmarked door. "The lab is currently keyed only to you and Doctor Forrest… and me of course, for security reasons." He touched his badge to the door and there was a 'click' as the door unlocked. He opened the door for her.

"Thank you, Edward," she said.

The lab was dazzlingly white and filled with high-tech equipment. A young man in a white lab coat was at a table in the center of the room, frowning at a monitor. He looked up when Andi and the administrator came in. His face brightened when he saw Andi. "Andi! Welcome to your new lab. Isn't this cool?"

Her assistant, Doctor Nathan 'Nate' Forrest, was a bright young man who no doubt would have a bright future; unless, of course, Andi could co-opt his work as her own. He was useful to have around and the fact that he worshiped the ground Andi walked on made it so much easier.

"Lots of new toys for you, Nate," she said. She turned to Wheeler. "Thank you so much, Edward." She took his hand and gave him one of her dazzling smiles. "I am sure Nate can she me the rest of the lab."

"Well, um, if you're sure," Wheeler said, obviously disappointed at being dismissed.

"I'm sure your time is much too valuable to spend playing tour guide," Andi said. Then she turned her back on him to show that he was dismissed. He straightened his shoulders.

"Of course, of course," he said, and left the lab.

"So, our patient has arrived, I assume?" Andi asked.

Nate typed a command into his computer and a video feed of Chuck's room popped onto his monitor. "He got here a little bit ago. Who's that with him?" He touched some keys and the camera panned over to show Sarah Walker sitting on the sofa in Chuck's room, looking over some papers. From his tone, Andi could tell that he was smitten with Agent Walker.

"The patient's CIA handler and girlfriend," she said. She smiled at Nate's slight deflation at that news. "Has he met his therapists yet?"

"Not yet. I think they're letting him rest after the transfer."

"Well, I suppose I should go welcome Mr. Bartowski to our new home."

Chuck's room was a short distance from Andi's office and lab. She knocked on the door and then opened it and entered without waiting for a response. Agent Walker, she noted, was on her feet, hand behind her back, no doubt reaching for the gun she kept there.

Chuck was in bed and blinking himself awake at the disturbance. "Dammit," he said. "Can't a guy get any sleep around here, either?"

"I'm sorry, Chuck," Andi said, soothingly. "I just wanted to make sure you were settled in and comfortable."

"I suppose," Chuck groused. Sarah stepped over the side of the bed and put her hand on Chuck's arm. He glared at her and she pulled it quickly away. "I'm just getting so damn tired of all this," he said.

"Well, this is a state of the art facility and I'm sure they'll have you up and around in no time," Andi said, smiling. "We've made sure you are going to get the very best care possible." She slightly emphasized the 'we.' It was best if Chuck thought she was at least partially responsible for his lush surroundings and impressive care, even if she wasn't.

"I think they're going to be bringing you some lunch soon," Andi said. "Eat up. You're going to need your strength. I want to run some tests later this afternoon."

"What kind of test?" Sarah asked.

"We want to see what, if any, effect his brain damage has hand on the Intersect data in his head. Don't worry, Chuck, we'll take it easy. Nothing too strenuous to start."

"Isn't it kind of soon to be worrying about that?" Sarah asked. "He's barely recovered…"

"Let's get it over with," Chuck said, testily.

"We'll come by to get you about two o'clock," Andi said.

*********************************

After a lunch that would make most gourmet restaurants proud, Chuck was resting again when the door to the room opened. Casey and Sarah, fresh from their meeting with the security chief, entered.

"Still lounging around at taxpayer expense, Bartowski?" Casey asked.

Chuck ignored him. Sarah walked over to the bed and placed a hand on his arm. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Fine," Chuck said without much conviction. He looked at Casey, "So are the security arrangements to your satisfaction?"

"Yeah, I suppose," Casey said.

"Good," Chuck said. "Then leave them to do their job and you go do yours."

Casey narrowed his eyes. "This is my job, Bartowski. Or did that knock on the head cause your brains to leak out your ears?"

"No," Chuck said. "You told me you'd catch the bastard that put me in here. Have you done that yet?"

Casey eyes darkened. "No. We're following some leads."

"Following some leads," Chuck said. "By sitting around on your ass here at Fort Knox?"

"Listen, Bartowski…" Casey said, taking a step toward the bed. Sarah stepped in front of him and whispered, "Remember, Chuck's not himself."

Casey relaxed slightly and took a step back. "Don't worry. I'll get the son of a bitch," Casey said to Chuck.

"Good," Chuck said. "Then get cracking."

Casey bristled, but Sarah hustled him out of the door.

"Bump on the head or not, he keeps that up and I'll finish the job," Casey growled when they were out in the hallway.

"Casey," Sarah said. "He doesn't mean to needle you. Doctor Parker said that irritability is common in recovery from brain damage." Sarah prayed that it was true and not, as could happen, a permanent personality shift. There were flashes of the old Chuck there, but he seemed to be more irritable and more belligerent than ever before. She would have to talk to Andi about it.

Casey simply grunted and walked away.

********************************

At two o'clock, Doctor Parker and her assistant knocked on the door to Chuck's room. "Come in," Chuck called.

Andi and Nate entered the room to find Chuck sitting up in bed with Sarah sitting by his side. She stood when Andi and Nate entered. "Good afternoon, Chuck," Andi said. "How was lunch?"

"Fine, I guess," Chuck said.

"Chuck, this is my assistant, Doctor Nate Forrest. He's going to be helping me with your case."

"Hi," Chuck said.

"Oh, and Sarah Walker," Andi said, indicating Sarah to Nate.

"A pleasure," Sarah said, offering Nate her hand.

Nate grasped her hand and gave her a warm smile. "Oh, the pleasure is all mine."

Sarah heard a snort from behind her and turned to see Chuck eyeing Nate warily.

"Shall we go down to my lab?" Andi asked.

"Sure," Chuck said. Nate pulled up a wheelchair and Sarah helped Chuck struggle to his feet and into it.

"Allow me," Nate said, stepping behind the chair.

"No, I've got it," Sarah said.

She wheeled Chuck down to the hall to Andi's lab. Nate had set up a testing station with various monitoring equipment in front of a large screen. "This will be similar to the test that Doctor Zarnow gave you, although we will be monitoring your brainwave activity and vital signs to make sure that you're perfectly safe throughout the testing.

Nate busied himself with hooking Chuck up to various machines to monitor his pulse, respiration, brainwave activity, pupil reaction and various other biometrics. Chuck was uncomfortably reminded of his ordeal in the Fulcrum lab. Sarah must have sensed this and squatted down by his chair and took his hand. "It'll be okay, Chuck," she said. "I'll be right here."

Once Chuck was all hooked up, Nate nodded to Andi. She took a seat behind her computer and turned on the cameras and monitoring equipment. "Okay, Chuck," she said. "I am going to show you a series of images. You let me know the first thing that comes into your mind when you see them."

"Okay," Chuck said, nervously.

The first image flashed onto the screen before Chuck.

"Polar Bear," he said.

"Beach at sunset."

"Tibetan monk."

"Large sea turtle. Or is that a tortoise? I can never tell."

"Apartment building."

"Are you sure, Chuck?" Andi said. "Look at it closely."

Chuck shrugged. "Apartment building."

"Humming bird."

They ran through numerous more pictures, until Chuck complained that he was getting a headache. "When are you going to show him the Intersect pictures?" Sarah whispered.

"I have," Andi said with a frown. "The last twenty images should have been Intersect triggers, including several that he flashed on with Doctor Zarnow." She looked at Chuck. "He can't access the Intersect anymore."


	5. Paradigm Shift

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 5

Paradigm Shift

Sarah sat by Chuck's bed and watched him sleep. He was restless, muttering and murmuring in his sleep and occasionally tossing and turning. When Chuck was shot, she thought her whole world had changed. But that was nothing compared to the bombshell that had been dropped yesterday afternoon:

Chuck could no longer access the Intersect.

Doctor Parker had stressed that nothing was definitive yet. They had only run a single test. But Chuck had failed to flash on any of the Intersect images, including ones he had flashed on before. It could be that he was simply not sufficiently recovered from his injuries, especially the brain swelling, to allow whatever caused the flashes to occur. But it was also possible that the portion of his brain that either stored the images or processed the date imbedded in the images was damaged. There was a distinct possibility that Chuck would never flash again. That his days of being the Intersect were over.

Sarah should have been overjoyed for Chuck at that news. For so long, indeed from the moment Chuck had become the Intersect, he had been trying to get the Intersect removed from his head so that he could live a 'normal' life. Now, apparently, that might be in reach. If the Intersect data was gone, or if he couldn't access that data, then he was free. He could go back to his normal life, free of the CIA, the NSA, Fulcrum – free of 'Spy World.' And… free of Sarah Walker.

Sarah swallowed a lump in her throat as she remembered the last time Chuck thought he was free. Their 'second first date' that was unfortunately interrupted at the worst possible moment by Mr. Cole, the mercenary for Fulcrum. Back then, she had fully intended to have one last fling with Chuck before being reassigned. But now? So much had happened since then. So much had changed. He had been willing to give his life for her. Could she just walk away, never to see Chuck again? Without the Intersect, there was no need for her and Casey to stay, to protect a simple Buy More Nerd Herd supervisor or whatever life Chuck chose now. She would be reassigned, as she told Chuck once before, 'as far away from here as possible' and prohibited from ever contacting Chuck again.

As happy as she was for Chuck that he might be finally getting his dream, why did she feel so miserable? Part of her hoped that this was all temporary and that after awhile the Intersect in Chuck would come back. And yet she felt guilty for thinking that way. She desperately wanted Chuck to be happy, even if that meant losing him. And yet… And yet…

Chuck stirred and blinked his eyes open. He looked at her groggily. "You didn't stay here all night, did you?"

"They got me a room down the hall," she said. "I've already had a good night's sleep and a workout." That was only partially true. The facility did have a tremendous workout facility and she was still sore from overdoing it this morning in an attempt to work off her frustration. But she definitely hadn't had a good night's sleep. She had actually gotten out of bed several times during the night to come down to Chuck's room, only to stop herself and get back in bed.

"You have breakfast yet?" Chuck asked.

"No," Sarah said.

"Shall we order room service?" Chuck asked. Sarah smiled. That was her Chuck.

Breakfast was delivered a short time later – Eggs Benedict, juice and coffee and an assortment of muffins. "If I stay here too long, I'll blow up like a balloon," Sarah said, nibbling on a muffin.

Chuck set down his fork and looked at Sarah. "How long will you stay?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" Sarah asked. She knew exactly what he meant, but she desperately wanted to avoid discussing the 'elephant in the room.' They had scrupulously avoided talking about it all yesterday evening. The fact that Ellie and Devon had stopped by had helped because it meant that they couldn't discuss the Intersect in front of them.

"You know what I mean," Chuck asked. "I'm not the Intersect anymore. There's no reason for you to stay."

Sarah bit her lower lip and looked at Chuck. He should be happy – ecstatic – that the Intersect was gone and he could get on with his normal life. He had been before. She remembered his goofy grin when Beckman and Graham had informed him that the Beta Intersect was almost online and that Operation Bartowski was coming to an end. He had been excited and ready to get on with his life. Now, he seemed tentative, almost worried.

Sarah lowered her head. She couldn't look at him. "I don't know, Chuck," she said. She looked at him. "At this point, we really don't know anything. Andi – Dr, Parker – said that this could be temporary. You still could regain the Intersect. And we can't take the chance that you'll recover after Casey and I are gone. You still need my… our protection, Chuck."

"But will General Beckman see it that way?" he asked.

"I'll make sure she does. I said I wasn't going anywhere, Chuck. I promise to stay until you're fully recovered." She hoped she was telling the truth. All Beckman had to do was pull her clearance and she would be tossed out of Twin Oaks.

There was a knock at the door. It opened to reveal a very tall woman, rail thin, with brown hair and pale skin. She was quite pretty, in a coltish sort of way. "Hi," she said in a cheerful voice. "I'm Dr. Katie Schultz. I'm your new physical therapist."

"You're a doctor?" Chuck asked. She looked younger than him.

"PhD in Physical Therapy from Rockhurst University in Kansas City," she said. "I get that a lot. If you're uncomfortable with me, we have three other therapists on staff…"

"No," Chuck said. "I'm sure you'll do fine. You're just… not what I expected."

"And you must be Agent Walker," Katie said. "I was told that you're Chuck's handler."

"Yes," Sarah said. "It's nice to meet you."

"I've looked over the reports from Diana Moore," Katie said. "She's very good, by the way, and had nice things to say about you."

"She was great," Chuck said.

"For a torturer?" Katie said.

Chuck laughed. "She put that in her report, did she?"

Katie smiled. "Don't worry. Next to her I'll look like… oh… the Marquis de Sade."

"I feel so much better," Chuck said.

"Seriously," Katie said. "You've made some very good progress since the shooting. I'll be handling your physical therapy. Paige Austin will be handling your occupational therapy. And since Doctor Parker noted just a few lingering problems with your speech, we have Pamela Arnold who's going to do your speech therapy. Now, how about we head down and start your first session?"

Chuck shrugged. "Okay."

***********************************

Sarah wheeled Chuck back to his room at the end of the hour-long session. He was exhausted. When he got back to the room, Sarah had to help him into the bed. "You did a great job, Chuck," she said. "I'm very proud of you."

"Thanks, Sarah," Chuck said.

There was a knock at the door. "Grand Central Station," Chuck muttered. Then louder, "Come in."

"Hey, hey, buddy, livin' large," Morgan said as he came in the door with all Chuck's gear. "This place is awesome! I mean, this is like the Bellagio of rehab hospitals, not that I've ever been to the Bellagio, but this is how I imagine it would be. Nice!"

"Hello, Morgan," Sarah said.

"Ah, the faithful lady attending to her wounded knight," Morgan said. Sarah smiled.

"So, what about this place, huh?" Morgan asked. "Are there, like, any empty rooms down the hall? Because I think Anna would dig this place."

"I think they keep the rooms locked, Morgan," Chuck said.

"Well, can't blame a man for asking," Morgan said. "Big Mike sends his regards. Actually he said, 'Tell Bartowski to get off his ass and get back down here. These wackos are driving me crazy,' but you know the sentiment's there."

"That Big Mike," Chuck said. "Always the sensitive one."

"Oh, and Big Mike made Emmett name you employee of the month. He said you're the one employee who hasn't screwed up all month."

"Well, that's something," Chuck said. "I thought Anna was coming down with you?"

"Another reason we need you back, buddy," Morgan said. "Without you there cracking the whip, Anna's having to work double shifts just to clear the backlog."

"Sorry, Morgan. That's gotta be rough on you."

"Takin' one for the cause, my friend. Takin' one for the cause."

"Oh! Almost forgot. The guys at Quiznos have a new hero sandwich they're calling the Chuck. Not the same Chuck that Lou had on the menu. This is a different Chuck. I tried to tell them that you really didn't strike me as a smoked turkey kind of guy. You were more their prime rib, you know, but they said that they couldn't name the prime rib sandwich the Chuck because people might get confused that the Chuck was made with chuck and not prime rib and I said that was ridiculous. Who was going to make…"

Chuck yawned. "Morgan," Sarah said. "Chuck just finished a therapy session and I think he needs some rest. Do you mind?"

"Of course not. No one has to tell me twice. Ask me to leave and I'm out of here. I'm a ghost. Like the wind. Mariah. Well, that's a girl's name so maybe not Mariah. But, you know, what was that…"

"Morgan," Sarah said again.

"Oh. Sorry. Take it easy, buddy. I'll catch you later, dude."

"Thanks, Morgan," Chuck said.

Morgan left and Sarah said, "You need to rest. They'll bring your lunch in about an hour. Why don't you get some sleep until then? I'm going to go check in. I'll be back."

"Okay," Chuck yawned. He was asleep almost before Sarah got out the door.

Sarah went down to the small office that had been allocated to her and Casey while Chuck was at Twin Oaks. It was definitely not as large or as plush as Doctor Parker's. In fact, it was rather Spartan. She turned on the computer and accessed the communications subroutines. An Army Major appeared on the screen. "Agent Walker, secure."

"NSA, secure. Identification code?"

"Charlie, Indigo, Bravo, three, three, seven. Agent Sarah Walker."

There was a pause. "Identification confirmed. What can I do for you Agent Walker?"

"May I speak to General Beckman?"

"One moment."

The screen went blank and after what seemed to Sarah an interminable wait, the image of General Diane Beckman appeared.

"Agent Walker. It has been some time."

"I apologize, ma'am."

"No matter. Have you read Doctor Parker's report?"

"I have, General."

"And you were present for the testing session?"

"I was, General."

"Is there any possibility that Mr. Bartowski could be faking it?"

Sarah was taken aback. "Excuse me, General?"

"It's no secret that Mr. Bartowski has wanted to get the Intersect out of his head for some time. Is it possible that he is pretending not to flash on the Intersect images so that he can be free of NSA oversight?"

"I… I don't think so, General. That would be out of character for Chuck. He has always been straightforward and honest in the past. I don't see how such a thing would be possible."

"Then perhaps Operation Bartowski really is over. Perhaps this injury has permanently damaged his ability to access the Intersect information."

"I think it's much too early to say, General. Chuck's only been out of a coma for about a week. He still has swelling of his brain and other symptoms. I think it's much too early to write off the Intersect… to write off Chuck… at this point."

"For what it's worth, Doctor Parker agrees with you. She wants some additional time to study Chuck and determine if this is a permanent or temporary condition. I am willing to extend the project for a short time, but this agency doesn't have unlimited resources. If I don't see results fairly quickly, I am shutting down the project and recalling you and Major Casey."

"What about Chuck?" Sarah asked.

"What about him?" General Beckman replied.

"What will happen to Chuck if he can't access the Intersect anymore?"

"We will allow him to finish his rehabilitation and then he will be released. If he is no longer the Intersect, then he is of no further interest."

You didn't last as long as Sarah had as a spy without knowing when someone was hiding something from you, and Sarah sensed that General Beckman was hiding something. But what?"

"Is there anything else, Agent Walker?"

"No ma'am."

"See that your future reports are more timely," general Beckman said and then the screen went black.

Sarah frowned at the blank screen. There was more going on her than met the eye and she intended to find out what it was.

**********************************

Andy finished up her formal report and recommendations to General Beckman. It was merely an elaboration of her preliminary report of Chuck's first test of the Intersect data and with test results appended. Carefully edited test results. No sense telling the NSA everything too soon. Then they might decide they didn't need her.

She stood and exited her office, making sure the door was locked behind her. Then she walked down the hall to her lab. The doors to the lab slid open and she grabbed the white lab coat hanging on a hook next to the door. Her assistant, Nate, was sitting at his computer, looking at something. He looked up when he entered and smiled. She graced him with a small smile and his grew wider. Men were so easy to manipulate.

She walked over to him and leaned over him so that she was barely brushing him and looked at his screen. He was analyzing Chuck's EEG from during the test.

She straightened. "So have the test subjects arrived?" she asked.

"They arrived about two hours ago," Nate told her.

"All seven?" she asked.

"No. Only four. Three men and one woman. Two men are catatonic and one man and the woman appear to be having severe psychotic episodes. The man keeps muttering 'salamander' and the woman keeps saying something that sounds like 'car mike' or something like that."

Andi frowned. She had requested that all the subjects be transferred here. Why wasn't that done. Was someone else also examining these subjects? If so, it added urgency to her work.

"It will have to do," Andi said. "Show me."

Dr. Forrest turned and entered some commands in his computer. Four monitors blinked on to show the four 'test subjects.' Two of the men were simply lying on their beds, their faces blank. One man and one woman were strapped to their beds, thrashing about. Andi smiled. What a stroke of luck that a recent operation by Agents Casey and Walker had uncovered an attempt by some organization known as Fulcrum to download information into the brains of agents, just as the Intersect had been downloaded into Charles Bartowski's brain. Somehow – the redacted report she received was not clear – all of these subjects had been subjected to the subliminal images and their brains had been unable to handle the downloaded information. One man had died. The rest were like these four – either catatonic or psychotic. If she could determine what made Charles Bartowski's brain so special, and why he was able to handle the Intersect images while others couldn't, the CIA and NSA could determine which agents could handle the Intersect data and the Subliminal Agent Training Information Project could be restarted. With her at its head, of course.

"All right," Andi said. "I want a full workup: EEG, MRI, CAT scan, the works, on all of these subjects. Everything we have on Bartowski I want on these four." She looked at the monitors. The woman, a blonde, looked like she might have been pretty before she went insane. Andi hated pretty blondes. "Start with the woman. Once you have all the data, prep her for exploratory surgery."

"Exploratory surgery?" Nate asked, surprised. "What kind of surgery?"

"Brain surgery," Andi said.

"Do we have authorization for that?" Nate asked. "Isn't that extremely risky?"

Andi shrugged. "Look at her, Nate. We're doing her a favor. Let me worry about the authorizations."

*******************************

Five hours later, Andi stepped out of the surgical suite and stripped off her scrubs. The operation had been a success. The patient had died, of course, but they had her brain in a jar and a complete map of her synaptic pathways. Now, all she needed to do what get a map of Charles Bartowski's synaptic pathways, compare the two, and she would know what it was about Chuck's brain that made him such a superb candidate for the subliminal images and thus the Intersect. Then her future would be assured.


	6. Something Doesn't Add Up

Okay, I think this writing fan fic thing has passed from a hobby to an obsession. I noted that as of my last chapter of this fic, I had posted over 107,000 words in a month. Since a novel is classified as anything over 40,000 words, I have written the equivalent of two novels and I'm just getting warmed up. I have three stories currently in progress: two Chuck and one Burn Notice. (This and 'Buy More Bomber' for Chuck. I haven't finished the first chapter yet for Burn Notice, but I have it pretty well plotted out in my head).

Obsessive/compulsive? Me? Maybe I should be writing 'Monk' fics.

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 6

Something Doesn't Add Up

Sarah was actually feeling pretty good. She'd had a good workout this morning; Chuck had done well in his first physical therapy and occupational therapy sessions yesterday; and General Beckman had given Team Bartowski a reprieve, at least for a little while. She checked through her meager wardrobe and picked out a dress Chuck would like, spent a little time fixing her hair and makeup, and picked up her book. At Chuck's urging, she was reading 'The Lord of the Rings.' Actually, she was re-reading it. When Chuck had asked her if she had ever read it, her ingrained reticence at talking about her past has led her to deny having ever read it before. In fact, she had read it in high school at the urging of one of her science club friends and had read it again in college after she and a date had gone to see Ralph Bashki's animated 'Lord of the Rings' at one of the University film nights. She was enjoying reading it again, and now Chuck was so excited to be 'introducing' her to classic that she couldn't tell him that she had read it before. Besides, it had been such a long time since she had taken the time to read anything other than files and mission reports. Chuck had already started planning a nine-hour 'Lord of the Rings' marathon so they could watch all of Peter Jackson's extended cuts of the live-action movies back to back to back.*

She was almost to Chuck's room when the door opened and Ellie came flying out, sobbing. She turned and started quickly down the hall. "Ellie!" Sarah yelled, but Ellie didn't turn around and just kept going.

Chuck's door opened again and Devon came out, a worried look on his face. "Devon," Sarah said. "What happened?"

"Ellie and Chuck had a fight. Ellie was talking about the wedding and about how she had really wanted her Dad to walk her down the aisle. Chuck got mad and said that he had tried to find their Dad and that Ellie shouldn't rub it in that he was such a failure. When Ellie tried to tell him she didn't say that, Chuck blew up and said he didn't know why he wasn't good enough to walk Ellie down the aisle. She started crying and ran out. I've got to catch her." He took off running down the hall.

Sarah stormed into Chuck's room. "What on Earth are you doing, Chuck, making Ellie cry like that?" she asked.

"Sure," Chuck snapped back. "Take her side. Everyone always takes her side because she's the girl. She's special because she's a doctor and she's getting married. She's the successful Bartowski and I'm just the Buy More flunky."

Sarah stared at Chuck and blinked back her surprise. "Chuck, what's gotten into you?"

"Maybe I'm just starting to wake up and smell the coffee. I'm tired of being a doormat for Ellie, Devon, Morgan, Casey and you. Especially you."

Sarah actually took a step back. She had never seen Chuck like this. "Chuck, you're not a doormat. We all, every one us, love you. We…"

She stopped. My God, she thought. Did I just say that? She stumbled on as if she hadn't. "Chuck, this isn't like you. I think that this… this behavior is a result of the 'accident.'"

"Well," Chuck said, "Maybe this is who I really am. The person I was supposed to be. The badass spy who looks out for himself."

"Chuck," Sarah said gently, taking a step toward him. "You're not a spy. If you can't flash…"

"Get out!" he yelled. "Just get the hell out of my room."

Sarah fled the room as tears welled up in her eyes.

She ran down the hall to her room and slammed the door so she could compose herself. Then she took a moment to fix her makeup and then headed toward Doctor Parker's office.

When she reached the office, she knocked. No answer. She knocked again. Still no response. She tried the door. Locked.

She turned and looked down the hall. Maybe Andi was in her lab.

She walked down the hall to the lab and knocked on the door. She waited a moment and raised her hand to knock again when the door opened. It was Nate Forrest, Andi's assistant.

"Oh, hi," Sarah said. "I was looking for Andi, um, Doctor Parker."

"Come in, come in," Nate said, holding the door for Sarah to enter. Sarah entered the lab and looked around. On the far wall were several monitors. Four were active. Two showed men lying still on their beds. One showed a man on a bed struggling with restraints. The fourth showed Chuck's room. Nate walked over and hit a button to shut off the monitors. Sarah furrowed her brow. The other three men had looked familiar.

"I'm afraid Andi isn't here," Nate said. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Sarah frowned. She really wanted to talk about this with Andi. They had developed a certain rapport and Sarah really didn't know Nate. But she was worried enough that she decided to go ahead. "It's Chuck," she said. "This morning, just a little bit ago, he was… He wasn't himself. He was angry. Almost violently so. I've never seen him like that before."

"How about we go have a look at him?" Nate said. "Would that make you feel better?"

"Um. I suppose so," Sarah said. Nate put his hand on Sarah's back to guide her out of the lab. Sarah suppressed a shudder at his touch. 'Just nerves,' she told herself.

Once they were out of the lab, Nate stopped to check that the door was secure, then reached out to put his hand on Sarah's back again. She hurried a little to avoid the touch and Nate frowned, but quickly recovered.

"How long have you worked with Doctor Parker?" Sarah asked, trying to fill the awkwardness with conversation.

"Ever since I was a PhD candidate. She's been great. She's taught me everything I know."

Sarah recognized the hero worship, and something more, in his voice.

"How long have you been with the CIA?" Nate asked.

"I really can't talk about that," Sarah replied.

"So what can you tell me about yourself?" Nate asked.

"Not much, I'm afraid," Sarah said.

They walked along in silence for a bit, with Nate stealing glances over at Sarah. At first they made Sarah uncomfortable, but then she decided it was harmless sexual attraction. Something she had become used to. Besides, if a man found her attractive, it gave her a certain power over him. That could prove useful, if necessary.

They reached Chuck's room and Sarah knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in," came Chuck's voice from the other side. Sarah opened the door and entered, Nate following closely behind. Chuck blinked in surprise at seeing Nate.

"Good morning, Doctor Forrest," he said. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm fine, Mr. Bartowski. The more important question is, 'how are you?'"

"Oh, fine," Chuck said. He looked at Sarah. "I'm sorry, Sarah. I'm not sure what came over me. I… I need to call Ellie and apologize."

Sarah felt herself let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. She walked over to the bed and took his hand. "Are you okay? Are you feeling all right?"

"I have a bit of a headache," Chuck said.

"May I have a look?" Nate asked.

Chuck nodded and Nate approached the bed. He took out a small pen-light and shined it in Chuck's eyes, then checked his pulse. "Any dizziness? Blackouts?"

"No," Chuck said.

"Shortness of breath?"

"No."

"How about any pain other than the headache?"

"My shoulder is a little sore, but I think that's from the physical therapy yesterday."

Nate frowned. "If it's all right, I want to take you down to the lab and run a couple of tests, okay?"

Chuck looked nervously at Sarah. She gave him a small nod. "I suppose," Chuck said. Sarah squeezed his hand and smiled at him while Nate stepped over to grab the wheelchair.

"I can walk," Chuck said.

"I'd rather you rode," Nate said. "Until I know what exactly is going on."

Chuck shrugged and climbed into the wheelchair. Nate started to push him, but Sarah said, "Let me do that," and took her normal place behind Chuck.

Once in the lab, Nate immediately set to work. Sarah was impressed that he seemed very professional once they started; only occasionally glancing over to give her a smile. He ran an MRI, an EEG and a CAT scan. He was just finishing the CAT scan when the door to the lab burst open and Andi Parker came barging in. "What the hell are you doing?" she demanded of Nate. "Bartowski is _my_ project. You will not touch him without _my_ permission. Is that clear?"

Nate mumbled something.

"Is that _clear_?"

"Yes, Doctor Parker," Nate said, hanging his head.

Only then did she notice Sarah in the room. "Oh… Um… Sarah… Agent Walker. I… ah… didn't see you there."

Sarah put on her best smile, a skill she had honed through years of CIA fieldwork. "Please, it's my fault," she said. "Doctor Forrest was reluctant, but I insisted. Chuck wasn't himself this morning and he had a headache. I was worried. Please don't blame Doctor Forrest."

Behind Andi, Nate gave Sarah a grateful smile.

Andi took a moment to compose herself. She turned back to Nate. "I'm sorry, Nate. Perhaps I… overreacted. I just… know how important Mr. Bartowski is and I want to make sure that he gets the best care possible. I was worried about him, that's all." She glanced over at Chuck. She seemed nervous. "What did you find?" she asked.

Sarah had a hard time following the technical medical discussion that followed, but she gathered that Chuck's brain lesion was not healing as hoped.

Finally, Andi stepped away from the computer and turned to Chuck who had been lying on a table the whole time. "You know," Andi said. "As long as you're here in the lab, Chuck, I'd like to run a few more tests on the Intersect."

"I'm pretty tired," Chuck said, a slight annoyance in his voice that everyone seemed to have forgotten him until then.

"Nonsense, this will be very quick and I know that you want to get better as quickly as possible, don't you?"

"I… I suppose," Chuck said.

"Um, Andi, are you sure about this?" Sarah asked. "After all, Chuck's had a rough morning."

A look of annoyance flashed across Andi's face so quickly that someone other than Sarah might have missed it. "Trust me," Andi said. "It's for Chuck's own good."

************************************

An hour later, Sarah wheeled Chuck out of the lab. He was fidgeting in the chair. "Please, Sarah," he said. "Let me walk."

"Are you sure?" Sarah asked.

"I need to," Chuck said. Sarah helped him to stand and gave him her arm. She led him down the hall. His walk was more of a shuffle, like an old man, but she was proud of the progress he had made.

They made their way slowly down the hall in silence for a bit. Finally, Chuck spoke. "Sarah," he said. "What if it never comes back?"

"What?" she said, a little distracted. "What comes back?"

"The Intersect," he said.

"Isn't that what you've always wanted?" she said. "A way to get rid of the Intersect? To 'get the pictures out of your head,' as you put it?"

Chuck stopped walking and was silent for another moment. "I used to. I mean, before the 'accident' I was sure. I wanted to just get on with my normal life." He looked over at her. "But what is my normal life? My college roommate is a spy and he got me kicked out of college so I wouldn't be one, too. My college girlfriend is a spy and that's why she dumped me in college. I apparently have some kind of weird brain that allows me, of all people, to process the Intersect. Two of my best friends are spies…"

"Do you mean that?" Sarah asked, suddenly.

"Mean what?" Chuck asked.

"That I… that Casey and I are your friends? Your best friends?"

Chuck smiled. "Morgan is like my brother. He _is_ my brother, in all but biology. We've been through so much together. But, yeah, other than Morgan, you and Casey are my best… you're more than friends, really. You're part of my family. I mean, I owe you both my lives I don't know how many times over. You've made me more than I ever thought I could be. I…" He paused and it was obvious that the next words came with great difficulty and even greater emotion. "I want you to know, that no matter what happens… If you and Casey have to leave… You'll always be family. There will always be a… a home for you here."

Sarah reached up and wiped her eyes. "Bright lights," she lied and Chuck merely smiled. "You'll be happy to be rid of us," she finally said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"You know that's not true," he said, his tone serious.

'Kiss me,' she thought, as they looked into each other eyes. 'God I want you to kiss me.'

But he simply smiled, squeezed her hand and started down the hall again. "The Marquis de Sade will be waiting," he said, referring to Dr. Schultz.

Sarah reluctantly followed him down the hall.

*****************************

Upon learning about Chuck's morning, Katie Schultz insisted that Chuck rest. "We'll do both physical and occupational therapy this afternoon," she said.

After Katie left, Chuck called Ellie to apologize, causing her to cry again. "I'm so sorry, sis," he said, over and over again. Finally, he said, "I love you, too," and hung up the phone.

"Everything okay with Ellie?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah, we're good. She understands."

"Chuck," Sarah said. "I'm worried about you." She bit her bottom lip. "That man in this room this morning. That wasn't you. I've never seen you like that before."

"I'm sure Doctor Parker will get to the bottom of it," Chuck said. He smiled at her. "I'm still me," he said.

'But for how long?' Sarah thought.

******************************

A pretty young girl brought Chuck and Sarah lunch. Sarah had noticed that practically all the staff were young and attractive. She wondered, briefly, if that was a result of the Administrator, Edward Wheeler, being a lech or whether celebrities expected to be surrounded by young, beautiful people. At least they all seemed very competent, but Sarah was uncomfortable having Chuck fawned over by so many lovely young women. And they did fawn over Chuck. Again, she didn't know if that was because he was Chuck or because they were trained to fawn over their celebrity clientele, but she suspected that Chuck received a little better care than more simply by being – for the most part – Chuck. He couldn't lose that. He couldn't lose his 'Chuckness.'

"A penny for your thoughts?" Chuck asked.

Sarah realized she had been sitting with a fork poised halfway between the plate and her mouth. "Oh," she said, startled. "I was… I was thinking about…" She looked at him, at the look of kindness and compassion on his face. It was so hard to lie to him. "I was thinking about how to find your Dad."

Chuck grew silent and Sarah suddenly knew she had said the wrong thing. Chuck resumed eating and they finished their lunch in silence.

After they had finished, Chuck yawned and Sarah got him settled into his bed for a short nap before his afternoon therapy sessions. "Thank you," he murmured drowsily, "for taking such good care of me."

She leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Rest," she said softly.

********************************

Sarah waited until Chuck was asleep and then slipped out of the room. She was half-way to the little office she and Casey shared when Casey turned the corner, practically running her over.

"I can't believe you told him that, Walker!" he growled.

Sarah's eyes went wide. Had Casey heard the exchange in the hallway? What was he talking about? "I… I don't know what you're talking about, Casey."

"I was listening this morning," he said between gritted teeth. "How the hell could you tell the nerd that I love him?"

Sarah looked at Casey in shock, and then burst out laughing. "Well, Casey," she finally managed cough out. "It's true. Even Chuck told you that at Ty Bennett's dojo."

"And I threatened to kill him for it," he growled.

Sarah breathed an inward sigh of relief. Casey was so focused on himself, he evidently missed her other little slip up.

"Calm down, Casey. I'm sure Chuck has forgotten all about it."

"He better have," Casey muttered.

Sarah's mirth faded and he looked up and down the corridor. "Have you swept our office for bugs?"

Casey shrugged. "Of course. Every morning. Standard procedure."

"Good," she said. "Let's go." She grabbed his arm and pulled him toward their office. In his confusion, he didn't pull his arm away.

Sarah unlocked the office and motioned Casey inside. "Something's not right," she said, when the door closed. "Doctor Parker is acting strange."

"You think we have a Zarnow situation on our hands?" Casey asked.

"No. I don't think that's it. I asked Nate, her assistant, to check Chuck out this morning and she came unglued when she found out."

"So she's territorial. Lots of women are."

Sarah ignored that last comment. "There was something else. Isn't this supposed to be just a physical rehabilitation hospital?"

Casey shrugged. "Yeah, for agents and whiney celebrities."

"When I went in Parker's lab this morning, I saw something on the monitors. I couldn't get a good look, but it looked like psychiatric patients. Three men: two comatose and one violently psychotic."

"Who were they?" Casey asked.

"I'm not sure. I didn't get a good look. But they looked familiar. Listen, can you approach Carol Martin and see what you can find out? I'll work on Wheeler and Doctor Forrest. It may be nothing, but I've got a bad feeling about this."

Casey snorted. "'Bad feeling about this.' Been watching too many Star Wars movies with the nerd."

"And how do you know about that line, Casey?"

"I, uh, have to listen when he watches them."

Sarah smiled briefly, but then Agent Walker was back. "I'm serious, Casey. Something doesn't feel right. Parker referred to Chuck as her _project_, not her patient."

"Okay," Casey said, nodding. "I'll trust your instincts. We'll meet tomorrow and compare notes. I have a shift at the Buy More this evening."

"Sales duty calls," Sarah said. Casey merely snarled.

They exited the office and went their separate ways.

*****************************************

*****************************************

* Author's Note: For those of you who will argue that Sarah did not go to college, based on her being recruited by the CIA out of High School, her official spy dossier says that she was recruited out of Harvard (see the official Chuck website). Additionally, if you will look closely at her locker in 'Cougars' you will see a flyer for science club. We also know from Mark Ratner's official dossier that Sarah was in Chess Club, the AV Team and Mathletics. So Sarah was a nerd in High School! So there!


	7. Suspicions

Thanks again to **Poa** for proofreading the last chapter. And for introducing me to the Chuck Google Group, which means, of course, less time for writing and less time for sleep. Oh well, sleep is overrated and I'll find time for both my fics and chatting in the forums. Somehow.

Thanks also for the reviews. I have to say, the feedback I have received is incredible. Honestly, some of the reviews are better than the story you are reviewing.

I took a little hiatus while I try and recover from being sick. It's bad when you have a day off of work and don't even have the strength to write.

But I'm back to writing, so here is…

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 7

Suspicions

"Sarah! Sarah! Wake up!" Sarah blinked awake to see Chuck standing over her bed. "Sarah, I flashed! It's back. The Intersect is back. I can flash! That means everything can go back to the way it was."

Sarah sat up and looked at Chuck. He had a huge grin on his face. "Don't you realize what this means? I'm back. Back to normal. Everything will be exactly like it was before."

"Like it was before?" Sarah asked, groggily. She blinked and looked at Chuck. He was dressed in his Nerd Herd uniform of black pants, short sleeved white shirt and grey necktie. His 'Chuck' Nerd Herd pocket protector/badge was on his pocket. "Why… why are you dressed like that?" Sarah asked.

"I have to go to work," Chuck said. "No more lounging around. Now it can be exactly as it was before." He turned to go. Sarah reached out for him.

"Uh, uh, uh, no touching the asset," Casey said, grabbing her wrist. "You can't be compromising yourself with the Intersect."

"Exactly as it was before," Chuck said as he slipped out the door.

**********************************

Sarah sat up in bed, startled awake by the dream. Or was it a nightmare? She looked over the clock: 5:03 a.m. No way was she getting back to sleep now. She pulled back the covers and got out of bed. She spent a couple minutes stretching to loosen up before heading over to the bathroom in her suite. She flipped on the light and blinked while her eyes adjusted, then looked at herself in the mirror. The good food and daily workouts had done their work. She was almost back to the old Sarah. A little ways to go before she was back in top agent form, but she was getting there.

She leaned in to look a little more closely as her face. There was still the hint of circles under her eyes. She hadn't been sleeping well. Too many things on her mind. A good agent could practically will herself to sleep because one never knew when the next opportunity for sleep would come. Yet lately she had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. And it was all Chuck's fault.

No. That wasn't being fair. It wasn't Chuck's fault so much as _because_ of Chuck. Because she was worried about him. Who would have thought that she would worry more about Chuck when he wasn't flashing and going on missions than when he was being dangled out of windows by Fulcrum mercenaries?

She sighed and pulled her hair back into a pony tail and then pulled on her workout clothes. She slipped out of her room and into the hallway. At this hour, the facilities luxurious hallways were dark and deserted. She started toward the workout facility and then stopped. Maybe it would be a good time to check out Doctor Parker's office or lab. She shook her head. Security was tight, even at this hour, and any attempt to break into Andi's office or lab would be reported by security. It was too soon to tip off the neurologist about her suspicions. She gave a mental shrug and continued on to the workout facility.

As usual, the place was empty. This particular physical therapy room had been set aside for Chuck and his therapy. Given the sensitive nature of the rehab facilities patients, it had a number of such physical therapy rooms so that each patient could have their therapy sessions in private. This particular room, therefore, also doubled as Sarah's own workout room. Doctor Schultz, Chuck's physical therapist, had even been kind enough to have a heavy bag hung for her.

Sarah grabbed a towel and then checked the weight settings for the leg press. It was still set to Chuck's session from the day before so she slipped out the key and moved it down to increase the weight. She made a mental note of where it had been set so she could put it back when she was done. No sense in Chuck's being embarrassed that Sarah could leg press more weight than he could.

She sat down and took a deep breath, held it, then slowly let it out as she pushed the footpads. Unlike the gym in her hotel or even the equipment in the Castle, there was no clank of metal on metal as she pushed. The equipment was all state of the art and expertly maintained. As she did her reps, she ran through everything that she knew about Doctor Andrea Parker:

Doctor Andrea 'Andi' Parker. Age 43. Undergraduate degree in molecular biology from Yale. Medical degree from John's Hopkins. Residencies at Mount Sinai Medical Center – New York and NYU Medical Center. PhD in Neurophysiology from USC. Considered one of the best, if not the best, neurosurgeons in California, although four years ago she began to spend more time in research than treatment. Consultant to the NSA for the Intersect Project following the arrest of Dr. Jonas Zarnow.

Sarah stood up from the leg press, toweled it off, and stepped over to the bench press. She set it to her preferred setting and lay down on the bench. Deep breath in, hold it, and then push upward with the exhale. Now for what wasn't in the official file:

Andi Parker: a striking, even beautiful woman who dressed in expensive designer suits. A woman who knew how to use her natural beauty to captivate men, including her assistant, Doctor Nathan Forrest, and Edward Wheeler, the rehab hospital's administrator. (Although Chuck seemed to be immune to her. Sarah hoped that was because he only had eyes for her, but maybe he just wasn't into older women). She could be very charming. Sarah was a little embarrassed, thinking back on it now, how easily Andi had put her at ease and gotten Sarah to open up about herself and about her mission. She was ambitious. She had to be to have moved up so rapidly in her profession and to have garnered so many awards, fellowships and grants at what was, in her profession, a relatively young age. Sarah closed her eyes and replayed in her head her conversations with Andi, a skill they had taught her at the CIA training academy.

Sarah suddenly opened her eyes and the weight bar slammed down. That bitch! Andi was using her! Using her to gain intel on Chuck and the Intersect. Using her to gain Chuck's trust and compliance. How could she have been so blind? But what was Parker's game? What was she looking for? Where was this leading? Sarah didn't have all those answers yet. She needed more answers. She mentally kicked herself. She had been acting like Chuck's girlfriend instead of his handler, his protector. She had been so worried about Chuck's physical wellbeing that she had neglected his physical safety.

Trust no one. That had always been Sarah Walker's motto, something drilled into her by her father since she was a young girl. Always look for the con, the game. When someone is nice to you, look for the angle, what they're getting out of it. Too much time with Chuck had made her forget that. Chuck's innocence, his trusting nature, had rubbed off on her. Well no more. It was time for Agent Walker to make her reappearance. Time for Agent Walker to save the Intersect from whatever danger awaited it.

And, a small part of her – the 'Sarah' part of her – said, save Chuck.

**********************************

Sarah toweled herself off after her shower. Her workout had been especially satisfying; especially her work on the heavy bag. Her hands were still a little red from the force of hitting the bag. A consequence, no doubt, of imaging that the bag was Andi Parker. She didn't have any evidence. Certainly nothing she could take to General Beckman. But she was more convinced than ever that Doctor Parker was playing her, playing Chuck, even playing Beckman. The woman had an agenda and it was up to Sarah, with Casey's help, to find out what it was.

Funny that the thought of Casey gave her comfort. At some point, John Casey had gone from threat to partner and now she couldn't imagine doing this without him. So who had changed: Casey or her? Or maybe both? She shook her head. Too much introspection lately, not enough action. Agent Sarah Walker was a woman of action and it was time for her to step up and get her head in the game.

She dressed and fixed her hair and makeup, taking the time to make sure she was drop-dead gorgeous. She had spoken yesterday to Edward Wheeler, the administrator. A little flattery and a little cleavage and he had been more than eager to help her. Unfortunately, he hadn't been much help. He was clearly a management flunky and no more. She had wheedled a list out of him of the equipment and facilities requests by Parker and the fact that four unknown 'patients' had been delivered to her restricted area of the facility. That and the fact that only he and Doctor Parker could access her office and only the two of them and Nate Forrest could access her lab. She had tried to speak to Nate Forrest yesterday, but he had been 'unavailable.' So hopefully today would be Doctor Forrest's turn.

First, however, she went to go check on Chuck. They had a date for breakfast.

**************************************

Andi Parker had always been an early riser. Years of medical school and residency had conditioned her to get by with little sleep. She checked her makeup in the rearview mirror before getting out of her car.

Her high heels clacked upon the pavement as she walked to the building. She touched her badge to the sensor and heard the door lock click. She walked to her office and again touched her badge to the sensor. Her office was, unsurprisingly, exactly as she left it. She made a mental note to ask that weasel Wheeler how they would clean her office if only the two of them had access. She smiled. 'I bet I can convince him to watch them while they clean it,' she thought. The thought gave her a little thrill.

She booted up her computer and stuck in the encrypted thumbdrive on which she kept all of the data regarding the Intersect. Yesterday had been a very productive day. Not only had she gotten additional data from Bartowski, but her exploratory surgery on one of the other test subjects – it occurred to her she didn't even know his name – had been highly enlightening. He had, of course, died as a result of the surgery. But dissecting his brain had given them a workable theory as to why the subject – Bartowski – could no longer access the Intersect. She had a couple more tests to run to make sure. And then it would be Chuck's turn. Oh, how she longed to get her hands on his brain.

She walked down to the lab and let herself in. Nate was at his computer, as usual. "Good morning, Andi," he said, brightening when she entered the room. "You're looking nice this morning."

She walked over and ran a hand up his arm and across his shoulders. "You're always such the flatterer, Nate," she said. "Did you compile the data like I asked?"

"I've got it right here," Nate said. "You were right. The subject has an unusually large number of connectors between the left and right hemispheres of his brain. Some of those appear to be currently blocked by this lesion," he tapped on a picture on his monitor of Chuck's brain. One area was darker that the others. The area Andi had earlier identified as the brain lesion to Chuck and Sarah. "Of course, we can't know for sure. The CAT scan and MRI only show so much."

"How about the others?" Andi asked.

Nate wheeled his chair over to a table where sections of a grey mass were laid out. "This is the brain from the male subject. Note that he has a low instance of connective neurons between the left and right hemispheres. Now over here we have the female. She has more connective neurons between the two hemispheres. From the scans of the other two subjects, I note a similar pattern. The man who is comatose has fewer connectors and the man who is awake but extremely agitated appears to have more connectors."

"So what is your hypothesis?" Andi asked.

"Well, we know that the main subject – Chuck – was able to process the Intersect images without a psychotic episode or without going into a state of permanent catatonia. I would guess that when the data being fed into his brain began to reach overload, the connectors between the left and right hemispheres allowed him to shunt some of the data to the other hemisphere. It could also be that it requires both the creative and logical centers of the brain, the left and right lobes, to process the Intersect data and allow him to, what do they call it, flash?"

Andi nodded. "Go on."

"So, since these two subjects had more connectors, but not as many as Chuck, they were able to partially store and process the information. But the 'data dump', if you will, was too much for them and it caused the psychotic episodes. Or maybe they were able to store all the images but because of the lack of coordination between the left and right hemispheres they are constantly receiving information in a stream and they can't process it or tune it out. Thus leading to their psychosis."

"Interesting," Andi said.

"The other two, the catatonics, were simply not able to process all the data being shunted into their brains and so they simply shut down."

"Very good, Nate," Andi said. "A workable hypothesis. I think I know a way we can partially test the theory. Prep the psychotic for vivisection."

Nate's eyes went wide. "Andi, you can't mean…"

"Nate, science requires risk, you know that. We need to study the synaptic activity between the left and right hemispheres of these two patients and we can't do that post-mortem. So we'll have to test it while they're alive. Don't worry. They won't feel a thing."

"But Andi, we've already killed…"

"We haven't killed anyone," Andi said, her voice sharp. "We are trying to help and they just happened to not survive the surgery. If we can test the hypothesis, think of the breakthroughs. Imagine using the Intersect technique to download an entire medical library into your head, ready to access whenever you needed it. We could make school, even reading, obsolete. Think of the possibilities."

Nate looked at her dubiously. "But if the subject can't access the Intersect…"

"Let me worry about that. Look, here's the area that's affecting the interconnection. This same area is putting pressure on his ventral prefrontal cortex. That would no doubt account for his violent outbursts and sudden mood swings."

"But that could just as easily be explained by this scaring near the amygdala," Nate countered. "We could relieve the pressure on the amygdala and not have to get near the prefrontal cortex. If we operate there, we run the risk of damage to the cerebrum and he could wind up a vegetable."

Andi smirked. "Remember your Herodotus: 'Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks.'"

"What about General Beckman? Isn't she going to be upset if you damage the Intersect?" Nate asked.

"He's not the Intersect now. He can't flash. Besides, if we decipher this, we can give her a hundred Intersects."

"Well," Nate said, changing tactics, "What about his handler? I don't think she's going to let you just experiment on her asset."

"You let me handle Sarah Walker," Andi said with a smile. "She's the least of my worries."

*************************************

Sarah smiled at the scene before her. She was on the couch in Chuck's room. Chuck was in his bed and Morgan was sitting on the end of the bed. Chuck and Morgan were eating breakfast and Morgan, between mouthfuls, was telling Chuck about the latest goings on at the Buy More and his review of some video game preview that had come in. Once Morgan found out how good the food was here at Twin Oaks, he managed to show up quite often at mealtime. Sarah didn't mind. Chuck seemed to really enjoy the connection with his 'real life' that Morgan provided.

"Hey Sarah," Chuck called over to her. "Morgan doesn't believe that I've convinced you to read 'The Lord of the Rings.'"

Sarah smiled and held up the page-worn copy of "The Two Towers" that was sitting beside her on the couch.

Morgan shook his head. "It must be love," he said. "If you can convince a hot girl like her to stray into nerdvana." He paused and reddened, realizing that he had just called her 'a hot girl' to her face.

"I'm enjoying it," Sarah said. "I'm glad Chuck recommended it."

"So you've shown her the movies, right, Frodo?" Morgan asked Chuck.

"No, Samwise, I wanted her to read the books without preconceived notions. We'll do the movie after."

Morgan pumped his fist. "One day! Three movies! Nine hours of hobbits, elves and orcs!"

"Yes, Morgan," Chuck said. "Sarah's already agreed to the full Peter Jackson extravaganza later. Aren't you going to be late for work?"

Morgan stood and bowed to Sarah. "I take my leave, fair Arwen." He turned back to Chuck. "Wait, does that make you Aragorn now, because then I'd have to be Legolas or maybe Gimli and you can't have one without the other and…"

"Goodbye, Morgan," Chuck said. They clapped hands and Morgan was out the door.

Sarah stood and walked over to the bed. She brushed her hand through Chuck's hair. "You're in a good mood today."

Chuck shrugged. "It comes and goes," he said. "Sometimes I just get these… I don't know, rages. I don't get them as often, but when I do I can't seem to control it."

"Well, that's what we're supposed to talk to Doctor Parker about today," Sarah said. "She told me she might have some ideas about them."

Chuck took Sarah's hand. "Have I told you lately how much I appreciate the fact that you're here with me?" he asked.

Sarah smiled. "Not since yesterday," she said. "But I don't mind hearing it again."

Chuck's face clouded. "Sarah, what if, you know, I can't ever…"

"Chuck," Sarah said, cutting him off. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Besides, you've been trying to get rid of the Intersect since you got it."

"I know," Chuck said. "But, lately I've been thinking…"

He was cut off by the opening of the door to his room. Casey poked his head in. "Good. You two lovebirds are decent. Well, at least clothed."

Sarah sighed.

"Walker," Casey said. "We need to talk. My office."

Sarah patted Chuck on the hand and said, "I'll see you in a bit."

Sarah and Casey stepped into the hall and started walking toward their office. "Since when did it become _your_ office?" Sarah asked.

Casey grunted.

Once in the office, Casey took a seat. "So what did you find out?" he asked.

"I was able to talk to the administrator, Wheeler, but Nate Forrest was unavailable. Parker not only has her office and lab – only she and Wheeler have access to the office and only she, Wheeler and Forrest have access to the lab by the way – but they've assigned pretty much the entire wing to her. She's got four rooms where she was keeping the four 'patients', her lab which is outfitted as a complete neurology facility and a complete surgical suite. He doesn't know who the patients are, only that they were transferred here on General Beckman's authority. I hope to get more from Nate Forrest today."

"So that's why you're all dressed up," Casey said. "I thought you were trying to give the nerd a thrill."

Sarah gave him a dirty look.

"Fortunately, I haven't forgotten how to do old fashioned spy work," Casey said. "Agent Martin was a lot of help."

"I'll bet she was," Sarah said.

Casey grunted and then continued. "It also helps to have free run of the security office." He punched a button on the computer and brought up a picture. "Here's the security footage from when Parker's 'patients' were brought in. I've isolated and enhanced the faces." He touched another button and four faces appeared in for windows on the monitor.

"My God," Sarah said. "Fulcrum. Those are the Fulcrum agents from the cul-de-sac."

"Four of them, anyway," Casey said, "including Chuck's favorite neighbor, the Cougar."

"And Beckman authorized the transfer," Sarah said.

"Yeah," Casey replied. "Obviously, Beckman wants Parker to study these four to see if it will help figure out why Bartowski can't flash."

"It's kind of dangerous having them here," Sarah said, studying the images.

"Not anymore," Casey said. "These two are dead," Casey said, pointing at the screen. "Parker had the facility dispose of the bodies, minus their brains." Sarah looked at him. "I know, sounds like one of Chuckles zombie movies, doesn't it? The surgical suite is booked for two more operations today, so I think it's safe to say that the last two of your old neighbors won't be bothering you, either."

Sarah grimaced. "Do you think Beckman knows?"

Casey shrugged. "She had to. Or at least, she authorized the transfers to Parker. Does she know Parker's killed them?" He shrugged.

Sarah took a deep breath. "What else?"

"I checked into Parker's background. She's clean, but barely. She's skated some ethics charges and the scuttlebutt is she bribed the right people with a little horizontal payment. She's ambitious and she doesn't mind who she steps on to get where she's going."

"So we'll have to be careful," Sarah said.

"Listen, Walker," Casey said. "We don't have anything to go on other than your 'bad feeling' at this point. Beckman authorized the transfer of these 'mystery patients' you saw. So what that she got pissed that her boy was looking at Chuck without her? Do you have anything else to tell us she's dirty?"

Sarah looked at Casey and shook her head. Everything checked out so far. So why did it feel so wrong? Something told her that Parker was dangerous. Dangerous to Chuck. But how could she explain that to Casey? She couldn't. She decided to lay her cards on the table. "Just my gut, Casey," she said. "All my instincts tell me that Chuck's in danger from her." Her shoulders drooped when she looked him in the eye. "I can't explain it any better than that."

To her surprise, Casey shrugged, and then fixed her with a hard gaze. "Always trust your partner's hunches," he said. Then his eyes narrowed. "But so help me Walker, if this goes south it's your ass."

Sarah smiled and resisted the urge to hug him. Instead she straightened and nodded. "Understood."

*********************************

Chuck's session with Dr. Parker was that morning. She took more scans and tried more Intersect images, but still no flashes. Sarah notices that Dr. Parker seemed unfazed. In fact, she seemed almost pleased that Chuck couldn't flash.

"And you're still having the mood swings and the flashes of anger?" Andi asked.

Chuck nodded. "It's kinda weird," Chuck said. "All of a sudden, it's like I somebody flipped a switch and I'll just light into someone for no reason. Today, at my physical therapy session, Katie, Dr. Schultz, was doing some range of motion on my shoulder and it was all I could do not to punch her. I mean, it hurt, but I've never thought about hitting a woman. Well, other than Ellie when we were kids, but who doesn't hit their sister?"

"And you didn't have these episodes before your trauma?" Andi asked.

"No," Chuck said. "Not even close."

"Chuck's always been very easygoing," Sarah offered.

Andi smiled at her; that pleasant smile that before always put Sarah on ease but now made her skin crawl just a little.

"And they're gaining in frequency?" Andi prodded.

"Well, no," Chuck said, a little surprised. "If anything, they seem to be coming less often. I was hoping that was a sign they were going away."

"But they're gaining in intensity," Andi said.

Chuck looked a little confused. "I don't think so. I… Sarah?"

"They actually seem to be getting a little better," Sarah said. "He's more in control than before."

Andi started to frown, but caught herself. Don't give anything away, she thought.

"And the headaches?"

"Not quite as bad," Chuck said. "But I still get them."

Andi nodded and made a note on his chart. She walked over to the glass drug cabinet and got out a vial. She shook two pills into her hand.

"Take these," Andi said. "They should help with preventing the headaches."

Nate got up and got Chuck a small paper cup with water and handed it to him. Chuck dutifully swallowed the pills. Andi smiled and this time Sarah was sure there was little more predator to it.

"Another session tomorrow morning, then I would like you to stop by my office tomorrow afternoon," Andi said. "There are some treatment options I would like to discuss with you," she said.

"Great," Chuck said. "Anything to get back to normal."

"Oh, I think we can guaranty that," Andi said, smiling.

Sarah stood and shook Andi's hand and then Nate's giving Nate a warm smile. Neither noticed that Sarah had left her book on the floor next to her chair. "Thanks, Andi, Nate," Chuck said as Sarah wheeled him out the door.

As soon as they were gone, Andi's smile immediately disappeared. She handed Nate the vial from which she had taken the pills. "I want you to add these to his drug regimen," Andi said to Nate. "30 cc's at each meal."

Nate looked at the label and frowned, confused. "Citropene? I thought this was never approved…"

"It wasn't," Andi said.

"But I don't understand," Nate said. "He…"

"You don't need to understand," Andi cut him off. "Just do it."

*********************************

Sarah took Chuck back to his room and put him to bed. He smiled at her as she tucked him in. She waited until he was asleep and then went to her office. She tapped the security feeds as Casey had taught her and checked the corridor outside Andi's lab, and then backed through the timestamp to the point where she and Chuck had exited. She sighed. No sign of Andi. That meant she was still in the lab and she couldn't go talk to Nate yet. Damn.

She spent the time looking over the background information Casey had gathered on Andi Parker. She had been looked it over for the better part of two hours when she was startled by the intercom on the office phone.

"Agent Walker, you better get down to Mr. Bartowski's room immediately."

Sarah shut down the computer and ran down the hall toward Chuck's room. An orderly stood outside his door, an angry look on his face.

Sarah skidded to a halt. "What is it? What's going on?" she asked.

"Son of a bitch hit me," the orderly said. "I went in to change his sheets and he started yelling and then, pow! Pretty good right cross."

Sarah looked at him, astonished. Chuck? Hitting someone?

"Are you sure?" Sarah asked.

The orderly gave her an 'are you kidding me?' expression and said, "I don't think I imagined getting clocked."

Sarah cautious opened the door. Chuck was leaning against the side of his bed, his fists clenched and his arms shaking. He spun when he heard the door and there was a look of fierce anger on his face.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he yelled. "Come to tease me a little more with the will she/won't she? Decide to rub it in that you're only my cover girlfriend and that's all you'll ever be?"

Sarah took an involuntary step back. "What's the matter?" Chuck asked. "Afraid I might give you a real kiss? Afraid you might…" He stopped and started panting.

The door opened and Andi rushed into the room, a syringe in her hand.

"What the…" he started to ask. He saw the needle and his eyes went wide. "Needles," he stammered. "I hate needles. Please…"

"Hold him," Andi told Sarah.

Reluctantly, Sarah stepped over to Chuck. She was half afraid he was going to take a swing at her, but he went limp as she grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug, pinning his arms. Andi stuck the needle in his arm. Chuck stiffened for a moment and then went limp. Sarah eased him back on the bed.

"I'm sorry, Sarah," he whimpered. Then he took a ragged breath and closed his eyes.

Sarah looked over at Andi in panic. "I gave him a sedative," Andi explained. "I was afraid of this, given his scans. A relapse."

Sarah looked from Andi to Chuck and then back at Andi.

"He'll sleep for now," Andi said. "But I'm afraid he may have some more violent episodes before this is over."

Sarah laid a hand on Chuck's arm. His breathing had slowed to a steady rhythm and he had fallen asleep.

"Stay with him," Andi said. "I'll check back later."


	8. Options

Still recovering. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. I think it may be a sinus infection. So the updates have been a little slower. Sorry.

Thanks for all the reviews.

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 8

Options

Chuck threw his plate across the room. "I can't believe they keep feeding me this shit for breakfast," he growled. "Is it too much to ask to get a damn bowl of Fruit Loops?"

Sarah slowly relaxed the muscles she had tensed at Chuck's outburst. "Do you want me to see if they have any?" she asked, keeping her tone light and even.

Chuck glared at her, then took a deep breath and held it, obviously fighting against the tension evident in his entire body. At last, he let out the breath. "I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know what… I can't…"

Sarah laid a hand on his arm. "It's okay," she said. "I know this isn't you. You can't help it. I promise. We'll figure it out. We have a meeting with Doctor Parker later, remember?" She tried not to cringe as she said Andi's name. She was more convinced than ever that Andi was manipulating both her and Chuck, but unfortunately there wasn't anyone else they could turn to right now. She was on thin ice with Beckman as it was and if she made it a choice between her and Parker, she was pretty sure which way Beckman would choose.

Chuck looked at her and his eyes were tearing up. "Help me, Sarah. I'm losing myself."

Sarah sat down on the side of the bed and pulled Chuck to her, hugging him to her breast. "It's okay, Chuck. I once told you I wouldn't let anyone hurt you. I messed up once, but never again. I promise. We'll get through this." She was glad that he couldn't see the tears in her own eyes.

"So," she finally said, "do you want me to find you some Fruit Loops?"

She felt Chuck convulse a little as he started laughing. He pulled away a little and looked at her, his eyes red. "Do you think you could?" he asked with a little pout that Sarah couldn't help but find adorable.

"For you," she said, "anything."

Sarah slipped out of the room and stopped for a moment to lean against the wall to catch her breath. Three times she had thought Chuck had died: once when Mr. Colt dropped him from the roof, once when she thought he had been in a Nerd Herder that exploded, and once when he had been shot by the North Korean agent leading to his current injury. She had thought that was the worst thing she could go through. She had been wrong. Watching her Chuck, the real Chuck, slip away was much worse. But, by God, she wouldn't stand by and let it happen.

She walked down to the facility kitchen and, after a little cajoling, managed to score a box of Fruit Loops, a bowl and some milk. She headed back up to Chuck's room and presented them with a flourish. "Ta da! Fruit Loops."

Chuck laughed while Sarah poured him a bowl.

He munched on them happily for a bit, then stopped and turned to Sarah. "I'm sorry," he said.

"Sorry?" she asked.

"I know this must be hard on you," he said. "This isn't what you signed on for. You're a spy, not a babysitter. At least before when you were babysitting me, you got to do a little bit of spy work, too. Now it's all babysitting. And on top of that, I'm… I know I've been difficult. I wish I could control it. But I…"

"Chuck," Sarah said. "Shhh. I'm here because I want to be here. Because I… I care what happens to you. I want you to get better, yes. But I'm here because you need me and… well… because I need to be here with you."

That brought a huge smile to Chuck's face.

"Hey," Sarah said. "We've faced down terrorists, fulcrum, drug smugglers… What's a little head injury, anyway?"

Chuck smiled and then went back to his Fruit Loops.

*****************************************

After breakfast, Chuck had his physical therapy session and then he and Sarah went down to Doctor Parker's lab. "Good morning, Chuck, Sarah. How are you this morning?" Andi asked.

"Fine, I guess," Chuck said. Sarah noticed that he was more subdued that usual. He was starting to get that way whenever they went to Parker's lab.

"Good morning, Nate," Sarah said, nodding to Parker's assistant and offering him a bright smile. Unfortunately, Chuck noticed and Sarah could see him flex his fist, trying to control his anger. Sarah quickly moved over to the far end of the lab where she took her usual seat. Her book was still where she had left it. When Andi and Nate were both busy looking at Chuck, she used her foot to slip it under the chair where it would be less noticeable.

Andi and Nate ran some more tests and took some more scans. Sarah noticed that Chuck was starting to grow irritable.

"How many damn tests can you run, anyway?" he barked.

"We're almost done, Chuck," Andi said, soothingly. "Have you been taking your medications? Any more headaches?"

"No," Chuck said, his voice surly.

"Why not?" Andi asked, suddenly a little excited. "You need to take your meds. They're very important."

"No, I'm taking my meds," Chuck said. "I meant no, no more headaches."

Andi seemed to calm down a little. "Oh. Okay," she said. "That's… that's good."

Sarah stifled a smile. 'Gotcha,' she thought.

"Okay, that should do it for today," Andi said. "I'm going to look over these results and see if they confirm my diagnosis. If you could come by my office at, say, two o'clock to go over the results?"

Chuck looked over at Sarah and she nodded. "I guess my social calendar is free," Chuck said, trying to sound light-hearted and failing.

"We'll be there," Sarah said. "I look forward to hearing how you can help Chuck get better."

Andi smiled at Chuck. "Don't worry, Chuck. I guaranty you. We'll make sure you're good as new."

"Will I be able to play the violin?" Chuck asked.

"I am sure you will," Andi said.

"Great," Chuck replied. "I couldn't before." Sarah cringed. Not at the old bad joke which she remembered from her grade school days, but at the fact that Chuck was obviously trying so hard to be his old, jocular self and obviously failing so badly at it.

"Ah, you got me with that one, Chuck," Andi said with a laugh that Sarah recognized immediately as forced.

"Here," Sarah said, stepping forward to take Chuck's arm. "Let me help you."

She guided Chuck out of the lab. "See you at two o'clock, Andi," she said over her shoulder. "Thank you, Doctor Forrest."

Once they were out in the hall, Chuck turned and glared at Sarah. "You don't have to be so obvious," he groused.

"What?" Sarah asked.

"The way you were coming on to Doctor Forrest. The way you let him look down your shirt. The way you strut when he's watching."

'Was I being that obvious?' Sarah thought, 'or was this part of Chuck's irritability.'

Her first instinct was to lie, to deny it. Then she stopped. There had been enough of that. She pulled Chuck into a side corridor to a spot where she knew from reviewing the security footage that there was a dead spot in the hall monitoring. "Chuck," she said. "You're right. I was flirting with Doctor Forrest."

Chuck's chest puffed up and he started to turn red.

"But hear me out," she said. "I don't trust Doctor Parker. I think she's playing you. Playing us. The only reason I'm playing nice for Doctor Forrest is that I'm going to use him to get some intel on Parker. I promise you, nothing else."

Chuck relaxed a little. "I… I'm sorry," he said. "I should trust you by now."

"You can't say a word about this to anyone," Sarah said. "You're going to have to control yourself, even when you get angry. That's going to be hard, but I trust you, too."

"What about Casey?" Chuck asked.

"What about Casey?" Sarah asked.

"Have you told him you don't trust Parker?"

"Yes. I told him," Sarah said. "He's not quite so sure, but he's willing to go with my gut feeling, for now."

"Wow," Chuck said. "You too really have come a long way, haven't you?"

"We all have, Chuck," Sarah said. "We're a team. All three of us. And Team Bartowski hasn't lost yet and they never will."

"All for one and one for all?" Chuck asked.

Sarah smiled at him. "We better get moving. Hopefully they think we just stopped for a little recreational activity."

"Too bad we didn't," Chuck said and turned and started down the hall. Sarah stared at him for a moment. That certainly wasn't a very Chuck-like statement. Perhaps there were some good aspects to all this, too.

******************************

Sarah took Chuck back to his room. She was surprised to see the lunch tray there. She looked at her watch. A quarter to twelve. They must have spent longer in Andi's lab then she realized. Chuck excused himself to go to the bathroom. Sarah made a show of straightening Chuck's food tray and surreptitiously palmed one of the little yellow pills that Doctor Parker had prescribed for Chuck's headaches. Chuck came out and Sarah made sure he was comfortable and settled in for lunch.

"Aren't you going to eat with me?" he asked.

"I need to make a phone call," Sarah said. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," Chuck said with a shrug and started eating.

Sarah stepped out in to the hall and pulled out her cell phone.

"Hello? Ellie?... Yeah, it's Sarah… Fine, how are you?... He's good. He's eating lunch… Meatloaf… Oh, not like this. This is like gourmet meatloaf… Yeah, I swear I've gained ten pounds… Listen, Doctor Parker wants to meet with Chuck and I at two o'clock at her office here at Twin Oaks to discuss his diagnosis and treatment options… I'd feel a lot better if you were there… Yeah, me too… Yeah, you too… See you at two…" Sarah hung up and smiled. Now let Parker try to dazzle them with medical mumbo-jumbo.

She went back into the room and sat down for lunch with Chuck.

*************************

Ellie called at one thirty to say she was just pulling up to the guard shack. Chuck was napping, so Sarah slipped out and headed out to the parking lot. She was waiting when Ellie pulled up in her Prius.

Sarah walked over to her car. Ellie got out and smiled at Sarah and then wrapped her in a hug. "Sarah, hi. I'm so glad you called. I meant to tell you that I wanted to be there when you met with Doctor Parker to discuss treatment options, but with everything going on…."

"I understand," Sarah said. "You've got a lot on your plate." She reached in her pocket and pulled out the little yellow pill. "Do you know what this is?" she asked Ellie.

Ellie took the pill and examined it. "Not off the top of my head. I bet one of the pharmacists at the hospital would know. Why? Where did you get this?"

"I… found it in the hallways near my room," Sarah said. "Lying on the floor. Before I said something and maybe get somebody in trouble, I thought I would see if it is anything to be worried about. I mean, if it's some kind of aspirin then no big deal, but if it's something stronger, I need to say something to Mr. Wheeler, the administrator."

Ellie nodded. "I understand. That's very nice of you, Sarah. Not everyone is so considerate. A lot of people would either have just thrown it away, ignoring a potential hazardous situation, or made a federal case out of it."

"Well, I'd appreciate it if you could find out," Sarah said. "And don't tell anyone here. I don't want to create a fuss if it's nothing, okay?"

"Deal," Ellie said. She took Sarah's arm and they started toward the facility. "So has Chuck had any more episodes like last night?"

"Nothing quite that severe, but he's had a couple of, I don't know, hissy fits?"

"Well that doesn't sound like Chuck at all," Ellie said. "I'm usually the only one in the family throwing hissy fits."

*******************************

They went inside and woke Chuck, then made their way to Parker's office. Sarah knocked and Doctor Parker opened the door. Her smile faltered for a moment when she saw Ellie standing there, but quickly reasserted itself.

"Why Doctor Bartowski, so good to see you," she said. "I wasn't expecting you."

"Well, he is my favorite brother," Ellie said, elbowing Chuck.

"Your only brother," Chuck said.

"Good thing for you 'cause that means you get to be my favorite," Ellie said.

Chuck rolled his eyes. It was obviously an old running joke between them.

Andi ushered them into her office and pulled over another chair so they could all sit across from her behind her desk. Sarah recognized the ploy. Sitting behind the desk gave you an immediate air of authority and made it less likely for people to second guess you.

Andi swiveled a monitor around so that Chuck, Sarah and Ellie could see it. "We've spoken before about this mass – a brain lesion – in Chuck's brain. It's located on the ventral prefrontal cortex. Here, in the front of his brain. This area is crucial for constraining impulsive outbursts. The pressure from the lesion is causing this area of Chuck's brain not to function correctly and thus he is unable to control his anger."

Ellie frowned. "But what about this scarring by the amygdala," she asked. "Couldn't that likewise be causing irritability and aggression?"

Sarah almost smiled. Watching Parker, you could see that she did not like her diagnoses to be questioned.

"A minor possibility," Andi said. "And besides, much harder to treat. Surgery on the amygdala is considerably more difficult that surgery on the prefrontal cortex."

"But surgery on the prefrontal cortex is inherently risky," Ellie said. "Damage to the cerebrum can cause loss of memory or loss of cognitive function."

"A slight risk," Andi said.

"Slight?" Ellie asked. "Not from what I've read."

"I didn't know you were a neurosurgeon now," Andi snapped, doing a poor job now of restraining her irritation. She realized her error and took a moment to compose herself. "I'm sorry. But I think you're too close to the patient to be objective. Besides, I've performed the surgery myself numerous times and I have never had any problems."

Sarah was disappointed to see that Ellie seemed to deflate a little. But after all, Ellie was a young doctor, fresh out of residency. Parker was a renowned neurosurgeon. It was understandable for Ellie to be a little cowed.

"So you think that you can operate on the lesion and relieve the pressure and then Chuck will be back to normal?" Sarah asked.

"I'm certain of it," Andi said. "Just as I'm certain that to wait is dangerous. Chuck has suffered a couple relapses and his situation may continue to deteriorate. Only with surgery can we insure that doesn't happen."

"Excuse me," Chuck said. All three women turned to look at him. "Isn't it my choice to make?" he asked.

Ellie laid a hand on Chuck's arm. "I'm sorry, Chuck," she said. "I went all crazy doctor sister didn't I?"

"And I love you for it, sis," Chuck said. He turned to Andi. "So if I don't have the surgery, I might get worse?"

"I'm afraid you will," Andi said. "In fact, I'd bet on it."

Ellie phone rang. She looked at it. "It's Devon," she said. "I better take this. Excuse me." She stepped out of the room.

"What about the Intersect?" Chuck asked as soon as she was gone.

Andi smiled and Sarah really, really didn't like that look. "I believe that if you have the surgery, that it will restore your access to the Intersect and your ability to flash."

Chuck sat back, looking a little stunned.

"I'm going to have to think about this," he said.

"Take your time," Andi said. "But remember, the longer that you wait, the more damage you may be suffering. The longer you wait, the worse the side effects and the riskier the surgery. I really would like to do it right away."

"I understand. Thank you, Doctor. I… need a little time. I'll have my answer for you tomorrow, how's that?"

"You need to have the surgery, Chuck," Andi said in her firm 'doctor voice.' "I don't want to scare you, but I have to be honest. If you don't have the surgery, there is a chance you could die." She glanced at the door from which Ellie had exited and seemed to consider something. "A small chance, of course. But a chance."

Chuck stood up. "Let me sleep on it, Doctor Parker," he said.

Sarah stood too.

"I'll stop by your room in the morning and we can discuss it further," Andi said. "Okay?"

Chuck nodded.

They stepped out of the office and Ellie was in the hall, just hanging up her phone. "Love you, too, Devon," she said. She turned to Chuck and Sarah. "Are you done? What happened?"

"I'm going to sleep on it," Chuck said.

Ellie gave him a hug. "We need to talk about this, Charles. This is a big, big, decision. I don't care what Doctor Parker says, brain surgery is inherently risky. You really could end up much, much worse off."

"So, if I don't do it I could die. If I do do it I could die. That about sum it up?" Chuck asked.

Sarah saw tears welling up in Ellie's eyes. Ellie pulled Chuck into a fierce hug. "I won't lose you, Chuck. I can't lose you. You're all the family I have left."

"I know," Chuck said, softly. "But no matter what. You'll still have Devon. And Sarah. And Morgan."

Ellie pulled back a little, wiped her eyes and laughed just a little. "If that's supposed to make me feel better."

"Well, all but the Morgan part," Chuck said, smiling. He pulled Ellie into a fierce hug of his own.

Sarah brushed the tears from her own eyes. She couldn't decide which was causing them: the thought that she might lose Chuck, or the fact that Chuck had included her as family. A little of both, she decided.

*****************************

Devon came over a little later and the four of them had dinner together. Then they had a long talk with Devon about Doctor's Parker's recommendation of surgery. Chuck insisted that the decision was his to make and he would make it, he just needed some time to think.

Finally, Chuck started yawning and Ellie and Devon got up to leave. Ellie gave Chuck a long hug and Devon clapped him on the shoulder. Then they both left.

Sarah waited until Chuck was asleep and then slipped out of her room. She went down to the office and checked in with Casey. Unfortunately, he had nothing new to report. She informed him of the talk with Parker.

"What do you think he's going to do?" Casey asked.

"I don't know," Sarah said, shaking her head.

"He's been trying to get rid of the Intersect for a long time," Casey said. "Maybe this is the way he does it."

"But at what cost, Casey?" Sarah asked. "Possibly his life?"

"It's Chuck's call," Casey said. "I trust him to make the right one. He's a royal pain in the ass, but God help him, he always tries to do the right thing."

"Yeah," Sarah said, thoughtfully. "I've got some intel out on Parker. I'll tell you more about it tomorrow when I learn more."

"Better hurry," Casey said. "We're running out of time."

"I know," Sarah said. Casey cut the connection.

Sarah sat for a few minutes, staring at the blank screen and trying to collect her thoughts. Her cell buzzed. It was text from General Beckman. She was to contact the General immediately. Sarah frowned, wondering what Beckman wanted.

Only one way to find out. She typed in the commands to initiate a secure link to the DNI. Beckman's face appeared on her monitor.

"Agent Walker, that was fast."

"I happened to be in my office, General."

"You and the asset met with Doctor Parker," Beckman said. The use of the term 'the asset' as opposed to 'Mister Bartowski' or 'Chuck' was not lost on Sarah.

"We did, General."

"She sent me a copy of her report. She indicates that with surgery, she can restore Mr. Bartowski's ability to access the Intersect. Restore his ability to flash."

"She told us the same thing, General. But she also indicated that the surgery could be quite risky."

"According to this," Beckman said, holding up a copy of the report, "she believes that the risks are minimal. Besides, that is irrelevant."

"Irrelevant, ma'am?" Sarah asked. "Chuck's sister, _Doctor_ Ellie Bartowski, and her fiancé, _Doctor_ Devon Woodcomb both indicated that the surgery could be quite risky."

"But they're not neurosurgeons, are they, Agent Walker?"

"No, General, but…"

"Agent Walker, this incident has made clear to us how valuable a tool the Intersect is. We need that tool back. Agent Walker, I am _ordering_ you to convince Chuck Bartowski to have the surgery so that he can renew his duties as the Intersect."

"But General…"

"That is a direct order, Agent Walker. "Convince him. Use any means necessary."

"And if he dies? Or is left a vegetable?" Sarah asked.

General Beckman scowled. "Watch your tone, Agent Walker. It's a risk we are willing to take. You have your orders. Beckman out."

The screen suddenly went as black as Sarah's mood.


	9. Interlude

Thanks again to my faithful proofreader and ledge-talker **Poa**.

A very short Chapter, but since the rest of the story is from the point of view of either Sarah or Andi, one I thought I needed to tie this sequel together with "Chuck versus the Normal Life."

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 9

Interlude

The sound of the breakers was muffled and the thick, low hanging fog concealed all but the final dying edge of each wave as it slithered up the sand toward Chuck's shoes, only to slip back away to rejoin its brethren. The sun, diffused by the myriad droplets of the fog, reached him as a cold glow. Chuck watched the waves, fascinated as always by the way the receding wave left the sand smooth and glossy for the barest moment before the water seeped in to the ground, only to be replaced by another wave.

"How long are you going to sit here?" There was no need to turn around. He recognized the voice. The very voice he had been expecting.

"What took you so long?" Chuck asked.

"You better ask yourself that." Chuck heard the sand crunch as Bryce sat down beside him.

"Yeah, yeah, all in my head. I get that this time."

"Well, you got it last time, too."

"Eventually. So tell me, if this is all in my head, how come my subconscious conjured up you instead of, oh I don't know, Sarah?"

Bryce slapped him on the back. "Because if I were Sarah, then you wouldn't be thinking with the right head."

Chuck shrugged. "True. So what am I gonna do?"

Bryce stared out in to the fog. "There's only one person with the answer to that question, buddy."

Chuck sighed. "Yeah. Always seems to come down to that, doesn't it?"

"What would Sarah want you to do?" Bryce asked.

"That's just it," Chuck said. "I don't know."

"Did you ask her?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Chuck shrugged. "Because I'm not sure I would believe her answer. She's lied to me so often in the past."

"Always to keep you safe," Bryce pointed out.

"Or so she thought," Chuck replied.

"You love her," Bryce said.

"Of course," Chuck replied. "So do you."

"But I'm you," Bryce said with a smile.

"Touché," Chuck laughed. "As if my life wasn't complicated enough."

"But she's what's driving this decision, isn't she?" Bryce asked.

"She's told me so many times that as long as I'm the Intersect that we can never be together. That the whole handler/asset thing would keep us apart. On the other hand, if I'm not the Intersect, then what is there to keep her here? She's an agent. A damn good one. The best. How can I ask her to give that up for me?"

"Damned if you do," Bryce said.

"And damned if I don't," Chuck finished.

"So just ask her," Bryce said. "At least let her know how you feel. What's driving the decision."

"But that's just it," Chuck said. "That's not everything. Not anymore."

"What do you mean?" Bryce asked.

Chuck smiled. "As if you didn't know."

"Humor me. You're evidently the one who needs to talk this out."

"Yeah, with myself."

"You could always talk to Casey," Bryce said with a smile.

Chuck laughed. "Yeah. That'd work." He switched into his 'Casey voice.' "Don't let your lady feelings get in the way, soldier. Do what needs to be done! Semper Fideles!" He sighed and looked out at the fog.

He stood up and started walking slowly down the beach, Bryce beside him. "Up until I got, you know, shot it would have been a no-brainer."

"No pun intended," Bryce said quickly.

Chuck smiled. "Yeah, no pun intended. Up until I got shot I would have jumped at the chance to get the Intersect out of my head. To never flash again. To get back to a normal life."

"And now?"

"And now I see – my life has never been normal. This thing has been a part of my life ever since Stanford. You, Jill, Dr. Fleming. It's like this thing has been stalking me." He turned to look at Bryce. "Do you believe in destiny?"

"I don't know," Bryce said. "Do you?"

"Funny… It sounds corny, but what if being the Intersect is my destiny? What if this is what I was meant to do? How many people have I helped? How many lives have I saved? Before the Intersect, I was a nobody Nerd Herder in a nowhere job with no real goals besides reaching the next level in Call of Duty. And look at me now."

"Yeah," Bryce said. "Lying on your back in a rehab hospital with a leaky brain."

"It's not leaky," Chuck said, "just kinda, um, extra squishy."

"What about the whole 'surgery might kill you' thing?" Bryce asked.

"And so might not having it." Chuck shook his head. "I'm not afraid of dying. Not anymore. I'm more afraid of not living."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

Chuck shook his head again. "No. I wasn't living before the Intersect, before Sarah. I wasn't dead. But I wasn't really alive."

"But what if she tells you that she'll stay, even if you're not the Intersect anymore?"

"Would that be fair to her? To ask her to give up everything? Her life, her career – all she's accomplished – just to be with a brain damaged schmuck like me? Is that fair?"

"Isn't that her choice to make? If you're choosing for her, isn't that exactly what I did to you when I sent you the Intersect?"

Chuck shook his head. "But that's not it. I mean…"

"That's exactly it. If you choose the Intersect because you want to be a hero in Sarah's eyes…"

"I don't want to be a hero," Chuck retorted. "I'm just not the hero type. Clearly."

"So we're quoting 'Iron Man' now?"

Chuck shrugged. "Would you prefer 'With great power comes great responsibility'?"

Bryce looked suddenly serious. "Actually, I would. You're destined for great things, Chuck. You always have been. You have to ask yourself. How can I do the most good in the world?"

"Is that why you became a spy, Bryce? To do good in the world?"

Bryce smiled. "Nope." He put on his 'spy sunglasses.' "I did it for the shades. Chicks dig the shades."

Chuck laughed. Bryce took off the shades.

"Talk to Sarah," Bryce said. "Talk it out with her. You owe her, and yourself, that much."

"But you know what I'm going to do," Chuck said. "What I have to do."

Bryce nodded. "Of course. But make her a part of the decision. Let her understand why."

Chuck smiled. "You know, I give great advice."

Bryce smiled back. "Yeah, I do."

*****************************

Chuck sat up in bed. Sarah was curled up on the couch across the room, asleep. He carefully slipped out of bed and tip-toed across the room to her. He pulled the blanket over her and kissed her gently on the forehead. Tomorrow, they would talk.

He slipped back into bed and into dreamless sleep.


	10. Decisions, Decisions Part I

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 10a

Decisions, Decisions

Part I - Prelude

Sarah woke up on the couch in Chuck's room. She stood, yawned and stretched. Chuck was still asleep and there was a smile on his face. She hoped he was having pleasant dreams. She resisted the urge to kiss him on the forehead – someone might be watching the room on the monitors – and settled for smoothing out his blankets over his sleeping form.

She slipped out and down the hall to her room. She started to change into her workout clothes, but decided there simply wasn't enough time. Things were moving quickly and she needed to gather all the intel that she could before… before Andi Parker took a knife to Chuck's brain. She showered and dressed instead, again choosing flattering clothes and taking the time to get her makeup just right. She hadn't had the opportunity to talk to Dr. Forrest, Andi Parker's assistant, alone yet, but today she would find some way to make the opportunity.

She hurried back down to Chuck's room. He was still asleep. Then she had an idea. She smiled and slipped into his bed. She knew exactly how sensitive the audio pickups in the room were.

There wasn't much room in the bed, so their bodies were pressed close together. Chuck murmured and then put his arm around her. Sarah felt a little thrill as he nuzzled his face into her neck. She slipped her own arm around him and pulled him close, shifting slightly so that her mouth was mere inches from his ear. To an observer, it looked like they were merely snuggling in bed together. "Chuck," she whispered. "Wake up."

"Hmmm?" Chuck mumbled.

"Chuck," Sarah whispered. "Wake up, but pretend you're still asleep."

Chuck's eyes flickered open, then he quickly closed them again. "Sarah?" he asked in a whisper.

"Good morning, Chuck. I want you to do me a favor. A big, big, favor."

"Mmm hmmm," Chuck hummed softly.

"Doctor Parker is coming by this morning. When she does, I want you to throw a big snit. Yell at her. Call her a butcher. Just chase her out of the room before she can ask you about the procedure. I need a little more time. Can you do that?"

"Mmm hmmm," Chuck murmured.

"No, Chuck, don't go to sleep. Tell me what you're going to do."

Sarah felt Chuck's hand shift slightly on her back and it sent a thrill rushing up her spine and then right back down. He nuzzled his lips close to her ear and whispered, "Chase Andi out of the room. You don't want to talk to her about the surgery yet."

"Good boy," Sarah said. "There'll be a reward for you later."

"You mean this isn't my reward?" Chuck asked quietly and then buried his face in her neck.

Now for the cameras. "Wake up, Chuck," Sarah said softly, but loud enough for the microphones to hear. "We have a big day today, you have to wake up."

Chuck, bless him, acted his part well. He groaned loudly and turned over as if going back to sleep, but not before pinning Sarah to the bed, she noticed wryly.

"You know," Sarah said. "I'm going to have to use the special technique that Ellie taught me."

"Five more minutes," Chuck moaned.

Sarah slid her hand sensuously down his side until her fingers were just below his ribcage – and then began to wiggle them wildly.

"Wha Ha!" Chuck yelled. "Stop!"

Sarah slid her other hand around to the other side and began to repeat the procedure. "Why do you think I got in bed with you?" she asked. "The special Ellie Bartowski wakeup Chuck technique!"

Chuck started howling now. "I'll get up! I'll get up!"

Sarah slipped out of the bed and straightened her dress. She had a wicked smile on her face. "Get up and shower and get dressed," she said. "Doctor Parker is coming by this morning."

Chuck rolled out of bed and gave her a wide grin. Then he turned so his back was to the room camera and stretched, but at the same time gave Sarah a quick wink. He padded off to the bathroom and turned on the water.

"Ellie told me to tell you that she had the early shift this morning so she couldn't come by until later," Sarah yelled over the water.

"Okay," Chuck called back.

Sarah straightened Chuck's bed and then turned to the mirror to make sure she was presentable. There was a knock at the door and the orderly came in with a cart and two trays. Fruit and juice for Sarah. Fruit Loops and milk for Chuck.

"Thank you," Sarah said, nodding at the Fruit Loops.

The orderly shrugged. "Hey, this is nothing compared to some of the weird requests that we get."

Sarah poured coffee and nibbled on a strawberry while Chuck showered. Sarah got out some clothes for Chuck and laid them out on the bed. She heard the shower end. "I'll step outside while you dress," she said. Considering the various states of undress he had seen her in, Chuck was still incredibly nervous letting Sarah see him anything less than fully clothed.

A few minutes later, the door to the room opened and Chuck poked his head out. "I'm decent now," he said.

"Well, that's debatable," Sarah countered with a smile and stepped into the room.

Chuck stepped over to where their breakfast had been set out. "Fruit Loops!" he said, happily.

"Just for you, Chuck," Sarah said. It always amazed her that Chuck could be so mature and so much like a big kid at the same time. They finished eating and Sarah cleaned away the dishes while Chuck went to go brush his teeth.

There was a knock at the door and Doctor Parker entered, looking perfectly put together as always in her expensive suit topped with a white lab coat.

Chuck stepped out of the bathroom and when he saw her, he paused and closed his eyes.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he snapped at her.

"Chuck," Sarah said gently. "Remember, Andi said she would stop by…"

"Dammit stop talking to me like I'm a three year old!" Chuck barked at Sarah. He spun and glared at Andi. "I am tired of all this pressure and I am tired of you telling me what to do," he barked. "It's like some bad zombie movie – Brains! Brains!"

"Mr. Bartowski. Chuck," Andi said soothingly. "I'm here to help you."

"By cutting open my skull! You're a damn butcher! All you doctors are. Get out. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!" He took a step toward her and Andi actually shrank back.

Sarah interposed herself between Chuck and the doctor. "Chuck. Please. Calm down. This isn't like you."

"Don't you start on me Sarah," Chuck snapped.

Sarah turned and looked at Andi. She was pulling a syringe out of her coat pocket. Sarah grabbed her arm before Chuck could see the needle. "Wait," Sarah hissed. She turned back and looked at Chuck. "Chuck, Andi and I are going to step outside and let you calm down." She hustled Andi out of the room.

As soon they were outside, Sarah turned to Andi. "You need to give me a little time," Sarah said. "General Beckman ordered me to get him to consent to the surgery and I'm working on it, but he's worried and it's going to take me a little bit to convince him. I promise. We'll stop by your office later. Okay?"

Andi smiled. It was a triumphant smile. "Of course, Sarah. I know how much Chuck trusts you. If anyone can convince him of just how important this surgery is, it's you."

"I will," Sarah said. "I better get back in there."

Andi nodded and set off down the hall. Sarah slipped back into the room. Chuck threw himself at her and hugged her. "Oh, Sarah, I'm so sorry," he moaned. "I don't know what came over me."

"Laying it on a bit thick, Chuck," Sarah whispered.

Chuck relaxed a little. "I just… I'm… Is Andi okay? I didn't hurt her or scare her, did I?" he asked for the microphones. Then he hugged her and whispered. "How did I do?"

Sarah patted his back as if consoling him. "The Candle 'Sick and Tired' lyrics were a little much," she whispered.

Chuck pretended to calm down. "I'm okay," he said. "I.. I'm sorry. I just can't control it lately," he said.

"It's okay, Chuck," Sarah said. "How about I take you down to Doctor Schultz's lab for your physical therapy and then we can take a walk and talk about it?"

"Okay," Chuck said. It was obviously he was still a little confused by her earlier request, but it was a good sign he complied without question.

*****************************

Sarah dropped Chuck off at his session with Doctor Schultz and then excused herself. She headed to 'Casey's office.' Once inside, she noted the upside down sticky on the computer indicated he had swept for bugs that morning. She pulled out her cell phone and called Ellie.

"Hi, Ellie, it's Sarah?... Fine, fine. How are you?"… Yeah, he was a little restless last night at first, but then he settled down and seemed to sleep okay… How is Devon?... Mmm Hmm. That's good. Listen, did you have a chance to check out that pill with your pharmacist?... Really?... That's interesting… No, I have no idea why they would have that on hand… No. Nothing to do with Chuck… Don't worry. I'll take care of it… Thanks, Ellie… Yeah, you, too. See you later… Bye."

Sarah hung up and booted up her computer. The drug Parker had been giving Chuck was an experimental drug called Citropene which had been banned by the FDA. Sarah accessed the CIA drug database and looked up Citropene. Citropene had been developed to reduce swelling in head trauma cases and actually had some effect in reducing swelling and easing the pain caused thereby. However, it had a serious side effect in that it caused uncontrollable rage in subjects if given in high enough doses. The CIA kept a stock on hand for that very purpose. It was sometimes useful to have a subject lose control.

"That bitch," Sarah whispered.

She checked the security feeds. Andi had entered her office and not left and Nate Forrest was apparently in the lab. Sarah had her opportunity. She slipped out of her office and tried not to run as she made her way to the lab. She knocked on the door and Nate Forrest answered. His confused expression turned into a wide, toothy grin at seeing Sarah.

"I'm sorry," Nate said. "Andi's not here."

"I'm so sorry," Sarah said, gently touching Nate's arm. "I think I left my book in here after the last session. Could I look for it?"

"Uh, sure," Nate said, stepping back and letting Sarah into the lab.

"Oh, thank you, Nate," she gushed. If there was one thing Sarah Walker knew other than knives, it was how to seduce men. She turned on the charm for Nate. Sarah walked over to the chairs in which she usually sat, adding a subtle extra sway to her hips as she did.

She bent over, heels together, and picked up the book. "Here it is," she said. "I'm forever forgetting it somewhere."

"Wha… What are you reading?" Nate asked.

Sarah walked over to him and brushed up against him as she held out the book for him to see. "Something called the 'Lord of the Rings' ever heard of it?"

"Oh, wow, that's one of my favorites!" Nate said.

"Really?" Sarah gushed. She set down the book and slid up on the lab table. "You know, it seems like Doctor Parker relies on you a lot. You must be pretty good at all this."

Nate shrugged and blushed a little. "Well, I don't like to brag, but you know some of Andi's recent papers? They were based on my ideas."

"Really," Sarah said. "So you're really more like her collaborator than her assistant."

Nate straightened a little. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am," he said.

"So you must be getting pretty famous," Sarah said.

"Well, the papers were in Andi's… Doctor Parker's name so no one really… I mean, she did a lot of the work so…"

Sarah frowned. "That doesn't seem fair," she said. "I thought you said they were your ideas?"

"Well, they were," Nate said. "But sometimes, you know, when you're working with someone as well known as Doctor Parker, you just have to, um, you know, wait your turn."

"Well, it doesn't sound fair at all to me," Sarah said. She cocked her head to one side as if a thought just occurred to her. "I bet you're the one who came up with Chuck's diagnosis and treatment."

"Well," Nate said, looking at his shoes. "Doctor Parker did ask my advice about his case. And, well, yeah, I suppose I came up with the diagnosis."

"So you think his little fits of rage are going to get worse? It could endanger his life?"

Nate looked uncomfortable. "Well, sometimes in cases like these, it's rather hard to tell… I mean, there's so much about the human brain we…" An agent was trained to spot the tell-tale signs of picking out truth from lies. Doctor Forrest was such a horrible liar that Sarah wouldn't have even needed the rudimentary course. "I guess if Doctor Parker told you that, then it must… be true. She is, after all, the expert."

Sarah looked into Nate's eyes and gave him her best poor, innocent, helpless girl look. "Please, Nate, just tell me. Do you think Chuck has to have the surgery?"

Nate looked around nervously. "I…" He looked at Sarah and swallowed hard. "If Doctor Parker says so."

"Or he'll die?" Sarah asked.

"Well, he'll definitely need the surgery to access the Intersect," Nate said. "Isn't that what's important? And it would tell us an awful lot about how the Intersect works."

Sarah smiled at him. She slid off the table and laid a hand gently on Nate's arm. "Thank you so much. You've been very helpful." She picked up her book and sauntered out of the room. "I hope we can chat again."

"Oh, anytime, anytime," Nate said.

As soon as she was out of the lab and the door clicked shut behind her, she allowed herself the shudder she had been suppressing. After all her time spent with Chuck, it was getting harder and harder to play the seductress without feeling dirty. Not that Doctor Forrest was all that bad compared to some of her earlier marks, but it still felt like she was cheating on Chuck. It was clear that Forrest was hopelessly infatuated by and loyal to Parker. Although hopefully Sarah had put a few chinks in that armor. And she had to remember that for all his golly-gee-whiz earnestness, Doctor Nathan Forrest had no doubt been complicit in four murders and had been the one who actually arranged for Chuck's multiple doses of Citropene. No. She definitely wouldn't forget that.

******************************

Sarah hurried down to the kitchen and made a special request to the staff and then hurried to the workout room. She still made it in time for the very end of Chuck's physical therapy session.

"How's he doing?" she asked the tall, thin physical therapist.

"Great, aren't we Chuck?" Kate said.

"You got a mouse with you, because I wouldn't exactly call your torture 'great' oh Madam de Sade." After a joke about the Marquis de Sade the first day, Chuck had taken to calling the physical therapy his 'torture conditioning' and his therapist 'Madam de Sade.' But Chuck was smiling. He had made tremendous progress and was rapidly getting back to normal.

"So Sarah, Madam de Sade says that after I'm up and running, learning some self-defense moves would actually be good therapy for me." Sarah frowned. She and Casey had debated giving Chuck rudimentary self-defense and weapons training. They had decided that Chuck, being Chuck, would simply then be even more likely to rush into even more dangerous situations.

"We'll talk to Casey about that later," she said.

"Oh brother," Chuck said and rolled his eyes.

Sarah chatted with Doctor Schultz about Chuck's progress while Chuck changed out of his 'workout clothes' and into his 'street clothes.'

"Come on," Sarah said. "I have a surprise for you."

Instead of going back to his room, she led him to the kitchen. "Agent Walker," said the head chef, a rotund man with a close-cropped beard and a bald head. "I have your basket right here. I think you will enjoy it. No wine, I'm afraid. That's against the rules. But I did put in a bottle of sparkling white grape juice."

"Thanks, Emil," Sarah said, accepting the picnic basket.

"Come on, Chuck," she said. "We're going on a picnic."

Like any good agent, Sarah had scouted the location in advance. There was a small hill that had a nice view of the city through a small break in the surrounding trees. A hedge blocked the hill from sightline of the facility. The hill supported one of the ornamental towers but the picnic site Sarah had selected was actually close enough to the tower to be in a blind spot. On a 'walk' for 'air' earlier, Sarah had surreptitiously swept the area for listening devices and found none. The grounds were simply too large to have every bit of it covered by microphones.

Of all the spots she had scoped out, this was the most private and, only incidentally, the most romantic. A flower-lined walkway wound around the base of the hill and added a splash of color to the lush green of the lawn.

Emil had included a traditional red and white checkered blanket which Sarah spread on the ground. Chuck sat down and Sarah knelt by the basket and began to remove goodies. Fresh-grilled paninis, fruit, figs, olives, even an assortment of hand-made chocolate truffles. Sarah smiled contentedly as she set out the plates, flatware and napkins. She handed Chuck the bottle of sparkling white wine. "Here," she said. "Make yourself useful."

Chuck smiled and took the bottle. He tore off the foil, unwrapped the wire cage holding the cork and then bit his bottom lip as he worked the cork free. At last, as it was almost ready to come out, he pointed the bottle down the slope and rested his thumb on the top of it. "Ready?" he asked. Sarah nodded. He gave the cork a last thump. Nothing. Sarah laughed and Chuck gave her a faux dirty look. He worked the cork a little further and then pointed it down slope again. Sarah smiled and Chuck popped the cork and sent it sailing far down the slope.

Chuck and Sarah both laughed and Chuck got out the champagne flutes to pour them each a glass. Chuck held out a glass to Sarah. "Thank you," she said with a slight nod.

Chuck held up his own glass, swirled it around and took a deep sniff. Then he took an exaggeratedly small but noisy sip. "Ah, 2009 Chateau de Welch's. A very fine year."

Sarah laughed and slapped him playfully on the arm. Chuck turned to her and held up his glass. "To the smartest, most beautiful, most kick-ass agent in the entire CIA," he said.

Sarah managed not to blush as she gently touched her glass to his, the crystal touching with a faint 'ping.' They each took a sip and Sarah turned back to serving lunch.

"This is really nice, Sarah," Chuck said.

Sarah smiled at him. For a moment, just for a moment, it was nice to pretend that they were a real couple. That this was a real picnic somewhere not within a heavily fortified CIA compound. That they were just two normal people enjoying a normal, romantic picnic.

"Bugs!" Chuck cried, snapping Sarah out of her reverie.

Sarah immediately turned on Agent Mode and scanned the surroundings. She had been so careful sweeping the grounds. Had someone discovered her plan? Come here before her and wired the place to listen in on her conversation with Chuck? She looked over at Chuck. He had jumped to his feet and was frantically brushing at his pants.

"Ants!" he cried.

Sarah stared at him for a minute, open mouthed, then started laughing. Chuck glared at her. "It's not funny," he said. "Ant bites hurt."

Sarah stood and helped Chuck exterminate any remaining holdouts and then they moved the blanket over out of the ant trail. Sarah was still grinning. She had been so careful to scout the location from a spy perspective that she had forgotten to check for the more mundane threats. Like ants.

"I'm sorry," she laughed as they sat back down on the blanket.

"Hey, it wouldn't be a picnic without ants," he said. "You probably had them specially imported from a secret CIA ant-training facility."

Sarah, who had been taking a sip of her 'champagne', started laughing and inhaled a bit and then started coughing. She alternated between laughing and coughing while Chuck gently tapped her back.

"Come on," he said. "It wasn't that funny."

The meal was wonderful. They ate half-reclining on the blanket while chatting amiably about nothing in particular. They both studiously avoided any talk about the CIA, the NSA, the Intersect, Chuck's condition or Parker's proposed treatment. For a little while, at least, they were a normal couple having a normal picnic on a nice grassy hill in a pretty park.

They finished and Chuck helped Sarah pick up the dishes and leftovers and pack them in the basket.

"Shall we head back?" Chuck asked.

"No," Sarah said. "I chose this spot for a reason, Chuck. So we could talk in private. No bugs, no cameras, no surveillance." She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "We have to talk about Doctor Parker and the surgery."

Chuck looked a little crestfallen. Did he think she had planned this whole thing just so they could have a picnic? Of course he had. That's what a real girlfriend would have done. Sarah glanced down at the charm bracelet dangling from her wrist. A real girlfriend.

Sarah sighed. Chuck's life was on the line. She was his handler. No. She was his _protector_. She had to get her head in the game.

Sarah looked back up at Chuck and to her surprise he took her hand and held it gently. "I know. We do need to talk. About a lot of things." He paused. "It's just…" He glanced over at the long slope leading down to the view of the city. "Well, it was nice to pretend for awhile. Thank you."

Sarah felt her heart catch in her throat. 'Pretend.' The word hit her like a slap. 'Cover girlfriend.' 'Fake relationship.' 'Pretend picnic.' Part of her wanted so much to say it wasn't pretend. To say how much this had meant to her. But she had to protect him and part of that was keeping her professional distance, as hard as that was. And it was becoming harder by the moment. Did she have the strength to do what came next? She took a deep breath and forged ahead.

_To be continued…_

***********************************

***********************************

Author's note: Okay. I'm terrible. All the incredibly kind reviewers said they are so ready for _'the talk'_ and it's coming. Right now. Well, obviously not right _now_. But the next half of Chapter 10. The chapter was just getting so big that I needed to be split it up. So 10b is coming soon. I promise. Hey, have I ever lied to you before? Okay, have I lied to you yet today?


	11. Decisions, Decisions Part II

As promised, the continuation of Chapter 10.

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 10b

Decisions, Decisions

Part II – The Talk

You could not ask for a more perfect setting. The sky was a perfect cerulean blue with just a few fluffy white clouds to accent the depth of the color. The perfectly manicured lawn was a verdant green bordered by a riot of colors from the flower-lined walk that bordered the base of the hill. Even the picnic itself was like something from a fifties postcard with the tan wicker basket perched on the red and white checkered blanket. And his eyes… His eyes were the warmest, most soul-jarring brown. You could get lost in those eyes and never come back. Oh how she longed to get lost in them.

His hand gently massaged the back of hers, the exact way he had when he had given her the charm bracelet that adorned her wrist. He was looking in her eyes and his smile slowly morphed into a look of concern. "I know," he said. "We do need to talk. About a lot of things." He paused. "It's just…" He glanced over at the long slope leading down to the view of the city. "Well, it was nice to pretend for awhile. Thank you."

Sarah felt her heart catch in her throat. 'Pretend.' The word hit her like a slap. 'Cover girlfriend.' 'Fake relationship.' 'Pretend picnic.' Part of her wanted so much to say it wasn't pretend. To say how much this had meant to her. But she had to protect him and part of that was keeping her professional distance, as hard as that was. And it was becoming harder by the moment. Did she have the strength to do what came next? It would be so much easier if he wasn't still holding her hand.

Sarah took a deep breath and forged ahead.

"General Beckman ordered me to convince you to have the surgery," she said. Her voice sounded flat in her own ears. Such a setting, and here she was talking about work. Nothing for it but to forge ahead. "She values the Intersect and she wants to make sure that she still has access to it while they rebuild the new Intersect computer."

Chuck looked at her and sighed. "So you want me to have the surgery," he said.

Sarah shook her head. "That's not what I said," she replied. "I said _the General_ ordered me to convince you to have the surgery."

Chuck frowned. "I don't understand."

"I want you to know where the CIA stands, Chuck. Or at least, where General Beckman stands."

"Because you hope I'll go along," Chuck said

"No," Sarah said, swallowing the lump in her throat. "Because I hope you don't. I don't want you to have the surgery, Chuck. But you need to know what you're up against."

Chuck looked confused. "You don't want me to have the surgery?"

Sarah put her hand on top of the one that still held hers, so that Chuck's hand was between the two of hers. "No, Chuck, I don't want you to have the surgery. It's too dangerous. And I don't trust Andi Parker. She's been playing us and I don't like to be played."

"Playing us?" Chuck asked.

Sarah outlined it all for him. The subtle manipulation of them both. The Citropene when it looked like he was getting better so it would appear that his bouts of anger were getting worse, not better. The four Fulcrum agents she had killed in order to learn the secrets that their brains held: the secrets of how the Intersect worked. Her ambitious nature. And how General Beckman was complicit in all of this.

Chuck had grown more and more agitated as she laid out the whole story. Finally he asked, "Does Casey know?"

"Casey's been helping me with the investigation, Chuck," Sarah said. "Even when I didn't have anything more to go on than a gut feeling, he stuck by me." Chuck seemed to relax a little at that, and Sarah began to realize just how much Casey had come to mean to Chuck.

Chuck nodded. "Good."

"So you won't have the surgery?" Sarah asked.

Chuck looked off into the distance and sat for a long time, just staring. Sarah started to say something, but realized he was collecting his thoughts.

"You know I'm crazy about you," he said, finally. It was a statement, not a question. There was another long, pause, then he turned to look at her. "I just want you to know how much I care about you, Sarah."

He took her hand and caressed it, as he had before. His hands felt so soft and warm. The smooth hands of a computer technician, not the rough hands of a laborer. Sarah couldn't meet his eyes. She looked down at her hand in his.

Chuck took a deep breath and continued. "All my life, I've let other people control me, control my destiny. After my mother left, I became the perfect son, because I thought maybe if I could be perfect, then maybe she would come back. Then Dad left. The reasons are… complicated. But he took off one day and left Ellie and me on our own. So when I got a scholarship to Stanford, I became an engineering major, because I thought it would make Dad proud of me, and I really, really wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted his approval."

"And then Bryce got me kicked out of Stanford and Jill dumped me and told me she slept with Bryce. And I let them control me. I wasted the next five years of my life working at the Buy More, feeling sorry for myself, pining for a life I thought I had lost."

"And then Bryce sent me that email. The Intersect. And once again, Bryce was in control of my life. _He_ chose me. I didn't choose this. I didn't _get_ to choose. And now I realize, that it was Stanford all over again. My life changed overnight and all I could think of, all I could do, was to try and get my old life back. A life I didn't even want in the first place."

He reached up and ran a hand through his hair. Sarah was mesmerized. He was staring off into the distance now; his eyes unfocused. As if talking to himself as much as to her.

"I wanted to go back to a normal life that never really existed. A life where Bryce was my enemy and Jill was someone I wanted to reconnect with and not a Fulcrum agent." He turned back to Sarah. "But don't you see? That old life, my old life, it was a lie. I wanted normal but my life had never been normal and never could be normal."

Sarah blinked back the tears. Chuck reached up and brushed a stray hair back behind her ear. The exact motion she had taught him to use to seduce Jill. But this was genuine. This was real. And she involuntarily leaned a little as he took he hand away just so she could keep contact a fraction of a second longer.

"You know," Chuck continued. "I've spent the last two years cursing the day that Bryce sent me the Intersect as the worst day of my life. But I've come to realize, I shouldn't be cursing Bryce for destroying my life. I should be thanking him for saving it. For sending me the two things that have shaped my life ever since and made me the man that I should have been: the Intersect… and Sarah Walker."

Sarah felt her throat tighten and she started to speak, but Chuck laid two fingers on her lips. "Let me finish," he said. "Please."

"When Bryce was here last, he told me that he sent me the Intersect because he knew I would do the right thing. And now I have to do the right thing. I have to live my life. My way. And I have to do what I know is right. I have to stop being a victim and I have to stop living for other people, no matter who they are…" he ran a finger down Sarah's cheek, "or how much they mean to me."

"Sarah, let me ask you a question. And I want you to tell me the truth. I know you've lied to me in the past to protect me." At that, Sarah suddenly couldn't meet his gaze and looked away. "But it's time for honesty. When I first woke up after I was shot, you said it was foolish to risk myself for you. Why?"

Sarah wet her lips. What could she say? That it was foolish to risk yourself for me because I would gladly give my life for you? The old walls, the old barriers, were crumbling, but the foundations ran deep. When all else failed, be the spy.

"Because it was my job to protect you. Because you're…" she stopped. She suddenly realized what he was saying and she couldn't go there. She couldn't admit it.

"Because I'm the Intersect," he said. "Or I was and maybe I can be again. Sarah, you and Casey, for the past two years you've been willing to risk your lives to keep the Intersect safe. Not to keep Chuck Bartowski safe, but the Intersect. And if having the Intersect is important enough to two of the people I respect and care about the most in this world, then shouldn't it be that important to me? Shouldn't I be willing to put my life on the line, too?"

"But Chuck," Sarah said. "We made the choice, Casey and I. We _chose_ this life. You didn't."

"And now it's my turn to choose," Chuck said.

"No," Sarah said, her face a mask of anguish. "I can't let you do that. I can't let you die. I…" And now the tears started to fall. This wasn't what she had expected. Wasn't what she had planned. She would tell Chuck about Parker and he wouldn't have the surgery and he wouldn't be the Intersect anymore. And then she could decide what that meant for her. This wasn't what was supposed to happen!

"But you'll die," she finally managed to say.

"You don't know that," Chuck said. "Maybe as to the Intersect, Doctor Parker is telling the truth. You said even Doctor Forrest believed it. Believed that the operation could restore the Intersect."

"But Doctor Forrest killed those four Fulcrum agents," Sarah protested.

"And you'll make sure she doesn't do the same to me," Chuck said. "I trust you."

"Don't," Sarah pleaded. "Don't trust me. Don't have the surgery. Just walk away. I don't know what…" Her voice died away in her throat and she tried to swallow the lump there that just wouldn't go away.

Chuck touched her hair. "We'll get someone else to do the surgery, if that will make you feel better," Chuck said. "Maybe Doctor Forrest. Or maybe Ellie or Devon…"

"No, Chuck. Don't…" She angrily wiped away a tear spilling down her cheek. "Dammit, why do you always have to try and be the hero?"

"I don't want to be a hero," Chuck said. "I certainly don't feel like a hero. Hell, I've never been so scared in all my life and I've been dangled off buildings." This last was delivered in inimitable Chuck style and was obviously intended to make her laugh and it succeeded. At least if that half-choke between the tears could be called a laugh.

Sarah looked in his eyes. He was serious. Deadly serious. The man she… Yes, dammit, the man she _loved_ was about to go all Don Quixote on her and tilt at windmills. How often in the past, during missions, had she wished he would be a little braver, a little less of the shrinking violet. Yes, she thought guilty, she had wished he could be a little more like Bryce. And yet now that he was stepping up in a way she never could have guessed, she just wanted the coward back.

"I have to do this, Sarah," he said.

Sarah felt her chest constricting. _This wasn't how it was supposed to happe_n! Chuck was smiling at her and she had never felt prouder of him and loved him and hated him more than she did at that moment. She couldn't lose him. Not now. Not like this!

There was one last card to play. One last argument. One final way to turn him from this mad path. "You can't do it. You can't do it because…" She hesitated. All her CIA training, everything her father had taught her, all the walls she had erected after her mother's death told her not to take this last step. Not to do the one last thing that could save him. Not to admit what she couldn't even admit to herself before today. But it was _Chuck_. If he was worth dying for, then wasn't he worth the death of her fear, her pride, her comfortable detachment?

She forced the words out. The hardest words she had ever uttered in her life. But once they started, they came tumbling out like an avalanche. "You can't do it because I love you and I can't imagine living without you."

She lunged at him and grabbed him and wrapped her arms around him as if she could keep away the entire world simply by holding him. She was laughing and crying at the same time, her tears soaking into his shirt. "Damn you Chuck Bartowski I love you. I've loved you from the moment you made that stupid tape for that stupid father and his stupid ballerina daughter."

Chuck pulled her away and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "You don't know how long I've wanted to hear you say that," he said. "You don't know how much I've ached to hear those words."

"Well, dammit don't you have something to say to me?" she asked.

He grinned that soul-melting grin of his and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Sarah Walker. "I think I've love you my whole life."

Sarah sniffed back the tears. "Thank you," she said. "But that's not what I want to hear. I want you to say that you're not going to have the surgery."

Chuck looked at her and licked his lips. Sarah had long ago learned to read Chuck Bartowski like a book and she knew that look. In that moment, she knew. She knew that no matter how much she loved him and how much he loved her, he would still do what he thought was right and the world be damned.

"You're still going to do it, aren't you? You're still going to have the surgery."

Chuck nodded slowly.

Sarah pulled away from him. "But you can't! I _said_ I _love you_! How can you… Why would you…"

Chuck reached out for her and took her hands. To her surprise, she didn't resist.

"I have to, Sarah," he said. "It's the right thing to do. I love you and I will always love you and _God_ I wish I didn't have to do this, but I do. And you know it. Deep down, you know it. If I didn't do it, then I wouldn't be the same man who made that stupid tape for that stupid father and his stupid ballerina daughter."

And once again, amid all the angst and anger and pathos, he made her laugh again. Or at least a short cough that could have been a laugh.

"But I thought if I told you how I felt," Sarah said. "If you only knew how much I care about you. How much I need you. You wouldn't go through with this."

"But that's the very reason I have to," he said. "Sarah, don't you see? It's because of you that I have the strength to do this. Without you, without what you've taught me, without what you've made me, I couldn't do this. I wouldn't have the courage."

_This wasn't how it was supposed to happen_! She was supposed to say, 'I love you' and then he'd say, 'I love you, too,' and then they were supposed to live happily ever after. The prince was supposed to stop fighting dragons after he met the princess.

"So you want to die," Sarah said angrily and turned her back on him.

Chuck moved toward her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. She didn't resist. "No!" he said softly in her ear. "God no! I've never felt more alive than I do this very moment. I feel… I feel like I could fly. I feel like I could lick Casey in hand to hand combat. I feel… I feel like I've finally woken up after being asleep for the last seven years."

Sarah took a ragged breath and held it, then slowly let it out. "Please, Sarah," Chuck said. "I thought you, of all people, would understand."

Sarah felt the tears well up in her eyes again. "I do," she said. "That's the problem. I do. And, damn you Chuck Bartowski, it only makes me love you more." She turned around and kissed him. A long, slow, tender kiss. It didn't have the fire or the wild exuberance of their kiss on the docks, or their 'Roan kiss', but it was infinitely better. Those kisses had been born of equal parts passion and frustration. This kiss was born of love and tenderness. And it made her toes curl.

After what seems like mere moments but also like a lifetime, they parted and Chuck reached up and gently caressed her cheek. "So now what?" he asked softly.

"Now," Sarah said. "It's time Team Bartowski started kicking some butt."


	12. Anticipation

Wow! Some very, very kind reviews for Chapter 10, especially the second half. Y'all are gonna make me blush.

And just for you, **Poa**, a chapter with a little extra Casey.

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 11

Anticipation

A myriad of thoughts were swirling through Sarah Walker's head as she lay awake in bed staring at the ceiling. They could all be summed up in one phrase, however: 'Damn you Chuck Bartowski.' For two years she had dreamed, when she let herself dream, of when she and Chuck Bartowski would declare their love for each other. It would be a romantic dinner, or maybe a walk on the beach. He would look in her eyes and say, 'I love you, Sarah Walker,' and then she would say, 'I love you, too, Chuck.' Then they would kiss and he would make mad, passionate love to her all night long. Sarah had never been a romantic – the years of dodging the authorities with her Father and the years of seducing marks for the CIA didn't exactly allow for any romance. Even when she was with Bryce: Bryce had been charming, Bryce had been sophisticated, Bryce had been sexy as hell. But Bryce was too cynical to be a real romantic.

And then she had met Chuck Bartowski. And Ellie Bartowski. And Devon Woodcomb. And she had arranged for the CIA to fill Ellie's apartment with rose petals. And she had watched Devon propose with a ring that has been fished out of a garbage dumpster minutes before. And Sarah had begun to understand and to want a little romance in her life. She had begun, more specifically, to dream about romance with Chuck Bartowski. And that dream had most often centered on the day that they each said 'I love you.'

And then it happened. Yesterday, in as perfect a setting as she had dreamed, she had finally told Chuck Bartowski 'I love you.' And Chuck had said 'I love you,' back. And yet here she was, lying in bed contemplating the fact that life was completely and utterly unfair because: (a) she was sleeping alone; (b) Chuck was sleeping alone; (c) they couldn't tell anyone that they were in love; and (d) she was about to tell both General Beckman and the woman she had come to hate the most in the world, Doctor Andi Parker, that Sarah had convinced a reluctant Chuck to have risky brain surgery so that he could once again be the Intersect.

So, 'Damn you Chuck Bartowski' she thought. 'Damn you for being such a good, honest person. Damn you for insisting on being the hero (again). Damn you for being right about what we have to do. Damn you for caring enough about me that you didn't throw me to the ground and have your way with me. Damn you for making me fall in love with you.'

Sarah blew out a breath, pulled off the covers and got out of bed. She wasn't going to get back to sleep anyway. She changed from her nightie into her workout clothes and headed for the workout room. An hour or so of beating the heavy bag to a pulp would help with this sexual frustration.

She was startled when she entered the workout room and heard someone already there. Who could be working out at this hour? Who even used this workout room besides her and Chuck? She automatically reached for the gun in her waistband only to stop upon remembering that she didn't carry her gun here in a secure CIA facility.

"You're up early, Walker," a familiar gravelly voice said. "Thought you and your boy-toy would be sleeping in after your picnic yesterday." John Casey was seated on the leg press, pressing an impressive amount of weight. With his scotch and cigars and green Buy More shirt it was sometimes hard to remember that Casey was a highly trained agent, which included a well-toned body he didn't get restocking DVD players.

"Good morning, Casey," Sarah said. "What are you doing here?"

"Perfecting my needlework. What does it look like I'm doing?"

Sarah sighed in exasperation. "I can see that," she said shaking her head. "You usually do your workouts in Castle."

"Better equipment here," Casey said. "Besides, when did you think I checked the security feeds and swept our office?"

Sarah was a little chagrined. Once again, it was easy to overlook John Casey's contributions because so much of it took place behind the scenes. "Well," he growled, "you just gonna stand around admiring my god-like physique or did you come here to work out?"

"Are we secure?" she asked. Casey nodded.

Sarah began to do her warm-up stretches while she filled Casey in. "Parker is definitely dirty. I talked to Doctor Forrest…"

"Talked. Hmmph," Casey snorted.

Sarah rolled her eyes and continued. "Parker ordered Chuck dosed with Citropene. It's an experimental drug for treating swelling in the brain that was never approved…"

"Used it in Afghanistan," Casey said through gritted teeth as he pushed the stack of weights up with his legs. "We were trying to convince a local chieftain that his son was a loose cannon. A little Citropene and the kid ended up trying to carve up daddy with a knife. Fun stuff."

Sarah nodded and stepped over to the bench press. She checked the weights and obviously Casey had already used the press because it was set ridiculously high. Casey was also stronger than he let on, she noted. She lay down on the bench and glanced over at Casey before she started.

"Chuck was getting better and having fewer… umph…" press up on the bar… "of his bouts with aggression so she thought she would make it look like he was relapsing." She continued to work the bar, pausing every so often her briefing to push the bar up. "She wants to operate on Chuck in the worst way. My guess is she's trying to ingratiate herself with Beckman by figuring out exactly how the Intersect works in the human brain. She needs to poke around in his head to do that."

"Are we really sure there's anything in there?" Casey said, moving to the next machine, the bicep curl.

As usual, Sarah ignored Casey's snide remark. "Chuck doesn't need surgery to return to normal…" she was interrupted by Casey snorting at the word 'normal'… "but the scarring from injury is preventing him from flashing."

"So no surgery. Chuck gets the Intersect out of his head. Mission over and I can go back to real spy work."

"Um, no," Sarah said.

"What?" Casey said, pausing. "What do you mean, 'no.'"

"Chuck is going to have the surgery," Sarah said, trying to keep the fear and nervousness out of her voice. "It's the only way he can be the Intersect again."

"But the geek's been trying to get rid of the Intersect since day one. Now he's going to go under the knife to keep it? Besides, I thought the surgery was risky. It could kill him or leave him a vegetable."

Now Sarah knew that Casey was worried, too. He'd just passed up the perfect opportunity for a dig at Chuck. "Yes, it could."

Casey stood up. "Then what the hell is Bartowski doing? Intersect gone, he gets on with his life, end of mission."

"It's not that simple. Beckman ordered me to convince Chuck to have the surgery. The Intersect has become too valuable to lose."

"Oh, so that's what the little picnic yesterday was all about. Take Chuck out, bat your eyes at him, and convince him that he really wants some psychopath cutting on his brain."

Sarah stopped and sat up. She looked at Casey. He was facing her, legs apart, elbows and knees slightly bent – fighting stance. Until that moment, she hadn't realized that Casey, in his own way, was just as compromised as she was. Chuck had gotten to the cold school killer the same way he had gotten to the ice queen assassin. Well, maybe not _exactly_ the same way. But Casey's body language said it all. Casey was willing to fight to save Chuck _from_ the government.

It was that moment, that little tell, that told her that somewhere along the way they had forged the final link in the chain. They really were a team, she realized: Sarah, Chuck and Casey. Team Bartowski. The most unlikely combination in the entire intelligence community. And as a member of the team, Casey deserved to know the truth.

Sarah took a deep breath. If she had read him wrong, she was about to destroy her career and insure that she was detailed to a CIA listening post in Nome, Alaska. "I tried to convince Chuck not to have the surgery," Sarah said.

Casey visibly relaxed. "Why?" he asked.

"Why do you think, John? Because it could kill him… or worse. Because Andrea Parker is a conniving bitch who can't be trusted. Because…"

'Because I love him more than life itself and I couldn't bear for anything to happen to him,' she thought. But she wasn't ready to go that far with Casey just yet.

"Because you're compromised," Casey said. Surprisingly, he said it as a simple statement of fact. No recriminations. No innuendo. No condemnation.

Sarah just looked at him and didn't say anything.

"So what happened? Why is he still going through with it?"

Sarah bit her bottom lip. She was not going to cry, dammit. Not in front of John Casey. She called on all her agent training to keep the quiver out of her voice. "Because he knows how important the Intersect is. Because he is going to insist on being the hero – again. Because he says that if John Casey, a man that he has come to respect and admire, is willing to risk his life for the Intersect, how can he do less?" Okay, so he actually had included Sarah in that last, but Casey didn't need to know that.

"Laying it on a little thick, aren't you, Walker?"

Sarah smiled. "He said it, John, not me."

"Stupid little shit," Casey muttered, but Sarah could see that he was a little misty-eyed. Not that she would ever point this out.

"So what now?" Casey asked.

"Chuck wants me to tell Beckman that he didn't want to do the surgery but I talked him into it."

Casey nodded. "Probably a good idea. For God's sake don't tell her you went against orders and tried to talk him out of it." Sarah couldn't help but smile. Her partner had her back. "What about Parker? Should I take her out?"

Sarah repressed the urge to say, 'yes.' It wasn't the time for that… yet. "No," Sarah said. "I don't know if anyone else is qualified to do the surgery. We need to find that out before we deal with Parker."

"But you said she can't be trusted," Casey said. "She operated on those four Fulcrum agents and look what happened to them?"

"I have an idea," Sarah said. "But I'm going to need your help."

*****************************************

"Excellent work, Agent Walker," General Beckman said. After finishing her workout, showering and changing, Sarah had gone to the officer and called Beckman to report that she had convinced a reluctant Chuck to have the surgery. "You're sure that the asset is not going to be any trouble on this?" Sarah noticed that Beckman was back to calling Chuck, 'the asset.' It must make it easier to order him to his potential death, Sarah thought bitterly.

"No, General. I was… very persuasive." There. Let Beckman think she had worked her sexual wiles on Chuck Bartowski. That way if the General found out when she and Chuck _finally_ consummated their relationship, Beckman would think that Sarah was merely exerting firmer control over her 'mark.'

"What about the sister, Doctor Bartowski. Do you think she'll be any trouble?"

"I will take care of that, too, General," Sarah said. "I've worked to build up a rapport with the asset's sister and future brother-in-law to insure that there is no resistance from that quarter." There. Now any time she and Ellie spent together would likewise be a means of exerting controlling over the asset. And after all this, she really did want to get to know Ellie better. Maybe now that she and Chuck were finally open about their feelings for each other, time with Ellie wouldn't be so awkward.

"Very good," Beckman said. "There were those who were beginning to doubt your suitability for the Intersect project, Agent Walker. This will go a long way to quelling those doubts."

"Thank you, ma'am," Sarah said. "I am just trying to do my job."

"Have you informed Doctor Parker?" Beckman asked.

"Not yet, General. Are we sure that Doctor Parker is the best person for the job? This is extremely difficult and delicate surgery. The loss of the Intersect would be catastrophic."

Beckman nodded. "The NSA thoroughly vetted all available neurologists and chose Doctor Parker. Her work is exemplary and she now has the necessary clearances. She has extensively studied Mr. Bartowski and the Intersect."

"I have no doubts about her credentials, ma'am," Sarah said. "But she has switched almost exclusively to research and, as I understand it, doesn't do much surgery anymore."

"She's still the best option," Beckman said. "That will be all, Agent Walker."

"Thank you, General."

As soon as the video feed ended, Sarah slumped. She spent a few moments gathering her thoughts and then looked at her watch. Chuck should be awake by now. She hurried down to his room.

Chuck was sitting up at the table in his room, a bowl of Nuddy Buddies in front of him and a plate of fruit and dry toast on a plate across from him. He stood up when she came in and his smile was as bright as the sun. "Good morning, Sarah," he said. "Look, they got me some Nuddy Buddies. I was feeling nostalgic."

Sarah smiled back. Chuck winked at her gave a subtle nod of his head. His hand was resting in his lap, out of sight of the room's cameras, with the thumb, index and pinkie fingers extended. Sarah was momentarily confused, but then remembered Ellie once making that sign to Devon and saying it was sign language for 'I love you.' She felt like her heart was going to burst. Chuck was telling her he loved her while still remembering her admonition that they still had to pretend like their cover relationship was still just a cover. It was all Sarah could do not to run over to him and throw herself in his arms. Now that there was a hole in the dike, she wasn't sure there were enough little Dutch boys in all the world to keep the dike from crumbling completely.

These first few days would be the worst, she thought. Then, soberly, if he has a few days.

"How did you sleep?" she asked, trying to remember her exact tone and inflection she used with Chuck before The Talk. She sat down in the chair across from him, in front of the fruit and toast.

"It took awhile to get to sleep," he said. "I had a lot on my mind. You know. All the things you said, yesterday."

"Well, I meant them all," Sarah said.

Chuck's face started to break out in a grin, but he quickly caught himself and made an exaggerated frown; he really wasn't very good at hiding his emotions. He spoke in measured tones. "I am still nervous about the surgery, but you have convinced me that it is the best thing for me to do. After all, I want to get back to normal."

Sarah frowned slightly. She really needed to work on Chuck's delivery. It had that same stilted nature now that it did when he 'confronted' her at Lon Kirk's yacht. "I'm sure you'll be fine," she lied. At least this time he knew she was lying and she was not lying to him, but rather to whoever might be watching them. "I'll go after breakfast to tell Doctor Parker that you are having the surgery."

"Great," Chuck said without conviction. What the hell. Beckman thought she had seduced him into this decision, might as well take advantage of it. She stood up and put her hands on his shoulders and started to gently massage them. Chuck gave her a slightly panicked look, but she nodded to let him know that everything was all right.

"I saw Casey this morning at the workout room," she said. "He's on board with the whole thing." She gave his shoulders a slightly harder squeeze to hopefully convey to him that they would talk more about Casey later.

"Good," Chuck said and she felt his shoulders relax slightly. He leaned back so that he was pressed up against her. It felt good. It felt right. And she would be damned if anyone was going to take this away from her.

After breakfast, Sarah checked the security feeds to see where Doctor Parker and Doctor Forrest were. Doctor Parker was in her office. Doctor Forrest, as usual, was in the lab. She half wondered if he just slept in there.

She started toward the lab, but then stopped. She really didn't have anything more to find out from Doctor Forrest right now. She was just delaying the inevitable. She turned back to Doctor Parker's office and stopped in front of the door. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

Agent Walker knocked on the door. Andi started to open it and Sarah kicked it in, driving the door into the unsuspecting Andi's forehead. The bitch doctor staggered back and Walker forced her way through the door and delivered a rapid punch to Andi's solar plexus before she could recover. Andi doubled over and Walker delivered a spinning kick to the side of her head. Andi folded and started to fall. Walker grabbed her by the lapel of her expensive suit and held her up just enough to deliver three quick jabs to the face, the third connecting with Andi's nose with a sickening but satisfying crunch. Blood spurted from Andi's nose and stained the front of her suit and Walker let her fall to the floor. A final kick to the stomach caused Andi to black out. Walker viciously raised her leg and drove her heel down hard on first Andi's right hand, then her left, shattering the bones in each and ensuring that Andi would never be able to do the delicate work of a surgeon again.

Sarah opened her eyes. It was an old technique one of her instructors at the academy had taught her. Just before a meeting with a distasteful and dangerous foe, picture yourself beating the crap out of them. That way, the smile on your face when you greeted them was genuine. Sarah smiled a genuine smile. Those who knew her well – which, actually, was pretty much confined to Chuck and her father and maybe Bryce – would have recognized the predatory gleam in her eyes.

She knocked on the door and waited. She was about to knock again when she heard a shuffling inside. Obviously Doctor Parker made those who knocked wait so that she could show that they were supplicants to the great lady. Doctor Parker opened the door.

"Sarah! How nice to see you. Please, come in."

Sarah stepped in and took a seat in the chair across from Doctor Parker's desk. She noted the trash can next to the desk filled with empty Starbucks cups.

"So what can I do for you?" Doctor Parker asked.

"I came to let you know, I've talked Chuck into having the surgery. He was reluctant because he is scared of the possible repercussions, but I convinced him it was the only way to end the violent outbursts. The only way he can get back to being himself."

"That is wonderful," Doctor Parker said. "It really is best for Chuck. I know he's nervous, but I promise you, nothing will go wrong during the surgery. Nothing at all. He's perfectly safe in my hands."

"Yes, that's exactly what I told him," Sarah said. She tried to modulate her tone into just the right combination of confidence and adulation, just what Doctor Parker expected.

"And how are you doing with all this?" Doctor Parker asked. "This has to be hard on you."

"I'm fine," Sarah lied. "I'm looking forward to getting all this behind us so we everything can go back to normal."

Doctor Parker gave Sarah instructions for Chuck to follow to prepare for the surgery, including fasting starting immediately.

Doctor Parker stood, indicating that the meeting was over. Sarah took her hand. "Thank you again, Andi. I can't think of anyone I would rather have taking care of Chuck."

"Don't worry," Andi said. "Everything is going exactly as pla… as it should to ensure Chuck's complete recovery."

Sarah turned and left the office and tried not to throw up.

*****************************

As soon as Sarah left her office, Andi flopped down in her luxurious leather chair and allowed herself to revel in moment. Her plan had worked perfectly. Chuck was hers. And that stupid cow Sarah Walker had delivered him right into her hands. The blonde bimbo didn't suspect a thing. Didn't see how perfectly Andi had manipulated her, Chuck, General Beckman, everyone. Now Chuck's marvelous brain would be hers for the studying. She would learn every aspect of what made him tick, of what made him the Intersect. And then her future would be assured.

She called Nate and instructed him to prep the surgical unit for Chuck's surgery the next morning and to assemble the surgical team. Her team was hand-picked. Each was good at their jobs and, more importantly, each was beholden to her for their current position. It wouldn't do to have any pesky outsiders in the surgery. Only people who would back up her version of whatever transpired.

She hung up the phone and started writing her preliminary report regarding the surgery. After all, she had already planned exactly what was going to happen, so might as well get a head start on the post mortem.

***********************************

Sarah went back to Chuck's room to deliver the bad news that he was, as of now, on a complete fast pending his surgery.

"Let's take a walk," she suggested.

Chuck laced up his signature Converse All-Stars and they walked outside. They walked side-by-side but not touching and not talking until they rounded the hedge outside the facility, which Sarah knew to be a blind spot to the surveillance cameras. She stopped and grabbed Chuck and pulled him into a long, passionate kiss.

Chuck responded greedily, opening his mouth to admit her. He wrapped his surprisingly strong arms around her and pulled her close while she grabbed the back of his shirt and held on as if it was all that prevented her from drowning in his kiss.

Finally, they pulled apart.

"Wow," Chuck gasped.

"That's a down payment," Sarah said.

Chuck reached up and brushed her hair back over her ear. She smiled.

She pulled tight against him. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from shaking with the fear that threatened to overwhelm her. "We can tell them you changed your mind. It's not too late. Casey will back us up."

Chuck kissed the top of her head. "You know I have to," he said softly. "Please don't try and talk me out of it."

"I won't," she said. "I… I just can't lose you. I've… God… Chuck I've never felt this way before. I don't know what to do."

"You're doing everything just right," Chuck said. "I couldn't do this without you."

They held each other for a long while, and then started to stroll hand-in hand through the flower-lined pathway. Surveillance cameras be damned, Sarah wasn't going to give up this moment.

That night, after Chuck was safely tucked in bed and she had finished her briefing with Casey, Sarah slipped on Chuck's Buy More windbreaker and slipped out of the facility. She walked out to 'their' hill, the one where they had the picnic the day before. It was a clear night and even with the lights of the city, a few stars were visible overhead.

Sarah was scared. More scared than she had ever been in her life. She couldn't lose Chuck. Not now. Not now that they had truly found each other. Not now that she had done something she had never done before, given away her heart.

She sank to the ground, tears streaming down her face, making the few stars into shining starbursts.

For the second time since she was a little girl, she struggle to her knees and made the Sign of the Cross. She raised her right hand to forehead. "W Imię Ojca," she whispered. She touched her hand to her breastbone. "i Syna," she whispered. She touched her left shoulder, "i Ducha," and then her right shoulder, "Świętego." She folded her hands in front of her. "Amen."*

Once again, she wasn't sure what to say. So she simply looked up to heaven and asked. "Dear God. Please, please let him be all right."

*************************************

*************************************

* Author's note: For those of you who do not recall from "Chuck versus a Normal Life", this is the traditional Sign of the Cross used by Catholics to begin and end prayers, but said in Polish. Since Yvonne Strahovski is Polish, I have decided that Sarah Walker is Polish at least on her mother's side and that her Polish maternal grandmother taught her some prayers. Since almost all Poles are Catholic, the prayers are naturally the traditional Catholic prayers. Just in Polish.


	13. Said the Spider to the Fly Part I

Very special thanks to **Poa** for reviewing this Chapter before I posted it. She made some terrific suggestion that I think made it a much stronger chapter. **Poa** recently finished her own fic, 'Chuck versus Mr. Smith.' I've been so busy with this story that I haven't had a chance to read the end yet, but if the earlier chapters are any indication, it should be a very good read.

Thanks also to everyone who reviewed the last Chapter.

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 12a

Said the Spider to the Fly

Part I - Will You Walk Into My Parlor?

Sarah sat awake in Chuck's room watching him toss and turn. At one point, he cried out in his sleep and Sarah rushed over to the bed and gently smoothed his hair as she cooed in his ear, "It's okay, Chuck. Everything is going to be okay."

Finally, about two a.m., after watching him continue to thrash about in the bed, she couldn't take it anymore. She climbed into his bed and wrapped her arms around him. That seemed to do the trick. She thought she heard him whisper 'Sarah' in his sleep and then his breathing slowed and he fell into a deep sleep. Sarah laid her head on his chest and spooned against him. If anyone was watching the security monitors they could go to hell.

"Sarah. Sarah." Sarah started awake. She blinked her eyes open to see Ellie leaning over her. She blinked again, a little disoriented and then realized where she was. She was in Chuck's bed and his arms were wrapped around her.

'How very like Chuck Bartowski,' Sarah thought. 'I climb into bed to comfort him and sometime during the night he turns the tables and I'm the one wrapped safely in his arms.'

"Good morning, Sarah," Ellie whispered, touching her arm. The grin on Ellie's face spread practically from ear to ear at finding Sarah in Chuck's bed.

Sarah extricated herself from Chuck's arms and was pleased that he let out a little moan when she was gone. Or maybe he just missed the warmth because then he pulled the covers a little tighter around himself. But she liked to think it was because he was more comfortable when she was there in bed with him.

Ellie led Sarah out into the hallway so they could talk without disturbing Chuck. "Chuck was a little restless last night," Sarah said quickly by way of explanation. "Getting into bed was the only way to calm him down."

Ellie just smiled. "No explanations necessary, Sarah. As far as I'm concerned, you should sleep in Chuck's bed every night."

Sarah couldn't help blushing.

"Where's Devon?" Sarah asked.

"He wanted to go down and check over the surgical suite. I swear, he's more nervous than I am. He didn't sleep a wink last night."

"Ellie," Sarah said. "Do you really think Doctor Parker can do this? Is Chuck going to be okay?"

Ellie sighed. "If anyone can do it, Andi Parker can. I've asked around and she really is the best neurosurgeon in California."

"But I heard she hasn't been doing as many surgeries lately," Sarah said. "That she's been spending more time doing research."

Ellie nodded. "That's true, but I talked to some people who've watched her work and she's an incredibly gifted surgeon. It's still a risky surgery, but if Andi says that Chuck needs it or he might die, we really don't have much choice, do we?"

There were tears in Ellie's eyes now and Sarah tried hard not to start crying, too. She only partly succeeded.

"Well, I've arranged front row seats for you and Devon," Sarah said. "That way you can get a real good look at Doctor Parker in action." 'And keep an eye on her,' Sarah added silently.

Ellie wrapped Sarah in a tight hug. "I don't know what we'd do without you, Sarah," Ellie said, her voice quavering.

Sarah returned the hug. She felt like she was drawing strength from the elder Bartowski.

Finally, she pulled away. "I wanted to be here when Chuck woke up," Sarah said, "but I have to go check on some last minute details. Tell him I'll talk to him before he goes into surgery, okay?"

Ellie looked a little confused. No doubt she didn't know what kind of last minute details a patient's girlfriend could be attending to, but since Sarah was here every day, she simply shrugged it off.

*******************************************

Andi finished up a few last minute details before heading down to the surgical suite. This was her moment of triumph and she was going to savor it. There was a knock at the door. Andi looked up, annoyed. Who could that be? Whoever it was she couldn't be bothered. She ignored it. The annoying person knocked again, more firmly. Andi sighed and got up. Whoever it was was obviously not going to go away. She would just have to send them away.

She opened the door to see Sarah Walker standing there, an angelic smile on her face. "I am due in surgery in a few minutes, Sarah," she said. "Whatever it is will have to wait."

Sarah pushed against the door, forcing a surprised Andi back. "Oh, they'll wait for you," Sarah said. "The curtain doesn't go up without the star of the show."

Andi knit her brows and frowned. This wasn't the Sarah she had come to know. The Sarah who was so torn up over Chuck that she had practically starved herself. The Sarah who had confided her fears for Chuck to Andi. The Sarah who had trusted Andi utterly and completely to take care of the man for whom she obviously cared a great deal. Although there was a smile on her face, this Sarah looked more like a predator than prey.

Andi staggered back into the office. "Sit down, Doctor," Sarah said, motioning to the chair in front of Andi's desk while Sarah took the seat behind the desk. The effrontery of the woman! General Beckman would definitely be hearing about this.

Sarah leaned forward and put her hands on Andi's desk. Her smile, rather than being reassuring, left Andi cold. She couldn't suppress a shiver running down her spine. This wasn't Sarah Walker, girlfriend of one of her patients. This was Agent Sarah Walker, trained killer. She could see it in the woman's eyes.

"You've been a very busy woman. Four surgeries. Four dead bodies. Not a very inspiring track record."

Andi was a little taken aback, but then mentally shrugged. They were bound to find out about the test subjects eventually. Still, once she presented the research results to Beckman she was sure all would be forgiven. "I don't think…" Andi started to say.

"_I wasn't finished_," Sarah said in a voice so cold it dropped the temperature in the room several degrees. Then she continued in a voice that was almost pleasant. "I wanted to thank you for taking such good care of Chuck. The Citropene was a very nice touch. I assume you got it from the CIA 'pharmacy.' A wonderful place, the CIA pharmacy. All sorts of wonderful stuff."

Andi's eyes went wide. Did Sarah know everything? She knew about the test subjects and the Citropene. Did she know about the post-mortem on Chuck's surgery already half-written on her computer? No. Of course not. She couldn't know. Sarah had found out about the Citropene and was fishing. Seeing what else she could find out. She forced herself to calm down. She was smarter than any mere CIA agent. Her plan could still go forward. She would just have to be more careful in the future.

Sarah leaned back in the chair. Her voice was now so pleasantly conversational that it was actually more disturbing than when her voice had been cold. "Did you know, for instance, that they have fifty-three different slow acting poisons? Quite a selection. I understand that with some of them you feel perfectly fine until it finally kicks in. Then the pain is so excruciating that most people either go mad or kill themselves."

Andi's eyes went wide and she could feel her breath start to come in short gasps. "And did you know," Sarah continued, "that to keep someone from just taking antidotes at random, that the antidotes for some of the poisons actually act as accelerants for others? Quite ingenious those CIA chemists."

Andi's hands were shaking now.

Sarah stood and stepped to the side of the desk and then stooped to pull an empty Starbucks cup from the trashcan. The cleaning crew had finally been in the office the night before and it was the only thing in the trashcan. She set it in the middle of the desk and then sat down on the edge of the desk directly in front of Andi so Andi had to scoot back a little in her chair. "Did you enjoy your coffee this morning?" Sarah asked pleasantly. "I've always been more partial to the mocha than the grande skinny vanilla latte with extra foam, but that's just me. Though the Starbucks at Glade and Wedgewood does have a very friendly staff."

Andi was so nervous from having Sarah hovering over her that it took her a moment to realize what Sarah was saying. The implication suddenly hit her like a fist to the gut. "You… you didn't," Andi gasped. She felt her throat constricting and her breath, already coming in quick gasps, grew more labored.

"Now, you're going to have to calm down, Doctor," Sarah said, touching Andi almost gently on the arm. "You have a surgery to perform. And you have a lot riding on this surgery. You see, Chuck Bartowski is a very, very important asset. Major Casey and I have been his bodyguards for two years now and at General Beckman's orders, we have always made sure that he was safe and sound. We slipped a little bit the night he was shot, but we're working very, very hard for General Beckman to make up for that. Kind of on probation, you might say; so we would do _anything_ to see that Chuck Bartowski stays safe."

'Oh my God. _Beckman knows_!' Andi thought. 'They're working _for_ Beckman!'

"I… I never meant…" Andi started to babble.

Sarah slapped the desk hard, making Andi jump. "Did I give you permission to speak?" Sarah demanded.

Andi sat in stunned silence.

"I asked you a question," Sarah hissed.

"No," Andi said in a voice barely a whisper.

"Excuse me?"

"No, Agent Walker," Andi said a little bit louder.

Sarah stood up and walked around behind Andi's chair, out of Andi's sight. This only make Andi more nervous but she did not dare turn around. "Now, as I was saying," Sarah said. "You have a lot riding on this surgery. You see, you guaranteed that Chuck would come out of the surgery just fine. Do you remember that?"

Andi nodded her head.

"Do you remember that?" Sarah asked again, her head suddenly so close to Andi's that Andi could feel Sarah's breath tickling her ear. She hadn't even heard Sarah move.

"Yes, Agent Walker, I remember."

Sarah straightened. "Good," she said. "Because we are going to hold you to that guarantee. And if this surgery is not one hundred percent successful... Well, let's just say that you're going to make good on that guarantee."

"Please," Andi pleaded. "I was only trying to help. I know how important the Intersect is to General Beckman. You have to tell her. I was trying to do the right thing."

Andi suddenly felt Sarah's hand on her shoulder, a gentle pressure that in any other context would have been reassuring, but now it was all Andi could do not to jump out of the chair and scream. "Oh, you are going to do the right thing, Doctor. We're just making sure of that."

Sarah stepped back in front of Andi and picked up the Starbucks cup. "Take a few minutes to get a hold of yourself, Doctor," she said. "Then report to the surgical suite. Your new surgical team is waiting." Then she walked out of the office. Andi forced herself to turn to watch her go and found herself astonished with the feline grace with which Agent Walker moved. How come she had never noticed that before? What made her think she could go toe to toe with a trained CIA agent.

'Oh my God,' Andi suddenly realized. 'They even brought in their own surgical team. They're going to be watching my every move. Scrutinizing my every decision. If anything happens to Chuck _I'm dead_.'

For the first time in a very long time, Doctor Andrea Parker knew that she wasn't in complete control of a situation. And for the first time in a very, very long time, Andi Parker started to cry.

******************************

Sarah walked quickly down the hall and slipped into the office she shared with Casey. Casey was sitting behind the desk. Sarah handed him the Starbucks cup. "So what did you think?" Sarah asked.

"I'm impressed, Walker," Casey said. "I didn't think you CIA types had it in you. I imagine she's changing her panties right about now."

"Good," Sarah said. "Oh, and it was a good suggestion making her think Beckman ordered it. She clearly bought it and won't go to Beckman."

"I just wonder if we went too far," Casey said. "Is she going to be in any shape to do the surgery?"

"It's our team in there," Sarah said. "If they have any doubts at all about her, their instructions are to call an abort and pull her out of there immediately. I've got Ellie and Devon scrubbed up to observe the surgery as well. They think it's just a professional courtesy but I'm sure they'll blow the whistle if they think anything's wrong."

Casey nodded. "You know that if Beckman finds out about this, they won't find enough pieces of us for DNA identification."

"Are you having second thoughts?" Sarah asked.

"Hell no!" Casey roared. "Most fun I've had in months. I'm just pissed you got to be the one to go in and break the news to Parker."

"I couldn't have done it without you," Sarah said. "The intel on the coffee was perfect."

"Well, it's good that someone on this team remembers how to do spy work the old fashioned way instead of waiting for the skin colored robot to flash on something," Casey grumbled.

Sarah smiled at the phrase 'this team.' Yep. Casey was not only fully compromised by Chuck Bartowski, he had fully accepted her as his partner. It felt good. Now if they could just get Chuck back, Team Bartowski would be back and ready for action.

Casey looked at her. "You're still worried about the surgery, aren't you?"

Sarah tried hard not to let her emotions show. Partner or not, Casey still viewed emotions as a weakness. "Yeah. Even if Parker was one hundred percent trustworthy, it's still a very risky surgery."

Casey stood up and for a moment she thought Casey was actually going to give her a hug, but he growled. "Well, we better get your ass down to surgery. You have to introduce Doctor Parker to her new team."

"Okay," Sarah said, actually a little disappointed not to get the hug from Casey. "Wish us luck," she said.

Casey grunted. It was a new grunt. Sarah decided to classify it as Casey grunt one hundred seventy-three: Get the hell out of here before I do something I'll regret later.

********************************

Ellie and Devon were waiting in the surgical suite's anteroom, standing next to Chuck's bed. They were both already dressed in their surgical scrubs. Ellie was holding Chuck's hand. Devon was chatting with the anesthesiologist. A surgical nurse stood in the corner, looking over some paperwork. Morgan was standing next to the head of Chuck's bed. Sarah had never seen him looking so subdued.

Sarah gasped upon seeing Chuck. His curls were gone! They had shaved his head for the surgery and Sarah felt a pang of regret that she wouldn't be running her fingers through his hair for a long time. She refused to add the 'if ever.'

Upon seeing Sarah, Ellie stepped back, relinquishing the spot next to the side of the bed to Sarah. It seemed rather symbolic to Sarah, as if Ellie were passing the torch of caring for her brother. 'But then,' Sarah thought, 'maybe I'm just being overly emotional. This whole emotions thing is new to me.'

"Hi, Morgan," Sarah said.

"Hi Sarah," Morgan said. His voice was flat. He was clearly worried about his best friend.

Sarah leaned down and kissed Chuck tenderly on the lips. "How are you, sweetie?" she asked.

"Hungry," Chuck replied with a nervous smile.

Sarah took his hand. "Sorry I wasn't there when you woke up. Some last minute paperwork to attend to."

"Paperwork: not awesome," Devon said. "I swear I spend half my time doing paperwork instead of practicing medicine."

"Poor baby," Ellie said, taking his arm.

Sarah leaned down and whispered in Chuck's ear. "It's not too late to back out, you know."

Chuck just shook his head. "So did you get all the paperwork straightened out?" he asked with a wink only Sarah could see.

Sarah nodded. "We're as ready as we can be."

The doors to the surgical suite swung open and John Casey stepped in. He was dressed in his Buy More green shirt. He looked nervous at seeing the crowd in the anteroom. He clearly wasn't expecting so many people.

"John!" Ellie said, and stepped over to give him a hug. "It's so good of you to stop by before the surgery. You're such a good friend."

Sarah smiled at Casey's expression, a mixture of embarrassment and pleasure. Casey awkwardly patted Ellie's back. She released him and stepped back. "Chuck, look who's here."

"Hey, Casey," Chuck said. "What do you think of the new hairstyle?"

Casey grunted. "About time you got that mane of yours under control."

"Thanks for coming," Chuck said.

"Well, it was on the way to work," Casey said.

The doors to the surgical suite opened again and Doctor Parker stepped in. She wasn't in her usual self-important rush before surgery. Instead, it appeared her every move was measured and carefully considered. Nate Forrest was trailing along behind her. Both were in scrubs. She stopped suddenly upon seeing both Sarah and Casey there and for a moment Sarah thought she might actually bolt back out the door.

"Doctor Parker, you remember John Casey, Chuck's co-worker, don't you?" Sarah said.

"Oh, um, yes," Andi said. "It is… um… good to see you again Mr. Casey."

Casey gave her a predatory smile. "Nice to see you again, Doctor. You're going to take care of our boy Chuck, aren't you?"

"Oh course, of course," Andi said nervously.

"Are we ready now?" the anesthesiologist asked. Doctor Parker looked at Sarah and paled a little, but at a little nod and smile from Sarah seemed to compose herself.

"Yes, of course," Andi said. "Are you ready, Mr. Bartowski?"

Chuck looked at Sarah. She gave him a smile and squeezed his hand. "Ready," Chuck said.

"Good luck, bro," Devon said, clapping Chuck on the arm.

"Good luck, little brother. See you when you wake up," Ellie said, giving Chuck a kiss on the cheek. The both pulled on their masks and ducked into the operating room itself.

Casey gave Andi a look. She started and then she grabbed Doctor Forrest's arm and hurried into the operating room. "Let's, um, get scrubbed up," she said.

"Come on," Casey said, putting his hand on Morgan's shoulder and started to guide him out of the room.

"Good luck, buddy," Morgan called as he was hustled out. "I'll see you when you wake up." Casey gave him a shove and he was out the doors.

Casey paused just as he was about to step through the doors himself. He turned to the anesthesiologist. "Give 'em a minute," he said, nodding at Sarah. The anesthesiologist nodded to the surgical nurse and both stepped out of the room.

Casey looked at Chuck and frowned. "Don't screw this up for everybody, Bartowski."

Chuck smiled. "I'll see you in a bit, Casey."

Then Casey was out the door.

Sarah leaned over the bed and took Chuck's hand. "I'm scared," she said.

"I didn't think anything scared big, bad agent Walker," Chuck smiled.

"Please don't joke, Chuck," Sarah said, trying to hold back the tears. "I just… I don't…"

"Hey," Chuck said, reaching up to touch her face. "I have everything to live for."

Sarah felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She leaned over and pressed her lips to Chuck's. Chuck reached up and slid his hand into her hair and pulled her into the kiss and Sarah responded by slipping her hand down his shaved pate to pull his likewise to her.

"Ahem," Sarah broke away and straightened to see the anesthesiologist and surgical nurse standing in the doorway with amused smiles on their faces.

The anesthesiologist stepped over to the side of Chuck's bed opposite Sarah. "All right," he said to Chuck. "Just like we talked about earlier. I'm going to put the sedative in your I.V. Your arm may feel a little cold at first. But you'll start to feel a little woozy and then you'll simply fall asleep." Chuck nodded. He stuck a needle into the port on Chuck's I.V. and pressed the plunger.

Sarah squeezed Chuck's hand. "Everything's going to be just fine, Chuck," she said. "I'll see you on the other side."

"Sarah," Chuck said, his words starting to slur. "No matter what, remember than I luf…"

Sarah kissed Chuck's forehead. "I love you, too."

"We'll let you know when the surgery's over," the nurse said. She pulled on her mask and she and the anesthesiologist wheeled Chuck into the operating room.

Sarah watched him go. Tears welled up in her eyes. She stood for a long, long time staring at the closed doors to the surgery. The next few hours, she knew, were going to be the longest of her entire life.


	14. Said the Spider to the Fly Part II

From the stats that fanfiction keeps, it seems a number of you have read Chapter 10a but not Chapter 10b. I think 10b is one of my favorite chapters so if you missed it, you might want to go back and check it out. I just hope now having 12a and 12b doesn't confuse more people. Generally, for both this story and its prequel, each chapter has been 1 day (with a couple exceptions). However, I wanted to keep them from getting too long so for the busy days I have split them into subchapters. Sorry if that confused some folks.

Thanks again to **Poa** for proofreading the last Chapter – twice and for proofreading this Chapter and offering suggestions.

Thanks once again for the incredible reviews for the last few chapters. I am having a blast writing this and I'm just glad that at least some of you are enjoying reading it.

Without further ado, we continue with…

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 12b

Said the Spider to the Fly

Part II – And She Ne'er Came Out Again

Sarah glanced at her watch for the hundredth time. Chuck had been in surgery for over five hours and the wait had been excruciating. She had her copy of 'The Two Towers' with her in Chuck's room and had read the same page twenty or thirty times now and still couldn't have told anyone what it said. Morgan had left an hour ago to go work his shift at the Buy More. Casey had merely called and told Emmett that he was going to be late coming in, if at all, and if Emmett didn't like it Casey had a few suggestions for what he could do with it.

She stood up to pace. Casey looked up from his copy of 'Guns and Ammo' and said, "Will you sit down, Walker? You're going to wear a hole in the floor. Hell, we've been on stakeouts longer than this."

Sarah gave him a dirty look. "Aren't you worried?" she asked.

"Would it do any good?" Casey asked.

Sarah let out an exasperated sigh and flopped back down in her chair and picked up her book. Then she put it back down again and stood up.

"Dammit, Walker, I'm going to tie you to that damn chair if you don't…"

He was interrupted by the door opening. Ellie Bartowski stood in the doorway, still dressed in green surgical scrubs. Her surgical mask still hung loosely around her neck. Sarah covered the distance to the door so quickly it made Ellie blink with surprise. She vaguely noted Devon standing behind Ellie, also dressed in his scrubs.

"There were complications," Ellie said. "The lesion was more invasive than Doctor Parker originally anticipated, so the surgery took longer than we planned. Chuck came through the surgery. They're going to use the surgical suite as an ICU to monitor him." Sarah could see that Ellie was trying hard to be the detached physician, reporting on the status of just another patient. She wasn't doing a very good job. Tears were welling up in her eyes. Finally she broke down, grabbed Sarah and hugged her. "We just have to wait," she said.

"Can I see him?" Sarah asked.

Ellie nodded. "I'll take you down there."

Sarah hurried down the hallway, trying not to run. Ellie had to jog every few steps just to keep up with her. Finally, Ellie touched her arm. "Sarah, slow down. Chuck's not going anywhere."

Sarah willed herself to slow down. That lasted all of ten steps before she was practically running again. Ellie just gave a wan smile and jogged after her.

Sarah burst through the doors to the surgical suite, past a startled nurse and on into the operating room. Ellie trailed behind her. Sarah skidded to a halt. Her hands flew to her mouth in shock.

Chuck lay in bed, his head swathed in gauze, his face covered by a respirator. The stead 'beep, beep, beep' of the heart monitor and the 'gush' of the respirator assailed her ears. Chuck's eyes were closed and he lay unmoving on the bed. Except for the bandages on his head, he looked exactly like he did when he was in his coma.

"Oh my God," Sarah gasped. "Is he…"

Ellie put her arm around Sarah and gently guided her to the side of the bed. "He's in a coma, yes, but this is a medically induced coma. We'll keep him in a coma for a few days to allow him to heal. Then, hopefully, we'll bring him out of it and he'll be good as new."

Sarah clutched at Chuck's hand. It felt cold. She reached out with her other hand and wrapped it around Chuck's hand, trying to warm it up. "He's so cold," she whispered.

"It's okay," Ellie said. "The O.R. is kind of cold. It's nothing to worry about."

Sarah turned to Ellie but still clutched Chuck's hand. "Tell me the truth," Sarah said. "Is he going to be okay?"

Ellie shook her head. "I honestly don't know, Sarah. Something like this? You just have to wait and see. I wish I could lie to you and tell you that everything was fine. That in a few days Chuck will be sitting up in bed, cracking jokes, but you need to know the truth." She shook her head. "We just have to wait."

Unbidden, an image came into Sarah's head. A scene from a movie Chuck had made her watch, 'The Princess Bride.' Inigo Montoya was staring over the cliff and saying, "I hate waiting." She was mad at herself for thinking of something so frivolous at a time like this, but she suddenly felt like Inigo Montoya. She was standing on the edge of the Cliffs of Insanity, looking out over the edge.

****************************

Andi Parker was more tired than she had ever felt in her life. She had never been so meticulous in surgery before. Five hours of surgery alone was enough to tax the hardiest doctor, but Andi had the added pressure of staring into the face of impending death with every touch of the laser scalpel. Would Agents Walker and Casey believe her when she swore that she had done her best? Would General Beckman?

The lesion really had been more invasive than she had anticipated. Would they understand that? She had tried. She had done everything humanly possible. Hell, she had done more than any other surgeon in the U.S., possibly the whole damn world, could have done. Would it be enough? What if Chuck didn't make it? What if she had missed something or cut where she shouldn't have and he was left a vegetable? What if he couldn't flash? Would they still give her the antidote?

She stripped out of her scrubs and stepped into the shower. She let the warm water bathe her and felt it start to ease the tension in her muscles. Just as she started to relax, she saw Sarah Walker's face again: that predatory smile as she talked about the various CIA poisons. The bitch!

Andi slammed her hand against the wall. Her hand stung from the impact but it helped to focus her mind. She needed the antidote. Even if Chuck Bartowski came out of the surgery perfectly, would they give it to her? Or would that bitch Walker let her die just for spite? She had to do something. Figure something out. She had gotten reams of data from the surgery. Not as much as if she had been able to fully dissect Bartowski's brain, but she was sure she now had a pretty good understanding of how the Intersect was integrated into the human brain. Maybe she should call Beckman? Bargain the information for the antidote?

She frowned at that idea. Beckman was a strong woman, a general in the United States Air Force and the Director of National Intelligence. Andi wasn't good at manipulating women. Weak women, women who owed Andi something, who needed her patronage or her approval, that was one thing. She had mistaken Sarah Walker for one of those weak women and she had no intention of making a mistake like that again. She was much better at manipulating men. Men were so weak. Bat an eyelash, show a little cleavage and they were putty in your hands.

John Casey! That was it. She had seen, or thought she had seen, Agent Casey checking her out approvingly. Yes, maybe she could get to John Casey. Wheedle the antidote out of him. Or at least learn from him which poison Walker had used.

She started to feel better. She had a plan. Or at least the beginnings of a plan. Walker may have thought she had won, but the game wasn't over yet. The revelation of the poison had come as a shock, had thrown her off her game, but she wasn't dead yet. She was going to come out of this ahead or, by God, she was going to take Walker, Bartowski, and anyone else she could down with her.

She shut off the shower and toweled herself dry, then dressed in her expensive, curve hugging suit. She marched down to her lab. Nate Forrest was still dressed in his scrubs, sitting at one of the lab tables, his head resting on his arms. He jerked awake when Andi barged in.

"Oh, um, Andi. You… um…" he stammered.

"Wake up," she snapped. "I need you to draw blood."

"What?" Nate said, blinking.

Andi snapped her fingers several times under his nose. "Get with it," she said. "I need you to draw some of my blood."

"Um, okay, why?" Nate asked.

"I may have… accidently ingested something. Something harmful. I need a full tox screen on my blood."

Nate blinked in surprise. "My God, Andi, are you okay? What happened?"

"Of course I'm not all right," Andi snapped. "Would I have you draw blood otherwise?"

"I… I'm sorry," Nate stammered. "Of course. I'm just worried about you, that's all."

Andi took a deep breath to calm down, then gently touched Nate's arm. She needed Nate; both to figure out what they had poisoned her with and also for his input on the Intersect. Don't kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's good of you to worry. But I need you to focus. We have a lot to do and I'm not sure how much time we have."

Nate went over the cabinet and got out a blood collection kit. Andi sat down at the table and Nate sat next to her. He was as gentle as possible, but he was not trained for this. It took three sticks for him to find a vein and get a good supply of blood. Andi bit her lip to keep her from yelling at Nate. The last thing she needed right now was to get the boy more upset.

Finally, he held up a vial filled with a dark red liquid. "Got it," he said.

"Can you run the tox screen here?" Andi asked anxiously.

"No," Nate said apologetically. "I don't have the necessary equipment here. I'll have to run it over to the University hospital."

"Hurry," Andi said.

"If I tell them that that you…"

"No!" Andi barked. Nate jumped, startled. "Sorry. You can't tell anyone it's mine," she said more evenly. "You can tell them that I need this right away, but don't tell anyone what it is or what you find. Call me the minute you have the results."

Nate went over to his locker in the lab and pulled out his keys and wallet. He didn't bother to change out of his scrubs before he was hurrying out the door.

Andi rubbed her arm where the idiot had butchered the attempt to get blood. She stood and went back to her office.

*******************************

Sarah was sitting by Chuck's bed, watching the rhythmic rising and falling of his chest in time with the sound of the respirator. Her constant ministrations had brought some warmth and color back into his hand. She leaned over and whispered to him, "All right, Chuck. I know you can hear me. We went through a hell of a lot to get you this far. You damn well better not quit on me now."

'Gush, gush' went the respirator and 'beep, beep,' went the heart monitor. Chuck remained still.

"Listen. I'll make you a deal," she whispered. "You pull through this and I promise that I will make it worth your while." Sarah thought back to their tender kiss under the open sky at their picnic and the passionate kiss earlier today before the surgery. So much time wasted dancing around the whole asset/handler thing. For two years Chuck had been hers for the asking and she had kept him at arm's length. Denying not only his feelings for her but her own feelings for him. There was no way she would ever find someone who loved her and cared for her, a friend as well as a lover, like Chuck Bartowski. Why did it take him almost dying to make her see that?

And yet. She sighed. And yet. He was still an asset. She was still his handler. He was lying here because he had been willing to sacrifice himself for her. Because he had turned the asset/handler dynamic on its head and appointed himself her protector. Now that Beckman thought that Sarah was in control of 'the asset', it might be enough to keep her from being reassigned. But was that the best thing for Chuck? Would another handler, one he was not so attached to, be better able to protect him? Did she love him enough to let him go, if that was best for him?

"Dammit," she muttered. Chuck might never open his eyes again and here she was still dancing the same damn dance to the same damn tune that had been playing the last two years. Didn't her love for Chuck make her a _better_ protector? Hadn't she proven that she was willing to sacrifice anything and everything to keep him safe?

Her reverie was interrupted by the door opening. Casey stuck his head in. "Psst. Walker. Come here."

"You don't have to whisper, Casey," Sarah said. "He's not asleep."

"I know that," Casey snapped. But he had a chagrined look on his face.

Sarah stood and followed Casey out into the hall. "What is it?" she asked.

Casey glanced around. "Not here."

She followed him down the hall to their office. Casey ushered her in and shut the door. As usual, he took the seat behind the desk. He spun the monitor around and typed a couple of commands into the computer. A document appeared on the screen.

"What's that?" Sarah asked.

"A little NSA magic," Casey said, obviously pleased with himself. "Parker was pissed that since no one but she and Wheeler could access her office, the cleaning crew couldn't dust, empty the trash, vacuum, water the plastic plants…"

"The point, Casey," Sarah said, miffed that Casey had brought her all the way down here for this.

"Wheeler, as usual, passed the buck. Got his assistant Martin to go babysit while they cleaned the office. She was kind enough to slip a dongle in the back of Parker's computer while they were in there."

"A what?" Sarah asked.

Casey grunted. He obviously didn't like to show that understood geek-speak. "A little device that plugs into the USB port on the back of the computer. The NSA has a handy little dongle that, when the computer is turned on, transmits the entire contents of the computer's hard drives to a remote location. In this case, a relay that sent it to another relay that sent it to our computer. I've already trashed the relays."

Sarah looked confused so Casey continued. "Parker turned on her computer about twenty minutes ago. We got a copy of everything on her computer. Including, apparently, a thumbdrive with all of the information she has collected with regard to the Intersect and Chuck… And this," he pointed to the screen.

"What is it?" Sarah asked.

"Parker jumped the gun. To save time, she started writing her report on Chuck's surgery a couple days ago. Here's the interesting part." He pointed to a phrase in the document. 'Complications regarding removal of the lesion resulted in hemorrhaging leading to subject losing brain function at __:___ p.m. Death was immediate.'

Sarah sat back in her chair. "So we were right."

"Well of course we were," Casey said.

"So should we take it to Beckman?" Sarah asked.

Casey shook his head. "No. Not enough here. She's too valuable right now with her knowledge of the Intersect. This isn't over."

Sarah sighed. "Not by a long shot," she said, but she was actually thinking of Chuck, lying in a coma down the hall.

******************************

Andi studied herself in the mirror. Her hair and makeup were perfect. She had picked out a new suit that flattered her figure, with two extra buttons on the blouse unbuttoned. She smoothed her suit over her figure and turned to the left and to the right to examine the line of the suit. Perfect.

She exited her office and walked down the hall, keeping an eye out for Agent Walker. Sarah Walker was the last person she needed to run into right now. Fortunately, Walker wasn't anywhere to be seen.

She stopped in front of the door that Wheeler had pointed out to her earlier and knocked.

The door opened and the large form of Major John Casey filled the doorway. "Good evening, Major Casey. Might I have a word with you?" Casey looked her up and down. Did his eyes linger just a little longer on her breasts? She thought so.

Casey shrugged and stepped back from the doorway to let her in. She noted with some satisfaction that the office assigned to the two agents was considerably smaller and considerably less opulent than her own. Casey took a seat behind the desk without waiting for her to be seated. So not a gentleman. That was fine. Perhaps even better. Gentlemen could be difficult on other grounds.

Andi took a seat and slowly crossed her legs to make sure that Casey got a good look at their shapeliness. Was that the hint of a smile on his face? Good. She leaned forward slightly to give him a view of her assets.

"John. May I call you John?" she asked.

Casey shrugged. "It's my name."

"Very well, John. I have fulfilled my part of the bargain. I have performed the surgery on Mr. Bartowski to the best of my ability. Therefore I must insist that you give me the antidote."

"We didn't have a bargain," Casey replied.

Andi was a little flustered. She was used to men flattering her, or perhaps babbling. She wasn't used to men who spoke so simply and directly. No matter.

"We most certainly did. The poison was to insure that I performed the surgery satisfactorily. I did that. Ask Doctor Bartowski or Doctor Woodcomb. My actions in that operating room were nothing short of extraordinary. If it had been any other surgeon, I doubt Mr. Bartowski would have survived the surgery."

Casey merely shrugged. "We didn't have a bargain," he said again.

"Well, then Agent Walker and I had a bargain. She is your partner, is she not? You are her senior, are you not? Tell her to give me the antidote."

"That's between you and Walker," Casey said.

Damn but this man's expression was inscrutable. She decided to try a different tact. "Major Casey. John. I can be a valuable asset to the CIA. Now that I have examined the Intersect and have even performed surgery on him, I have information that no one else does regarding how the Intersect works. I know how to select agents for the Intersect project who will be able to handle the Intersect download without damage. Not like those Fulcrum agents. I'm the only one who can provide you with that information. But of course, I can't give you that information if I'm dead. All my knowledge, all my research will be lost. You'll never find anyone with the necessary knowledge and experience for this project. You must tell General Beckman that I am simply too valuable to be discarded."

Casey shrugged. "I'll pass it along."

Andi waited for Casey to say more, but he simply stared at her with that same maddening inscrutable expression.

She leaned a little further forward and tossed her hair back. She slowly licked her lips and arched her back slightly. "Please," she said. "I'm asking for your help. I'll do _whatever_ I can to make it up to you."

"I said I'd pass it along," Casey said.

Andi was getting mad. Was Casey gay? Was he stupid? Didn't he understand what she was offering? She had one more weapon in her arsenal. It had never failed her. Since she was a little girl wrapping her daddy around her little finger, she had been able to cry upon command. Now tears started welling up in her eyes and she sniffed theatrically. She leaned forward onto the desk, both acting the supplicant and giving Casey an even better view down her blouse.

"P-p-p-please," she sniffed. "I don't want to die. Please, John. You're my only hope. Agent Walker, she hates me. She wants to kill me. You have to help me. Please. I'll do anything."

She looked up at Casey with tear-stained eyes; careful, of course, to dab the tears away with a tissue before it could run her mascara.

To her surprise, Casey was smiling. She was a little taken aback, but decided it must mean that he had taken the bait and he was contemplating the favors she would bestow upon him in return for his help.

"So you'll help me?" she asked in her little girl voice.

To her surprise, Casey burst out laughing. The tears stopped suddenly and Andi sat back, stunned.

"Sister," Casey roared. "That is the most pitiful act I have ever seen. Compared to some of the agents who've tried to seduce me, you're the ugly step sister. I told you I would take your proposal to Beckman. And I will. In the meantime, I suggest you be really, really nice to Agent Walker. She's been a little cranky lately."

Stunned, Andi stood and fled the office.

*****************************************

*****************************************

Author's Note: Come on, you really didn't think that Chuck would get wheeled out of surgery, pop up and start singing "Short Skirt, Long Jacket," did you?"


	15. The Enemy of My Enemy

Once again, I am indebted to **Poa** for reviewing this Chapter. Thank **Poa**! Think of us on your trip!

Thanks also for all the reviews.

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 13

The Enemy of My Enemy

"Sarah! Sarah!" For the second time in two days, Ellie was shaking Sarah awake. This time she was not curled up in Chuck's bed, but asleep in a chair next to it.

"Ellie?" Sarah asked, blinking the sleep from her eyes. "What?"

"Come on, Sarah. Let's get you to bed."

"I'm fine," Sarah protested sleepily.

"No. Chuck made me promise that this time I would make sure that you took care of yourself. The nurses are watching Chuck. You're going to bed. You're going to get a good night's sleep, then a workout, then breakfast."

A little more awake but stiff from falling asleep in the chair next to Chuck's bed, Sarah stretched. "I'm good here," she said.

Ellie grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the OR/ICU and out into the hall. "Sarah, you don't want me to get in trouble with Chuck, do you?"

"Where are you sleeping?" Sarah asked.

"Chuck's room. John talked to that nice Ms. Martin and cleared me to stay there. I think she's got a crush on him or something. I didn't realize that John had stopped by so often."

"Yeah," Sarah said. "That Casey. A real sweetheart."

"You know, he comes off so gruff but he really is a big teddy bear."

"Sugar bear," Sarah corrected.

"What?"

"Nothing. Nothing." They continued on to Sarah's room and Ellie refused to leave until Sarah was in her pajamas and in bed.

"I'll see you in the morning," Ellie said. "We'll have breakfast."

"Okay," Sarah said, yawning. Once Ellie was out the door she considered sneaking back out the door and down to Chuck's room, but while she contemplated it she fell asleep.

*******************************************

Sarah woke in her bed a little disoriented. She only had a vague recollection of Ellie bringing her to her room. She got dressed and opened her door to head down to see Chuck, only to find Captain Awesome waiting outside her door.

"I wondered when you were going to get up," he said in his usual bombastic style. "Chuck said there's a great workout room here and I was supposed to take you down every morning to make sure you got your workout."

"I was just going to stop down and see him," Sarah said.

"Nope," Devon said. "Sleep, workout, breakfast. Chuck's orders. And we wouldn't want to disappoint the Chuckster."

Sarah smiled and shook her head. "It's a conspiracy," she said. "Let me get changed."

She came out a few moments later in her workout gear and led Devon down to the workout room. "Awesome," Devon said when they walked in the door. "This beats the basement of the hospital any day."

Just like when Chuck was at the hospital, Devon guided Sarah through a complete workout. Devon really was a great trainer. Sarah had missed her sessions with him. If only he wouldn't keep referring to her as 'the other soon to be Bartowski in-law.'

After their workout (which unfortunately lacked a session at the heavy bag – Sarah didn't know how she would explain her kick-boxing skills to Devon) Awesome dropped Sarah off at her room to shower and change. "Ellie's expecting you in Chuck's room for breakfast in fifteen," Devon said.

"Does Chuck have my entire day planned out or just the morning?" Sarah asked.

Devon held up his hands. "Just doing as I was told. I have to run. My shift starts in less than an hour. Have an awesome day!"

"You, too, Devon," Sarah said, laughing.

She took a quick shower and fixed her hair and makeup, then threw on some jeans and a blouse and headed down to Chuck's room. Ellie was up and dressed and sitting at the table. There was a breakfast tray in front of her and one across from her for Sarah. Ellie stood when Sarah came in and gave her a hug. "Good morning, Sarah. How did you sleep?"

"Great," Sarah said. "Thanks for coming to get me."

"Just following orders," Ellie said. "Speaking of…" She pulled the cover off of Sarah's plate. "Chocolate croissants. Chuck said they were your favorite and to make sure you had some for breakfast this morning."

"Excuse me a minute," Sarah said. "I have something in my eye." She hurried into the bathroom and pulled out some tissue to dab her eyes. "Damn you, Chuck Bartowski," she muttered in a half-sob, half-laugh. It was so like Chuck. He must have spent the whole time before his surgery, surgery that could potentially kill him or leave him brain damaged, giving instructions to Ellie and Devon about how to take care of _her_.

Sarah pulled herself together and stepped out of the bathroom.

"Are you all right?" Ellie asked.

"Yeah. Fine," Sarah said. "Just something in my eye." Ellie gave her a look that said 'I'm not buying it' but didn't argue. "So tell me," Sarah asked, "did Chuck spend the whole day yesterday giving you instructions about how to take care of me?"

"Well, you and Morgan," Ellie said. "Chuck thinks that with Anna out of town Morgan needs supervision. Lucky us."

"Oh great," Sarah said, laughing. "Now I'm in the same category as Morgan!"

Ellie joined in the laughter. "Trust me, Sarah, no one is in the same category as Morgan." Ellie's laughter faded and her tone turned serious. "Chuck just wanted to make sure that the two people he cares about most are taken care of."

Sarah narrowly avoided another dash to the bathroom.

"Ellie," Sarah asked. "What do you really think Chuck's chances are?"

Ellie sighed and shook her head. "I honestly don't know," Ellie said. "We doctors like to pretend that we know all there is to know about medicine and caring for people, but the truth is that there's just so much we don't know. And the human brain is mostly still a mystery. I won't lie to you. The surgery that Chuck had is very dangerous. There are a thousand things that could have gone wrong during the surgery. We're just fortunate that Doctor Parker was available to do it."

"But now that the surgery's over and he survived," Sarah said. "That's a good sign, right?"

"Well, yes," Ellie said. "He's over the biggest hurdle. But there's still a long way to go."

"You mean there might be brain damage," Sarah said.

Ellie nodded. "There might be brain damage. Honestly, it's also possible that when we try to bring Chuck out of the medical coma that he just won't wake up. Or, his brain could hemorrhage and…" She left it unsaid, but the implication was clear. "I don't want to scare you, Sarah, but I want you to be prepared in case…" She stopped and took a shaky breath.

Sarah took a hold of Ellie's hand. "Chuck's going to be fine. I know it. Chuck is so much stronger and more resilient than people give him credit for."

Ellie smiled at Sarah. "You really do love my brother, don't you?"

Only Sarah's spy training saved her from the deer in the headlights look. But Ellie must have seen how uncomfortable that the question made her because she immediately said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't pry. I just see how happy you two are together. And how happy you make each other."

It was fortunate that they were in Chuck's room and that Chuck's room was monitored. Otherwise, Sarah may well have blurted out, 'yes.' Instead, she smiled and blushed. Ellie made a little squeak that indicated that Sarah had probably given the game away, but she still had deniability. Whether plausible or not she wasn't sure.

They continued chatting throughout breakfast. Sarah managed to steer the conversation away from herself and toward stories of Chuck and Ellie growing up and their rather eccentric father, Stephen. Still, Sarah had to admit that she had never felt closer to another woman, other than her mother or grandmother, than she felt to Ellie that morning.

After breakfast, the two women went down and sat in Chuck's room for awhile. They were silent or spoke in whispers. There was no reason, really. But something about the room and about Chuck's condition invited hushed tones.

*************************************

Andi Parker didn't sleep much the night after the surgery. She was scared and angry. How could they do this to her? Holding her hostage to Chuck Bartowski's condition. And how could she have misread John Casey so badly? She had never felt so humiliated in all her life. He laughed at her! No one had laughed at her since middle school.

She picked up her cell phone to check once again if Nate had called with the toxicology report. Still nothing. She felt her forehead. She felt a little flushed. Was the poison starting to take effect? She shook it off. It was probably psychosomatic. She was so worried about the poison that she was starting to feel every poisoning symptom she could recall from medical school. Frustrated, she got up and got dressed. She might as well go to the facility. She needed to make sure that she was uppermost in the minds of Agents Walker and Casey. She had a fear that they would simply forget about her and let her die.

As she drove to the facility, she shuddered at each Starbucks she passed. She hadn't really paid attention before how many she passed every day. She normally had a four or five cup a day habit, but she hadn't touched a drop since Agent Walker dropped her bombshell. She knew she was going to have to do something about that, too. She was already noting the early symptoms of caffeine withdrawal.

Andi pulled up to the facility and screeched to a halt. She got out of her car and walked up to the facility. She held up her key-card. There was no familiar 'click' indicating the lock had disengaged. She held up the card again. Nothing. She tried the door. It was still locked. Equal parts angry and frightened, she stormed around to the front of the facility, blew past the receptionist and stormed into the administrator's, office.

"What is the meaning of this?" she asked, shaking the key-card at Wheeler. Why have I been locked out?"

"Why, Andi," Wheeler said soothingly. "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about."

"My key card doesn't open the lock. Have I been barred? Why didn't anyone…"

"Please, Doctor Parker. I'm sure there's been some mistake. Can I see your card?"

Wheeler took the card and said, "Please wait here, Doctor. I'll be right back."

Andi paced Wheeler's office as she waited for him to return. Had they revoked her access now that the surgery was done? Was she being shunted aside? And what would that mean for getting the antidote? How could she get the antidote is she couldn't even get in the facility?

The administrator returned a few moments later. "Just a computer glitch, apparently," Wheeler said. "Somehow your key card was locked out of the system. It's all fixed now."

He held up the key-card. Andi pushed past him, snatching the card from his hand as she went by. "Of all the incompetent…" she muttered.

She stormed down the hall to her office and slammed the door. She was just sitting down at her desk when her phone rang.

She hit the speaker button. "What?" she snapped.

"Oh, ah, Andi," came Nate Forrest's voice from the phone, obviously confused as to his boss' icy demeanor. "I have the toxicology report."

Andi felt a stab of panic. What vile concoction had Walker fed her?

"Well, what is it? What was I… exposed to?"

"Nothing," came Nate's reply.

"What?" Andi shrieked. "What do you mean, nothing?"

"I mean the tox screen came back negative. Nothing unusual in your blood. No toxins or other chemicals, other than the normal trace amounts of mercury, formaldehyde, that sort of thing."

"That can't be right," Andi moaned. "Run it again."

"I ran it three times, just to make sure," Nate said. "There's nothing there."

"Get back over here and bring me a copy," Andi snapped. Then she hung up the phone.

Nothing in the tox screen. What did that mean? Had Walker been bluffing? Had it all been an elaborate ruse to protect the Intersect? She shook her head. No. No, the CIA didn't bluff. Obviously, whatever Walker had used was so insidious that it didn't show on a normal tox screen. Of course! Otherwise finding the antidote would be child's play. Oh, they were so clever. But she wasn't done. Not by a long shot.

She booted up her computer. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend," she muttered as a smile started to form on her face. She remembered that someone or something called Fulcrum had been experimenting on creating their own Intersect. That is how she had been able to obtain her 'test subjects.' The four had been victims of Fulcrum's attempts to download their own Intersect into their brains. The information she had now would be highly useful to Fulcrum. It was her bargaining chip.

She sat back and allowed herself a brief daydream of a large, wicked looking man torturing Sarah Walker until she divulged the exact poison she had used and where they could procure the antidote. It brought a smile to Andi's face. She still had Special Access Program clearance to the Intersect information on the Joint Intelligence Database. She began searching for information on Fulcrum. Then she had a few calls to make and a few favors to call in.

********************************

Sarah and Ellie were sitting next to Chuck's bed, where they had been all day except for a break for lunch. "You know, Sarah, this is silly," Ellie said. "We don't both have to sit here. What if we break it up into shifts? I'll watch Chuck for awhile and you go take a walk or watch T.V. or something."

Sarah started to protest, but Ellie had her 'big sister face' on and Sarah had learned that you didn't mess with Ellie Bartowski, especially when she had her big sister face on. "I guess I could use some air," Sarah said.

She stood up and kissed Chuck's forehead just below the bandages. Ellie reached out and they squeezed each other's hand. "I'll come back in thirty minutes or so," Sarah said.

"Two hours," Ellie said.

"I really…"

"Two hours. If you come back before then I'll have the nurse lock the door."

Sarah smiled at Ellie and shook her head.

Sarah stepped out into the hall and stretched. She tended to get a little stiff sitting in a chair that long. She was about to turn and head down the corridor leading outside when Casey came around the corner.

"About time you came out," he said. "I can't exactly come in and get you while Bartowski's sister's in there. I think she's getting a little suspicious of me as it is."

"Actually, she thinks you're a teddy bear," Sarah teased.

Casey looked a little stunned. "She what?" He shook his head. "Anyway, we've got a problem. My office."

Sarah followed Casey down the hall. She entered ahead of Casey and was half-tempted to go ahead and take the seat behind the desk just to see what Casey would do, but thought better of it and took the seat in front of the desk. "So what's the problem?" she asked.

"Beckman. She's looking for a report on what Parker has figured out with regard to the Intersect and what it is that makes Bartowski flash."

"Damn," Sarah said. "If she calls Parker directly…"

"You'll be serving canapés at the US embassy in Botswana and I'll be sweeping the runway at Thule in Greenland."

"So what do we do?" Sarah asked.

"This was your idea, Walker."

"Would you rather she killed Chuck?"

Casey growled by way of response.

Sarah thought for a moment. "It's simple. We give her the information."

"How are we going to do that?" Casey asked. "It's not like Parker will write up a report for us. Right now, that information is her only bargaining chip."

"What if we wrote the report?" Sarah asked. "You have the information you pulled off of Parker's computer."

"What, you have a degree in neuroscience that you neglected to put in your file? I can't make heads or tails of half this stuff."

"You've read my file?" Sarah asked.

Casey grunted. Sarah recognized this particular grunt. 'Get on with it before I do bodily injury.'

"Do I get to read yours?"

Casey didn't look amused. "So who were you planning on getting to write this report."

"Doctor Nathan Bedford Forrest, M.D., PhD."

"You're kidding me. Parker's assistant? Why the hell would he do it?"

"Leave that to me. I'll need a few minutes on the computer and an NSA thumbdrive."

Casey stood up. "Be my guest."

***********************************

Sarah checked the security feeds once again. Doctor Parker, fortunately, was holed up in her office. Doctor Forrest had come in about an hour ago and was back in the lab. Sarah stopped by her room to change into a blouse that was a little more low-cut, touched up her hair and makeup, and then headed down to the lab. She stuck her gun in the back of her pants and slipped a pair of cuffs in her back pocket.

She checked with Casey to make sure that Parker was still in her office and Forrest was in the lab, then went to the lab and knocked on the door. Nate Forrest answered.

"Hi, Sarah," he said, smiling and stealing a glance at her cleavage. "What brings you down here?"

"I need to speak with you a moment," Sarah said. "Can I come in?"

"Um, sure," Nate said, stepping back from the door.

Sarah stepped in and turned to Nate. "I'm really sorry about this," she said. "I mean, you seemed like such a nice guy."

"What?" Nate asked. "Sorry about what?"

Sarah reached behind her and pulled out her badge and handcuffs. I'm afraid you're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say…" she began as she spun Nate around and slapped a cuff on his right wrist. Nate was too stunned to resist.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "What are you talking about? I haven't done anything."

"Doctor Parker gave you up," Sarah said. "Unlawful and unsanctioned experimentation on humans. Surgery without proper consent. Which, of course, is assault. And murder. She told us how you murdered those four people in order to dissect their brains. How she tried to stop you, but you were so eager to help her research that you went too far."

"But… But…" Nate stammered.

"We also have you on charges of unlawful human trials for giving Charles Bartowski a drug specifically prohibited for further human trials."

"I.. It wasn't me," Nate pleaded. "I… I.."

"I'd like to believe you," Sarah said. "I couldn't believe you'd do something like that either. But Doctor Parker said that the information was all here on her thumbdrive." Sarah held up a thumbdrive identical to the one Andi used.

"It's a lie," Nate said. "I… I didn't do the surgeries."

"Nate," Sarah said, almost gently. "We have four dead bodies. Four dead bodies with their brains removed. I'm afraid…"

"It was Andi," Nate blurted out. "She's trying to set me up to take the fall for her. She killed those people. She did the surgeries. I didn't want to have anything to do with it. I tried to stop her." Nate got a wild look in his eyes as he grasped for something to exonerate him. "It's on that drive," he said suddenly. "Videos of the surgeries. You can see that it's Andi performing them."

"Why would she give us evidence that implicated herself?" Sarah asked.

"I don't know. Look at the drive. Look at the files. You'll see."

"I can't," Sarah said apologetically. "The drive is encrypted. Doctor Parker said that she would give us the key."

"I know it," Nate said. "I can show it to you. I swear. Let me show you."

Sarah seemed to consider it for a moment. "Well, I suppose if you really can access the data."

"I can! I can!"

Sarah took off the handcuffs and handed him the thumbdrive. "I warn you," she said. "We have backups."

"Just wait," Nate said. He inserted the drive into the computer. It asked for a password. Nate supplied it. Reams of data appeared on the screen. All of the Intersect data Andi and Nate had accumulated. Nate scrolled through the information, looking for the videos.

"They're not here," he said in a panic. "She must have erased them."

"What's that?" Sarah asked, pointing to a file.

Nate clicked on it. It was a report by Doctor Andrea Parker stating that Doctor Forrest had performed surgeries on the test subjects despite her express instructions to the contrary. "Oh, God," Nate said. "She's setting me up. She wants me to take the fall for the murders. I take the fall and she claims all my work as her own."

"Oh my God, look at that," Sarah said, pointing. "She messed up. Look at the date stamp on those files. They were created just today. I… I think you're right. I believe you Nate. I've always had my suspicions of Doctor Parker."

"Oh, and you were right to suspect her," Nate said. "She wanted to kill Mr. Bartowski, too, so she could examine his brain. I figured out how he processed the Intersect and she wanted to confirm it by dissecting his brain."

"So you're the one who really figured out how the Intersect works."

"Yes, yes," Nate said. "I figured it out. Andi is always taking credit for my work. We talked about that the other day. Remember? Do you remember?"

Sarah nodded. "I do remember something about that," Sarah said. She paused, as if considering. "You know," she said. "If you were to write up your findings on Bartowski, the other subjects and the Intersect, and I were to present that to General Beckman, I bet it would convince her that it was Doctor Parker who killed those people."

"It was!" Nate said. "It was! I swear it."

"I tell you what. Take this. This is all of the research. We'll delete the report Doctor Parker wrote about you doing the surgeries. It's obviously bogus. My partner, John Casey, will take you to a secure location where you can write all this up to present to General Beckman. Then we'll go to bat for you and tell her that Doctor Parker was the murderer and she tried to set you up so she could steal your work. Will you go with Casey?"

Nate nodded his head violently up and down. He grabbed Sarah and gave her a hug. "Thank you. Thank you," he said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to grab you like that."

"It's all right," Sarah said, with a shy smile. "It was kind of nice. Maybe after all this is over…"

"Yeah. I mean, I'll be famous. I… Can we go now? Before Andi finds out?"

"Sure," Sarah said. "Let's go."

*************************

"Fascinating," Andi whispered. Apparently Fulcrum was a secret cabal within the CIA, with tendrils spreading out into various other government agencies. And they were apparently trying to develop their own Intersect computer, although they also were trying to upload data directly into agents brains, as she already knew. Fulcrum seemed to be very large and very powerful. That could be extremely useful.

Now all she had to do was figure out how to contact them and dangle the bait of the information on the Intersect. She had to hurry. No telling how much time she had left.


	16. Endgame

As ever, special thanks to **Poa**, the Sarah to my Casey. The Chuck to my Morgan. The Ellie to my… okay, no way am I Captain Awesome. But a guy can dream, can't he? **Poa**, I can't say how much I value your collaboration. Have a good trip! (She's gone for two weeks so I either have to delay my updates or – gasp – go it alone).

Thanks, also, to all the reviewers. You make the time writing all worth while.

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 14

Endgame

Sarah's morning was a repeat of the previous morning. Devon was waiting at her door to guide her through a workout, and then it was breakfast with Ellie. Ellie had always made Sarah a little nervous. After all, Ellie was extremely perceptive and fiercely protective of her brother. Sarah often wondered what Ellie would do if she found out that Sarah was an agent and that her relationship with Chuck had been a cover. Up to now, at least. Now Sarah wasn't sure what their relationship was. Or at least, what it would be when Chuck recovered from the latest surgery. Sarah refused to consider the possibility that he might not recover.

Ellie, however, was clearly delighted at having Sarah here with her and at the way Sarah had been there for her brother throughout his entire ordeal. 'And she only knows the half of it,' Sarah mused. The problem, however, was that the more time she spent with Ellie, the harder it was getting to deflect Ellie's inquiries into her past.

"You know, Sarah, I don't think Chuck's ever told me where you grew up. Did you grow up in D.C.?"

"Oh, um, no. I grew up in San Diego. I moved to D.C. to be with… Bruce. Stupid move on my part, I know."

Ellie smiled. "I thought you sounded like a California girl. Is your family still there?"

"No. My mom died when I was little and my Dad moved around a lot." Like she told Chuck. Keep the cover story simple and not far from the truth.

"What about your sister?"

"My sister?" Sarah asked.

"Mmm Hmm. Didn't you say you had a sister? I remember you telling me about when you were little and you two put on baby oil instead of sun tan lotion."

"Oh. Of course. I'd forgotten. I mean, I couldn't figure out how you knew I had a sister. I forgot about that game. Um, Melissa and I really don't talk anymore. In fact, I haven't seen her in ages."

"That's so sad," Ellie said. "Family is so important."

"Yeah. I love how you and Chuck are so close. Any luck finding your father?" Sarah wanted desperately to deflect the topic away from questions about her past and her family.

"No. Chuck was really the one looking. I just wanted Dad to walk me down the aisle. I really didn't think it would happen. We haven't seen Dad in such a long time. But we've talked about him enough. I want to know more about you. So do you think you'd like to have kids someday? I think you and Chuck would make such great parents."

Sarah barely managed to suppress a groan.

*******************************

Andi Parker was starting to get desperate. Her assistant, Nate Forrest, was missing. He wasn't in the lab and he wasn't answering his cell phone or his home phone. It wasn't until she sat down to try and write the report on the Intersect in preparation for a hoped-for meeting with Fulcrum that she realized how much she had come to depend on Nate to do most of the actual work for her while she went around finagling grants to continue her research.

It wasn't like Nate to just disappear. For that matter, he practically lived in the lab. It wasn't like him to leave. Especially not without telling her where he was going or even that he was going. She felt a little stab of panic thinking about it. Had Walker poisoned Nate, too, just to be sure? Had his poison simply worked a little faster than hers?

She shook it off. Panic equaled death. She picked up her cell phone. It was time to try another tack. She dialed Nate's cell phone. His voice mail answered yet again. "Nate, sweetie, this is Andi. I'm sorry I was a little short in my previous messages. I'm just worried about you is all. And you know how I get when I worry. So give me a call. I really need to talk to you." She hung up the phone and grimaced. Damn but she hated to beg. It went against her nature.

Her hopes were now pinned on the mysterious Fulcrum. Chuck Bartowski might or might not recover from the surgery. She put his chances at sixty-forty, but there were so many unknowns. And she didn't trust that the CIA would give her the antidote even if he did recover. Her missing assistant simply made her even more wary.

But how did you contact a shadow organization whose very existence was a secret to most people? It's not like you could Google 'Fulcrum' and get a phone number. But they were researching the Intersect and its effect on the human brain. That meant they needed a certain type and caliber of researcher. And so she put feelers out to the most likely candidates with cryptic messages that Fulcrum would understand but no one else. A message that mentioned the way two streets leading to the Meadow Branch subdivision would Intersect. She was rather proud of that. Take that, Agent Sarah Walker. Now all she could do was wait to be contacted.

It was the waiting that was the hard part. Had she been too clever? Not clever enough? Only time would tell. Fulcrum: the pivot point on which her future might depend.

In the meantime, she started to research slow acting poisons. It was always good to have a back-up plan.

************************************

Ellie and Sarah had just finished breakfast when there was a knock at the door. Ellie got up to answer it. Sarah smiled at the short, bearded figure that tried to give Ellie a hug when she answered the door.

"Morgan!" Ellie shrieked, jumping back out of reach.

"But Ellie, I was just trying to comfort you in this, the darkness before the dawn," Morgan explained.

"Morgan, what would Anna say?" Sarah asked, rising to Ellie's defense.

Morgan's eyes got wide. "Um, there's no need to tell her. I was just trying to…"

"Be a comfort in the darkness before the dawn, we got that," Ellie said, not bothering to keep the disgust out of her voice. "I thought we were past this whole crush thing. You've been doing so well since you and Anna started… whatever it is that you do."

"You never forget your first love," Morgan said wistfully.

Sarah decided that perhaps it was time to step in before Ellie snapped Morgan like a twig. "Are you here to see Chuck? I can take you down there."

"Ah, good morning, Sarah, Chuck's angel of mercy."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "We were just about to go down to see him."

The three walked down the hall to the OR/ICU. Sarah and Morgan went in to see Chuck while Ellie stayed to speak to the nurse who monitored Chuck from the anteroom.

Sarah stepped over to the bed and kissed Chuck on his forehead while she squeezed his hand. "Good morning, sweetie. Look who's here to see you. Morgan stopped by again."

"Hey, buddy," Morgan said. Sarah noticed that Morgan's normally boisterous manner became quiet and reserved when he spoke to Chuck.

"See, Chuck," Sarah said. "Ellie and Awesome are taking care of us, just like you made them promise. A promise we will discuss later, by the way."

"Do you think he can really hear us?" Morgan asked.

Sarah smiled and caressed Chuck's hand. "He told me that he remembered me talking to him and holding his hand when he was in the coma before."

"I, ah, think I'll pass on the hand-holding," Morgan said, which drew a light laugh from Sarah.

"I'll take care of that part," she said.

Morgan sat down next to the bed and began his Buy More monologue, acting as Chuck's designated news source for all things Buymorian.

Sarah heard the door and turned to see Ellie enter. She wore a scowl which immediately caused Sarah to fret. Sarah stepped over to her and asked softly, "What is it, Ellie?"

Ellie shook her head. "Nothing, I'm sure. Chuck had a couple of rough episodes last night. Some minor convulsions. They tried to contact Doctor Parker to ask her what they should do, but she's not answering her phone. And her assistant, Doctor Forrest is missing, too."

Sarah frowned. Where was Andi Parker? She wouldn't just disappear as long as she believed that she needed an antidote.

"What did they do for him, then?"

"They've just been trying to get a hold of Doctor Parker," Ellie said with disgust. "I swear. Sometimes… Anyway, I told them to call Doctor Llewellyn. He's the neurosurgeon at my hospital. He knows about Chuck's case. I'm going to give him a call and see if he'll stop by to have a look at Chuck."

Ellie gave Sarah a hug. "I'm sure it's nothing to be worried about," Ellie told her. Then she turned and left the room.

Sarah glanced over at Chuck and Morgan. Morgan was in the middle of a rather animated story regarding Jeff and a rather well-endowed lady who was trying to get her laptop fixed and somehow managed to speak in a series of unwitting double entendres which, of course, Jeff took the wrong way. Sarah took the opportunity to slip out.

She hurried down to the office and immediately called Casey at the Castle. Casey's face appeared on her monitor. "What is it, Walker?"

"Parker's missing," Sarah said. "Chuck went into convulsions last night and they tried to contact her, but she's not answering her phone."

"I'll have someone swing by her house," Casey said. "Forrest's been working all night. He almost has the report for Beckman done."

"Ask him about Chuck's convulsions," Sarah said, unable to keep the worry out of her voice.

"Hang on," Casey said. He disappeared from the screen for what seemed like an eternity to Sarah. When he appeared again, she let out the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding.

Casey shrugged. "He says it could be any of a dozen things. He can't say for sure from here. Besides, he says he's a researcher, not a surgeon. He's not sure what he could do even if he was there. We need to either find Parker or get someone else to take a look."

Sarah bit her lip. "Ellie's calling in a Doctor Llewellyn, from her hospital. Call me if you hear anything."

"You do the same," Casey said. "I'll check the logs with regard to Parker's computer and see what I can come up with."

Sarah nodded and cut the connection.

*******************************

Andi's phone rang. It was Twin Oaks – again. They'd been calling her since last night. But until she knew what happened to Nate Forrest, she had no intention of setting foot in that place. Agents Walker and Casey, she had decided, were capable of anything. Besides, she had just discovered something that changed the equation.

She had conducted exhaustive research on slow acting poisons, including interrogating some of the researchers at the Toxicology Department at her university. It seemed that no one was aware of a slow acting poison that did not begin to show some symptoms within forty-eight hours. It had been more than fifty hours since Andi had drank the allegedly poisoned coffee. She had replayed the conversation in her mind a dozen times and Agent Walker had neither specifically said that she had been poisoned nor promised her an antidote if Bartowski survived. Even when she had tried to wheedle an antidote out of John Casey, he had never actually said that she had been poisoned.

It had all been a bluff! There was no poison. That was why the tox screen that Nate had run had come back negative. After all, if there was no poison, then it couldn't be detected. And if there was no poison, then they didn't have to worry about her finding the antidote on her own. They had played her for a fool and she didn't like to be played. She played people, they didn't play her. She felt her anger rising.

Now she had a different reason for making a deal with Fulcrum. Now she was in an even stronger bargaining position. Now she could use her information about the Intersect to obtain money, power, and above all, revenge. Sarah Walker and John Casey would pay. They would pay dearly for this humiliation.

The information she had on why their experiments had gone wrong would be invaluable to Fulcrum. She wondered how much more the human Intersect was worth, assuming he survived of course.

She checked her email again. Her breath caught. There was a message from the Meadow Branch Homeowner's Association. Holding her breath, she clicked on it.

*****************************

Sarah sat by the side of Chuck's bed holding his hand. Morgan had left a little bit earlier and Ellie was off trying to contact another neurosurgeon.

Sarah fretted. The fact that Doctor Parker was missing was a bad sign. Had she figured out that there really was no poison? It had been the perfect bluff and Parker had swallowed it hook, line and sinker. Sarah kicked herself for not ending it sooner. She could have given Parker a bit of lemonade in a test tube and told her it was the antidote and Parker would have never been the wiser.

The problem was, Sarah had violated the cardinal rule of spy work. She had let it get personal. She had enjoyed watching the heartless bitch suffer. She had enjoyed the measure of power that she had over Parker while she had believed that Sarah held the power of life and death over her.

But now, apparently, Parker had called the bluff. There was no other explanation for her disappearance. And, of course, once a bluff had been shown to be just that, a bluff, then you lost control of the subject. Then they no longer feared you and you couldn't bluff again. That meant that the next confrontation with Andi Parker would be deadly serious.

Damn. She was slipping. The old Agent Walker would never have made a mistake like this. Of course, the old Agent Walker really would have given Parker a slow-acting poison to insure her cooperation. And done it without a second thought.

Sarah looked at Chuck and laid a hand on his bandaged head. Oh how she missed running her fingers through those soft brown curls. How could he be such a source of strength and weakness at the same time? This was the very reason that handlers didn't get involved with assets. He had compromised her in so many ways. The old Sarah Walker was gone. Burned away by the fire that was Chuck Bartowski. But what did that leave? Who was she now? She could and would still kill to protect him. The incident with Lieutenant Mauser was proof of that. The problem was, while the old Sarah Walker would have killed Mauser without a second's hesitation or a moment's regret, now his face haunted her dreams.

Yes, Chuck had weakened her. The Agency had trained her to be a killer. To kill without compunction or pity. And now… and now… Now she was different. Looking back, she could now see the exact moment she changed. It was at the Buy More, while Jeff and Lester were performing that ridiculously bad song as their band, Jeffster. When Chuck told her that he cared about her the same way, ironically, that he cared about Morgan. And then he had taken her hand. And in that moment, she suddenly saw herself as Chuck saw her. As a person. As valuable. As loveable. And in that moment, the old Sarah Walker, the Sarah Walker who was simply a tool to be used by her father, or Graham, or even Bryce, died. And a new Sarah Walker was born.

She leaned down and kissed Chuck. And now she loved him and knew that he loved her back. And that gave her strength such as she had never known before. But it was a different type of strength than she had had as an agent. It was the strength of the soul, not the body. Maybe it made her weaker as an agent, but it made her stronger as a person. She had a confidence she had never had before. She had begun to see herself not as nerdy little Jenny Burton, the unpopular girl from James Buchanan High School, but as Sarah Walker. And not Sarah Walker, CIA agent, but Sarah Walker as Chuck saw her – someone valuable and lovable. And that was the greatest gift anyone had ever given her.

The door to the room opened, snapping her out of her reverie. She looked up, chagrined. It merely pointed out another difference between the old Sarah Walker and the new. The old Sarah Walker would never have sat around contemplating such things.

Ellie walked in leading a distinguished looking gentleman. "Sarah, I want you to meet Doctor Carl Llewellyn, head of the Neurology Department and a dear friend. Carl, this is Chuck's girlfriend, Sarah."

Doctor Llewellyn took Sarah's hand. "Ah, so this is the famous Sarah Walker," he said.

Sarah looked at him, confused. Famous? Llewellyn saw the confusion on her face. "Come, my dear, you were the talk of the hospital. The lovely young lady waiting patiently by the side of her lover's bed while she waited for him, her protector, to awaken from his slumber."

Sarah felt herself blush. "My assistant couldn't stop talking about you," he said. "I was happy to hear that he had come around. And now let's take a look at him."

***********************************

Andi Parker was beyond nervous. She held the thumbdrive with all of the information about Chuck Bartowski and the Intersect in her sweaty palm. The email from the 'Meadow Branch Homeowner's Association' had indeed been from Fulcrum. She had sent them a small taste of the information she had to offer to establish her bona fides. They had taken the bait and she had received a phone call from a man who identified himself as 'Kodiak.' He wanted to meet. The sooner the better. Andi had laid out her demands: one million dollars, a place on the Fulcrum team researching the Intersect, and the elimination of Major John Casey and Agent Sarah Walker as slowly and painfully as possible. In return, she would give them the totality of the CIA and NSA's research regarding the Intersect and all her research into the adaptation of the human brain to the Intersect information. And she had one more piece of information. A piece of information, she told them, even more valuable than all of the others. But they would have to satisfactorily meet her other demands before she would give up this last, juicy tidbit.

Kodiak had agreed and arranged a meet. She was to meet him in the ninth floor of a ten story parking garage; she was to come alone; and she was to bring the Intersect information with her. If the information checked out, she would be given the access codes to an offshore bank account with one million dollars and assurances of the deaths of Agents Casey and Walker. Then they could discuss her future with Fulcrum and the cost of this 'additional information.'

Andi drove to the parking garage. It was in a rather bad part of town and there were no cars parked in the garage after the second level. She drove slowly up to the designated floor, parked and turned off her car. She looked at her watch. She was ten minutes early.

She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. The minutes seemed to drag on. Finally, at exactly the designated time, she heard the squeal of tires as an older, blue, non-descript sedan rounded the corner of the parking garage. It stopped about twenty feet away from her car, facing her. Its headlights were on, and she squinted in the light.

Andi felt her heart racing and her breath coming in ragged gasps. She bit her bottom lip and looked at the thumbdrive, now moist with sweat. Taking a deep breath, she opened her door and climbed out of the car. She stepped to the front of her car and stopped.

The driver's door to the other car opened and the figure of a large man emerged. Blinded by the car's headlights, she held up a hand to shield her eyes from the light and looked at 'Kodiak.'

******************************

Doctor Llewellyn finished examining Chuck and looking over all of his charts. Then he turned to Ellie and Sarah. "Unfortunately, there's no way to know his real condition without bringing him out of the coma. He's been in the medical coma long enough. I think its time to try and bring him out of it."

"So he'll be awake?" Sarah asked.

"Not necessarily," Doctor Llewellyn said. "All we'll be doing is ending the enforced coma. He may or may not revive on his own. It may take some time before he awakens. So I don't want you to be alarmed if he doesn't immediately pop up and start talking."

Sarah nodded, unable to form any words. Ellie took her hand and squeezed.

Doctor Llewellyn stepped out for a few moments and returned with three of the facility's nurses. Doctor Llewellyn briefly explained what he planned. One of the nurses went to a cabinet and removed some restraints and handed them to one of the other nurses. They fastened them to Chuck's wrists and ankles and then to the bed.

Sarah flashed back to the Fulcrum agents restraining Chuck before they attempted to download the Fulcrum Intersect images into his brain. She wasn't able to suppress the shiver that ran down her spine.

"What are they doing?" Sarah whispered to Ellie.

"Some patients 'buck the vent' when they come out of a coma. They can have rather violent spasms or convulsions. They don't want Chuck to injure himself or one of them."

Sarah nodded and squeezed Ellie's hand tighter.

When they were finished, Doctor Llewellyn turned to one of the nurses and asked for some drug, the name of which Sarah didn't catch. The nurse handed him a syringe and he stuck it in the port of Chuck's I.V. and slowly depressed the plunger.

Sarah held her breath and Ellie squeezed her hand so hard that it hurt, but Sarah barely registered the pain.

Suddenly, the steady beep of Chuck's heart monitor went wild. Chuck jerked once against the restraints, fell back against the bed, was still for a moment, and then began to convulse wildly. Doctor Llewellyn grabbed Chuck and fought to hold him down. Two of the nurses moved to do likewise. "Get them out of here," he ordered the other nurse. He turned to the one of the nurses trying to hold down Chuck. "Two milligrams Ativan, stat!" The nurse hurried to comply. Sarah missed the rest as the nurse pushed her and Ellie out of the room.

"Stay here," the nurse commanded, then rushed back into the room.

Sarah looked at Ellie and saw her panic reflected in Ellie's eyes. They heard the sound of Chuck's violent thrashing through the closed doors. "Oh my God," Sarah finally managed to whisper. "Chuck."


	17. Devastation and Redemption

I managed to get this to my editor **Poa** before she left and she was kind enough to take the time to look it over for me. Thanks **Poa**!

Please don't kill me for this.

CHUCK VERSUS THE DECISION

Chapter 15

Devastation and Redemption

It was unusual weather for Southern California. A sudden cold front had dropped the temperature and the rain came down in something more than a mist and less than a drizzle. A cold, wet, gray day. John Casey, dressed in a black suit and black tie, stood apart from the other mourners. Casey had been to more funerals than he could count. Most had ended with three volleys of rifle fire and a folded American flag. There would be none of that this day.

Casey scanned the crowd and caught sight of Doctor Eleanor Bartowski, dressed in black, the fingers of her right hand intertwined with those of her fiancé, Doctor Devon Woodcomb, who was looking decidedly uncomfortable in a black suit and tie. On Ellie's left stood Agent Sarah Walker, also in black, her blonde hair pulled back into a bun as befitted the setting. Casey had to admit that Walker looked stunning, even in black. As befitted a Federal agent, Walker's face was stoic, not betraying a hint of the emotions she must be feeling. John Casey understood hiding one's emotions. He had done it for so long people had begun to doubt whether he had any emotions to begin with.

There was movement off to Walker's right and Casey's eyes quickly tracked that way. The minister, dressed in black cassock and white alb, stepped up to the head of the polished metal casket. Even with the white tent over the graveside, the casket glistened with the reflection of myriad droplets of water.

Casey had to move a little to his left to see the minister past the plethora of flowers and wreaths standing graveside. A boy in a white alb that was a mirror of the minister's stepped up next to the minister, holding out an open book for the minister to read from.

A cold wind started to blow, making the minister's alb snap like a flag in a breeze and stealing away some of the minister's words from Casey's ear. He resisted the impulse to move closer. The words were always almost the same anyway: console the family, talk about the better place that awaited, and what a wonderful person the deceased was. Saints or sinners, the words were the same and intimated that Saint Peter was standing with open arms to welcome the stiff to a heavenly reward. Casey had sent more than a few people to their reward but he doubted it was Saint Peter that was waiting for any of them.

The minister finished and nodded to the long-faced man standing nearby. The undertaker, no doubt. No, they liked to be called 'morticians' or 'funeral directors' or somesuch thing these days. Whatever he was called, the man hit a lever and the casket began its slow decent into the ground. Casey caught the sound of a few sniffles and wails from the onlookers.

The graveside service over, the mourners started to disburse; some going up to the family to offer their condolences, others drifting back to their cars in little groups.

Casey saw Walker lean over and say something to the man in the wheelchair beside her, the white bandages swathing his head a sharp contrast to his black suit and trench coat. Casey snorted. Yeah, Bartowski was probably all broken up over the death of the doctor who had poked around in that empty head of his. Just like the kid to be soft. Casey didn't regret this particular kill at all. Well, a little twinge but he was sure that just came from hanging around Bartowski too much. If this assignment didn't end soon, he might actually develop a conscience. One thing he was sure of, however. Saint Peter wasn't waiting for this one. Doctor Andrea Parker wasn't going to have to worry about the cold weather ever again. She was going to be nice and warm.

************************************

Sarah pushed Chuck's wheelchair toward the rental van while Devon walked along beside, shielding Chuck with an umbrella. Ellie clutched Devon's arm and huddled close against him for warmth. "You really shouldn't have come, Chuck," Ellie scolded.

"She saved my life," Chuck said lethargically. Sarah could tell this outing had left him exhausted and she wanted to get him back to Twin Oaks as quickly as possible. "Doctor Llewellyn said he doubted there were a half dozen people in the world who could have successfully performed the surgery. I owed it to her to come."

They reached the van and Sarah glanced over to see Casey hovering nearby, looking more like the angel of death than a guardian angel with his black suit and grim expression. Ellie looked up to see what Sarah was looking at but Casey had ducked behind a mausoleum.

Sarah helped Chuck into the van while Devon folded the wheelchair and put it in the back of the van. Sarah climbed in next to Chuck while Ellie slid into the front passenger's seat. Devon slammed the back door and then came around to get into the driver's seat. "Everybody strapped in?" he asked.

Sarah reached across Chuck to help him with his seatbelt. His trench coat was covered with a light sheen of water that stained Sarah's dress. Chuck smiled at her apologetically.

"That was so sad," Ellie said. "Andi was such a brilliant doctor. And to be killed like that in a robbery. Such a waste."

"Very tragic," Sarah agreed, at least verbally.

Chuck shivered next to her and Sarah pulled his coat tighter around him. "Ellie was right," Sarah said. "You shouldn't have come."

"I still don't see why I have to ride around in a wheelchair," Chuck grumbled. "I can walk."

"Chuck," Ellie chided. "You had surgery less than a week ago. Doctor Llewellyn didn't even want you to leave the hospital. But you're too stubborn to listen."

"It's a Bartowski trait," Chuck said, earning him a playful slap on his leg from Ellie.

Devon pulled away from the curb and Sarah turned to look behind them. Casey was climbing into his old, blue, non-descript Crown Victoria to tail them back to the rehab hospital.

Chuck reached over and took Sarah's hand. She smiled and squeezed his hand. "Chuck! You're freezing!" she said, and started rubbing his hands to warm them up.

"Who would have thought Sarah Walker could be such a mother hen," Chuck whispered.

"Watch it, buster," Sarah whispered back. "This mother hen can still kick your ass." Chuck laughed.

"Hey, you lovebirds," Devon chided, misinterpreting their whispers as usual. "Remember what Doctor Llewellyn said. No horizontal mambo until Chuck is recovered."

"Devon!" Ellie said and slapped his arm. "You have a one track mind."

"Can you blame me when you're the star of that track?" Devon asked and leaned over to kiss her.

"Eyes on the road, soldier," Chuck chided from the back. "I don't need to add car wreck to my resume."

Sarah gave him a knowing smile as she tried to recall the number of car wrecks Chuck actually had been in.

*****************************

Devon pulled the van up in front of Twin Oaks and a pair of attendants immediately rushed out. One opened the back to get out the wheelchair while the other opened the doors for Ellie and Sarah. He started to reach in for Chuck but Sarah elbowed him aside with an "excuse me" and helped him out herself. Chuck eased himself into the wheelchair and Sarah flipped down the leg rests for him.

"We have to take the van back," Ellie said. She leaned down and kissed Chuck on the cheek then gave Sarah a hug. "We'll stop by tomorrow, okay?"

"See ya, sis," Chuck said. "Drive safe, Devon."

Devon clapped Chuck on the shoulder and then surprised Sarah by giving her a hug. "We'll see you two tomorrow," he said. "Be good."

They climbed into the van and Chuck and Sarah watched them drive away. Chuck shivered again and Sarah said, "Come on. Let's get you inside and out of those wet clothes."

"What did you have in mind, Sarah?" Chuck teased.

Sarah broke into a grin. She had a lot of things in mind, but none of them were possible right now. "Remember Doctor Llewellyn's instructions," she said.

Chuck gave a theatrical sigh. Sarah grinned as she pushed Chuck into the building and toward his room. They never would have joked about sex before. Now Chuck was teasing her easily about it, as if they were a real couple. Were they? A real couple? It felt like it. It felt like the cover had become the reality. She knew that was what Chuck wanted, but was it best for him? Could they be in a real relationship and still be asset and handler? Beckman thought Sarah had used sex to manipulate Chuck into having the surgery. That, of course, was out of the question. The manipulation anyway. Clearly, though, their relationship had changed the moment that North Korean agent had fired his gun, and had changed irrevocably with their declarations of love at their hilltop picnic.

"Hello? Earth to Sarah?"

Sarah shook her head. She had stopped Chuck's wheelchair in front of the door to his room and was simply standing there behind his chair, lost in thought.

"Oh. Sorry," she said and stepped around him to open the door. Chuck struggled to his feet when she did.

"Chuck, wait," she cried.

"I can do this, Sarah. I'm not an invalid. I can at least walk that far." He shuffled slowly into the room and sat down on the side of the bed. "Ta da!" he said, holding his hands out.

Sarah grinned and pushed the wheelchair into the corner. "Okay, let's get you out of those wet clothes."

"Um, I think I can handle that on my own," Chuck said nervously.

"What's the matter, Chuck?" Sarah asked playfully. "Don't want my help?"

Chuck blushed. "I, um, need to, ah, practice doing it on my own," Chuck stammered.

Sarah stepped over to him and gave him a light kiss. "I'll go get changed and then I'll be back. It's almost time for dinner."

Chuck smiled at her and it was all Sarah could do to tear herself away from that smile. "Be back in a few," she said.

She slipped out of the room and let out a ragged breath. All this sexual innuendo was getting her a little hot and bothered as she thought about the various things she really would like to do to Chuck Bartowski.

She gave a little shake of her head and went to her room to change into a comfortable pair of sweats. The tension was high enough that she didn't really need to be wearing anything remotely provocative. Although she could hear Chuck's voice in her mind, 'Sarah Walker, you'd look fantastic in a burlap sack.' Even if she was just imagining it, his comment made her smile.

She hurried back down to Chuck's room. He was sitting on the couch and he smiled broadly when she came in. "You know, I think you're the only woman I know who looks as good in sweats as in a little black dress." Okay, so it wasn't the exact think she'd imagined, but it was extremely flattering nonetheless. The more so because Chuck said it with such complete sincerity. Other men flattered her to try and get in her pants. Chuck flattered her out of the absolute conviction that it was all true.

Sarah came over and sat down on the couch next to Chuck. Chuck smiled and gave her the Bartowski eyebrow dance. "Shall I order room service?" he said in a faux sexy voice.

Sarah laughed and slapped him on the arm. She smiled warmly at him and he smiled back. Oh how she could get lost in those brown eyes. "I…" she began, only to be interrupted by a knock at the door. 'Love you, Chuck Bartowski,' she finished in her thoughts. But she stood up and went to open the door.

"Good evening. Hungry?" the attendant asked, wheeling in a cart.

"Famished," Chuck said. The attendant wheeled the cart over and set out two meals on the table. Chuck struggled to his feet and took a seat at the table. Sarah thanked the attendant and he smiled at her and left.

"It smells wonderful," Sarah said. "What did we get tonight?"

"Looks like Chicken Kiev, wild rice, green beans, and Mississippi mud pie."

Sarah rolled her eyes and sighed. "An extra hour of workout tomorrow," she said.

Dinner was delicious as usual and when it was over, Chuck shuffled back over to the couch. Sarah cleaned up the dishes and then took her place next to him. Chuck had a serious expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" Sarah asked.

Chuck took a deep breath. "You've been putting off telling me, but I need to know. What really happened to Doctor Parker?"

"Chuck, I don't…"

"Please, Sarah," Chuck interrupted. "The truth. You've been protecting me long enough. It wasn't a robbery, was it?"

Chuck's words hit Sarah like a blow. 'The truth.' Clearly he expected that her first instinct would be to lie to him. Just like she did about Mauser. She had lied, ostensibly to protect him, only to end up hurting him more because he already knew the truth and her lie had hit him like a body blow. She thought back to what she had told him at that horrible, horrible dinner party before Zarnow kidnapped her, 'I didn't ask you to believe me, I asked you to trust me.' The statement had made so much sense at the time to Agent Walker, but Sarah Walker now saw how insane it really was. How could there be trust built on a web of lies? An agent's life was built on lies, but an agent trusted no one. A relationship, however, required trust. And trust required honesty. And, God help her, she was in a relationship with Chuck Bartowski whether she wanted it or not. She had been for a long time and just refused to recognize it. Perhaps it was time to start building real trust.

"The truth," Sarah said. She took a deep breath and looked at Chuck. The love in his eyes gave her the courage to go on. "Doctor Parker planned to kill you so that she could dissect your brain to see what made you flash. We didn't know that for sure before the surgery, but we confirmed it afterwards."

A flash of fear crossed Chuck's face and Sarah reached out to take his hand. "Dissect my brain?" he whispered.

"Just like the Fulcrum agents," Sarah said. "I'm sorry Chuck, but you wanted the truth."

Chuck nodded. "I do." He breathed a heavy sigh. "It's just… Never mind. Go on."

"Casey and I came up with a plan to insure that Parker performed the surgery correctly. I… I told her that I dosed her with a slow-acting poison and that if you died as a result of the surgery, she wouldn't get the antidote."

Chuck's eyes went wide. "Oh my God. Did you really…"

Sarah shook her head. "I thought about it. I came very close. But in this case, a bluff was better than the real thing. If I really poisoned her, she might find out what it was and get the antidote. And besides…" She paused and looked at Chuck.

"Besides what?" he asked.

Sarah looked down. "I knew you'd be disappointed in me if I did. Just like with Mauser. And I couldn't take that. Not again."

Chuck reached over, placed his fingers under her chin and gently raised her eyes to meet his. "I'm glad you didn't," he said. "Not for me, but for you. Because it's one less thing you'd have to live with."

Sarah felt her eyes well up with tears. Where did this man come from? She was telling him about someone wanting to cut up his brain and he was worried about her. Was this love? Is this what people in love were like?

Sarah took a deep breath and continued. "The bluff worked. We used our own surgical team instead of hers and we had Ellie and Devon sit in on the surgery to keep an eye on her, although they thought they were just observing as a courtesy. Parker did her best and you came through like a trooper." She smiled at him although she had to reach up and wipe a tear from her eye.

"So then was it really a robbery? She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time?"

Let him believe that, a part of her said. It's better for him if he believes that she died in some tragic accident. But she couldn't. The words haunted her. Trust. Truth. She had to tell him the truth, as much as it would shock him. He deserved to know the truth.

Sarah shook her head. She looked up at him, but couldn't meet his gaze and looked down at her hands resting in her lap. "I messed up. After the surgery, I should have given her some colored water and told her it was the antidote. But I didn't. I was mad at her. She had played me, played you, played us all. I… I was enjoying watching her suffer a little. I know that's petty of me. I'm sure you must hate me for that."

Chuck grabbed her hands. "I could never hate you, Sarah. No matter what. You have to believe that. You're too hard on yourself. You have to allow yourself to be human. And being human sometimes means you make mistakes. This doesn't sound like a big one to me."

"But it was," Sarah said. "Because it made Parker desperate. And desperate people do desperate things. First she tried to seduce Casey…"

"She what?" Chuck gasped, unable to restrain his laughter. "Seduce Casey? Isn't that kind of like coming on to Mount Rushmore?"

Sarah looked at Chuck and grinned. Only Chuck. In the middle of a horrific story like this he found something to laugh about.

"Protocol in a situation like that is to allow her to think that he was being seduced and then turn it against her. I don't know if Casey is rusty on his seduction protocols or just was incredibly turned off by what she was, but he laughed in her face."

Chuck grinned even wider. "Wow. From what I saw of her, that must have been an incredible blow to her ego."

Sarah nodded. "I would think so."

"I mean to be shot down by Casey, of all people."

At his words, 'shot down,' Sarah's smile faded. If Chuck wanted the whole truth, then the ugly part was coming up.

"What is it?" Chuck asked. "Sarah, what's wrong?"

The easiest thing to do was to continue the story. "Parker tried to turn the tables," Sarah said. "She gathered all the information on the Intersect and on you and the Fulcrum agents and she decided to sell it all to Fulcrum."

She licked her lips nervously. "Casey was monitoring her computer here and had all of the data he collected. And when you started having convulsions, they tried to call her and she didn't answer. We got worried so Casey worked some of his NSA magic. Their specialty is signal intelligence, after all. He put a tap on her house and intercepted all her phone calls and emails. When she tried to send some out that would have clued in Fulcrum, he blocked them and then posed as a Fulcrum agent code named Kodiak…"

"Like in bear?" Chuck asked. "Like, in Sugar Bear?"

Sarah grinned. "I hadn't thought of that, but yes. Kodiak. He arranged a meet with her." Sarah's eyes dropped to her lap again. "Chuck, you have to understand. Doctor Parker knew all about the Intersect and about you. She was incredibly dangerous. Beckman gave the order. It was the safest way."

Chuck sat back and took a ragged breath. "You mean Beckman didn't try to turn her? To use her?"

Sarah shook her head. "There was no point. We got Nate Forrest to write up a report showing that all the really critical information came from him, not from Parker. She became redundant."

"Redundant," Chuck said. "Interesting word for a human being."

"Chuck, it was the only way," Sarah said, a note of pleading in her voice.

"Like with Mauser," he said. "Too dangerous to live."

His words hit her like a baseball bat. She had thought, after their brief talk after the whole Tyler Martin affair, that he was over the whole Mauser incident. But apparently not. Apparently it still bothered him. And now he had a whole new reason to hate her.

Chuck sat still, staring blankly ahead. Sarah shrank back from him. The truth. This is what came of telling the truth. The truth erected walls between them. Lies erected walls between them. Perhaps it wasn't meant to be. Perhaps this was why agents and civilians, no matter who they were, could never truly be together.

Chuck got shakily to his feet and turned his back to her.

"Chuck?" Sarah asked. "Talk to me."

"It's been a long day," Chuck said. "I'm really tired."

Sarah's face fell. She struggled to hold back the tears.

Slowly, Chuck turned back around. "Did you know?" he asked.

Sarah blinked, causing a tear to fall down her cheek. "Did you know about the kill order?" Chuck asked again.

Sarah shook her head. "I was too busy," she said.

"Taking care of me," Chuck said.

Sarah nodded. "I thought I had lost you," she said. She hadn't intended to tell him, but the words came pouring out and she couldn't stop. "We couldn't find Parker and you were having convulsions. Ellie called Doctor Llewellyn and he decided to bring you out of the coma. As soon as he did, you started convulsing." Tears were streaming down her face now with the memory of those horrible moments. "I didn't know what was happening. I thought you were dying. That after everything, I had lost you for good."

Chuck walked slowly back over to her and sat back down next to her. She was sobbing now. "I should have known," she said in a half-sob, half laugh. "I think you enjoy scaring me like that. First Colt on the roof, then the Triad bomb, then the night you were shot…." She shook her head. "It's like some cruel trick, watching you die over and over again."

Chuck was holding her now. "But then Ellie explained that it was normal. Something called 'bucking the vent.' Somehow…"

"Shh," Chuck said. "It's okay, Sarah. I'm right here."

They sat on the couch for a long time, Sarah in Chuck's arms. Finally, she pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes. "We need to get you to bed," she said, suddenly embarrassed by her outburst. She was glad that Casey had the night off and that no one else had access to the surveillance cameras in Chuck's room. Some agent she was, blubbering like a baby.

"On one condition," Chuck said. "Stay with me."

"Chuck. That's not such a good idea. You're not…"

"No," Chuck said. "Not like that. Just… stay the night."

Helpless to resist, Sarah nodded.

Chuck stripped down to boxers and a t-shirt and Sarah to her camisole and panties. Chuck slipped into bed while Sarah walked over to turn out the light. Then she slipped into bed beside him. Chuck wrapped his arms around her and held her tight against him. She wriggled closer to him, trying to get as much of herself in contact with his body as possible.

"Chuck," she said softly. But she heard his soft breathing and knew he was already asleep. Sarah said a silent prayer of thanks for Charles Irving Bartowski, and then, safe in his arms, she drifted off to sleep.

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Author's notes:

Yes, once again this is the part where you can quit reading unless you want to be bored to tears by the author blathering on about his writing.

Still here? Masochist.

First off, I want to thank the incredible **Poa** for all her help on this story. **Poa** caught the typos in my first story and was kind enough to send me corrections. I then began to impose upon her by sending her my chapters beforehand to look over and she not only caught the myriad typos and bad grammar, but started to offer suggestions as to plot, pacing and the like. She has evolved from proof-reader to editor to collaborator. **Poa**, my hat is off to you. As I told your pal **truthseeker**, we have never met but I consider you a true friend. (BTW: both **Poa** and **truthseeker** are talented authors in their own right. Check out their stories here on . And visit us and our merry band of misfits over at Chuck versus the GoogleGroup over on, what else, Google Groups).

Thanks also to the incredible reviewers. Some of you I have exchanged notes with and you are an incredible bunch of folks.

Now, for some notes on the story.

This story evolved from a very simple concept into something much different that I had originally planned. Before I started the prequel, Chuck versus a Normal Life, I had started a story called Chuck versus the Black Hole where Chuck was hit by a car and lost the ability to flash. I abandoned it and wrote Burn Notice and Normal Life instead. Then I realized, after Normal Life, that the basic concept of Black Hole worked as a sequel to Normal Life. When I started this story, that was pretty much the whole idea: Chuck has lost the ability to flash and has to make a Decision (hence the title) of whether to have surgery to be able to flash again or be free of the Intersect forever. Where the heck the evil Doctor Parker came from, I have no idea.

As some of you know from my previous notes, I am a Charah shipper and a hopeless romantic. But given where the characters and in the series, I can't see Sarah just jumping into Chuck's arms and declaring her love. That first "I love you" from each of Chuck and Sarah is going to be a watershed moment and I wanted to make it as difficult as possible for them and a momentous occasion. I hope I succeeded in making the ILY's at the picnic logical and believable and not just something tossed off by the characters in a moment of passion.

Finally, a word about Point of View. I tried an experiment with this story. Usually my point of view jumps all over the place, from character to character or even the 'God view' of seeing all the characters actions and reading all their thoughts. I wanted to try something different with this story so I limited it to Sarah and Andi's points of view with two exceptions. One, as I noted at the time, was the Interlude of Chuck's dream so that this story would tie back to the world of Chuck's fantasy life in 'Normal Life.' The other is after Casey kills Andi. By doing so, he 'inherits' her point of view, allowing the scene at the funeral to have greater impact (I hope). By this little cheat, I hope I preserved the narrative flow and point of view and made it a stronger story. You will have to be the judge of that.

So now what? We're firmly in Alternate Universe territory now given the divergence of the series while I was writing this. What next for Sarah, Chuck and Casey? Their world and their relationships have undergone a sea change in this story. Perhaps some day I'll do a sequel to this sequel and explore what all these changed mean for Team Bartowski.

In the meantime, I really, really need to get busy on Chuck versus the Buy more Bomber. I had intended to write both stories at the same time, but 'Decision' really is the more interesting of the two for me (I'm an angsty kind of guy) and it kind of took precedence. For those of you who have been waiting on an update for 'Bomber', my profound apologies. It will now get the attention it deserves.

Thanks for sticking with me.

Timewalker


End file.
